WHO E'fn Did it?!?!

Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 09-08-2014, 10:15 PM
Its a giant mystery
Wrapped in an enigma
Surrounded by a crisp tortilla shell..
Many wonder, how could it have happened?
Who fucked up?
Will we ever know?
As with any mystery, there will be fingers pointed. There will be lies & innuendos. False claims & angered cries.
However...here at TNN (ToYz Newz Networkz) we want the READERS to decide...
WHO did it?
Where did they do it?
What did they do it with?
So please cast your previous thoughts aside. Clear your brains of any extraneous thoughts. Take a few cleansing breaths & work through to conclusion as we play...
"Do you have an E'fn CLUE"?
First lets determine where it occurred...here are your potential impregnation sites.
In the Study
In the Kitchen
In the John
In the Hallway
In the Library
In the Conservatory
In the billiard room
What's your best scenario? Kitchen? Hallway?
Now, lets look at our Friendly Weapons...
Giant Cock
Pencil Dick
Ego Dick
Big Prick
Stiffy
But, who was it?
The Shark-The stealthy Shark. You never know he is coming until he swims up and bites you on the ass. Once he has you in his grips, few escape. Several have complained "he uses too much teeth". Did the Shark take too much of a bite?
The Troll-The benevolent troll. Lures you in with gifts & humor, then when you are at your weakest point !!!SLAMDANGO!!! Its all over. Did the troll put it in too deep?
The Beagle-The loveable Beagle. All doe eyed & petable. Until he gets you alone, then its dry humping every body part for hours without mercy. Did the snugable Beagle do it?
The Trouser Weasel-Ah the fuzzy little trouser weasel. You never know he is around until you feel the soft dampness of his nuzzling. Could the weasel have crawled in too far?
Man from the Monestery-Eloquently quoting scripture, the MM wins over the heart with his somber countenance & trusting nature. Then he whips out the holy scepter and cuts loose. Vegas odds have MM as a likely candidate.
Pencil Dick-Pencil Dick is a very secretive kind of guy. You hardly know he is there or when he leaves. But his mark is on many. Could the reed thin Pencil Dick be responsible?
John-Claims have been levied that JOHN is indeed the accountable one. He is shrouded in secrecy...wrapped in intrigue. He is both hero & devil wrapped in one. Did John really stake his claim to the nightmare child?
The GB Bunch-Probability hints that the "shot heard round the southside" emanated from the collective. If so, can a paternity test clear up the indecision?
The Monster-Despite his penchant for bypassing the normal womanly faire & concentrating on the lower extremities, could the Monster be Da Daddy?
The Centaur-Weaving his intoxicating words of seduction, the Centaur beguiles the ladies with a velvet (although confusing) tongue. Could he have laid a bit too much asspipe causing meeting of he sperm & egg?
Now, you have seen the available locations. You have been apprised of the choice of weapons. You have an intimate view of the most likely candidates...so now you have to solve the mystery.
What is YOUR guess?
  • Was it Pencil Dick, with a Pencil Dick in the Conservatory?
  • Was it The Troll, with a Stiffy in the Kitchen?
  • Was it the John, with his ego dick, in the John?
WHO can solve the mystery? You?
They need to take the computers away from you middle school kids.
Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 09-08-2014, 11:13 PM
They need to take the computers away from you middle school kids. Originally Posted by easy money

Who's they, rookie?

David.Douchehurst's Avatar
Ah blame Obama.
Beagle's Avatar
SL's the one with the money......he should just take up the role of financially supporting the kid.....for good karma.....
Still Looking's Avatar
SL's the one with the money......he should just take up the role of financially supporting the kid.....for good karma..... Originally Posted by Beagle
HammockedHank's Avatar
lame yo.
Centaur's Avatar
Sorry but not even remotely my type.
Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 09-09-2014, 07:30 AM
lame yo. Originally Posted by HammockedHank
Fake...yo.
Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 09-09-2014, 07:43 AM
FYI for all the non contributing lurkers. If u don't like what I post kindly put me on ignore. I'm not writing or contributing anything here for your lame asses.

Your opinions... Until you become a valued contributor...are simply laughed at.

Get in the game or STFU. You guy(Or girls posing as guys) are as pointless as STL trying to avoid Welcome Wagon.
Bob McV's Avatar
I am going to guess:

mickey mouse ( or is that Deadmaus5; I always get those two confused)
with immaculate conception
while outstanding in her field flying her kite very high
HammockedHank's Avatar
FYI for all the non contributing lurkers. If u don't like what I post kindly put me on ignore. I'm not writing or contributing anything here for your lame asses.

Your opinions... Until you become a valued contributor...are simply laughed at.

Get in the game or STFU. You guy(Or girls posing as guys) are as pointless as STL trying to avoid Welcome Wagon. Originally Posted by Toyz
heh
Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 09-09-2014, 10:13 AM
heh Originally Posted by HammockedHank
Hank I got 20 & a Bologna & Velveeta sammich that says if a reverse search were done on you by the MODS, we would find a duplicated handle...

Take the challenge...
you might need to take a little break. IJS
Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 09-09-2014, 12:29 PM
you might need to take a little break. IJS Originally Posted by Smokin Joe
Yeah I think you are right. We need more "has anyone seen this BP girl" posts...