Morality in the hobby.... thoughts, questions, experiences??

I recently watched The Contender and it reminded me of some of the political and darker sides of this hobby.

I'll add something because I think this could be a great topic to discuss.

About 2 years ago I had an evening OC with a travelling provider. Had seen her a couple of times and we really, really connected. This night we were having a good bit of fun just hanging out pre-festivities & decided tequila shots (along with the jello shots I had made) would be fun....long and short of it, we got hammered...did the deed...I suggested she not drive since she could barely walk, and that she could sleep it off in another bedroom as I was NOT trying to take advantage of a situation. She declined the other bedroom and slept with me-at no further rate increase.

The next morning I had to be to work, so asked her to just lock up on her way out.

She thought it appropriate to steal something valuable as a token of our evening together...

When I found out, I informed her that she should have researched who I am a bit better, and explained what was about to happen to her. As she was already one state away, I gave her the benefit of the doubt when she said she would return it....

She DID return it...I took her to lunch that day (mostly to scold her & hope that a lesson could be imparted). We became GOOD friends. Developed a long term tryst where she stayed with me when in town, worked days, then the nights we acted kind of like a couple. Over time she earned a key to my place to come and go as needed (with notice of course). She never betrayed that trust again.

She has long since left the hobby, found love, but still communicates with me on occasion kind of in a mentoring capacity.

Moral of this story? Take it for what you want... I could have blown her up, which I probably would have done most times, but something about me said this one might be worth a bit of understanding and investing in. I was right.

I can relate to Toyz story. Had someone take something very minor and inexpensive. Probably about $2 in postage stamps. Big loss of dollars...No. Big loss of trust...Yes. That's what can't be replaced.

Mindful of what we see on shows like the Apprentice, I ran into a scenario back in Ohio that I could only call blatant viciousness. There were 3 ladies that worked together. One acted as a scheduler as the other two had RW jobs. I guess they did ok but took in a new provider who eventually outshined them all. She also had a RW job so things were doing well at the start but soon started getting a little hairy.

The scheduler would advertise "specials" without telling her. She'd expect $200 but get $150. Special requests for lingerie, etc. weren't passed on to her. She never did Greek but was advertised as doing it. Guys inquiring about her were "diverted". She finally left and went low volume Indy but was constantly under attack from the other 3 with rumors about her safety and fabricated health issues.

None of that hurt her biz since those things tend to shake out over time, but it does go down in my book as one of the most vindictive things I've experienced in the hobby.

but was constantly under attack from the other 3 with rumors about her safety and fabricated health issues.

None of that hurt her biz since those things tend to shake out over time, but it does go down in my book as one of the most vindictive things I've experienced in the hobby. Originally Posted by Loxly

I've personally experienced that exact same thing - fabricated health issue and BBFS rumors - because of a jealous provider.

I've personally experienced that exact same thing - fabricated health issue and BBFS rumors - because of a jealous provider. Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

I've gotten this from an ex-boss of mine. He and his female associate have spread every rumor under the sun, from me doing bbfs to me posting bad reviews of his girls. All because I left to go indie. Not to mention the harassing phone calls.

Bottom line is there's a lot of ugliness in this business. It's only made me that much more confident in the fact that there's no real love or friendship, $$$ and jealousy will make anyone backstab you.

I've gotten this from an ex-boss of mine. He and his female associate have spread every rumor under the sun, from me doing bbfs to me posting bad reviews of his girls. All because I left to go indie. Not to mention the harassing phone calls.

Bottom line is there's a lot of ugliness in this business. It's only made me that much more confident in the fact that there's no real love or friendship, $$$ and jealousy will make anyone backstab you. Originally Posted by JapaneseShae

I disagree...its there but it takes work, trust & understanding by both parties...THAT is what is hard to find & its rare.

I disagree...its there but it takes work, trust & understanding by both parties...THAT is what is hard to find & its rare. Originally Posted by Toyz

It's a nice thought. I suppose I'm just hurt because I thought of those people as my friends within this world. I don't have time for friends outside of it because of my school and work schedule. I always thought that in this business we girls only have each other. It hurts when people you trusted throw you to the wolves and others are quick to believe the lies. Just tells me that those people never truly knew me.

It's a nice thought. I suppose I'm just hurt because I thought of those people as my friends within this world. I don't have time for friends outside of it because of my school and work schedule. I always thought that in this business we girls only have each other. It hurts when people you trusted throw you to the wolves and others are quick to believe the lies. Just tells me that those people never truly knew me. Originally Posted by JapaneseShae

Relationships change over time. In the scenario you mentioned-having a handler-of course when you left there was going to be retaliation. Its the nature of the business. Instead of being surprised by it, you should have EXPECTED it.

Girls are competitors...that's not to say you wont or cant make friends...but think of it as what it is. You are all working in an open market place and selling the same bananas...eventually there are going to be too may bananas for everyone to eat & therein lies the dilemma

You should join the PMS Team...they seem to be thriving...LOL!

We've all been "betrayed" in this world, its how you react to those betrayals that dictate your future. I refuse to let someone have that much control over me...not that it doesn't make me a bit suspicious when it happens, it does...

Relationships change over time. In the scenario you mentioned-having a handler-of course when you left there was going to be retaliation. Its the nature of the business. Instead of being surprised by it, you should have EXPECTED it.

Girls are competitors...that's not to say you wont or cant make friends...but think of it as what it is. You are all working in an open market place and selling the same bananas...eventually there are going to be too may bananas for everyone to eat & therein lies the dilemma

You should join the PMS Team...they seem to be thriving...LOL!

We've all been "betrayed" in this world, its how you react to those betrayals that dictate your future. I refuse to let someone have that much control over me...not that it doesn't make me a bit suspicious when it happens, it does... Originally Posted by Toyz

I don't really agree that we all sell the same "bananas". Every girl is different, both in looks and the session she provides. So I don't see anyone as competition. As for my boss, I didn't expect it because I'd been candid with him for so long about saving money to go on my own. He encouraged me to. It's why I was shocked when I found out about the rumors.

In any case, perhaps you're right.

Hobbying is just like real life. There are good seeds and there are bad seeds....good people and bad people. I treat morality issue in the hobby as I would in RW.

I don't really agree that we all sell the same "bananas". Every girl is different, both in looks and the session she provides. So I don't see anyone as competition. As for my boss, I didn't expect it because I'd been candid with him for so long about saving money to go on my own. He encouraged me to. It's why I was shocked when I found out about the rumors.

In any case, perhaps you're right. Originally Posted by JapaneseShae

Let me rephrase it...

Each hobbiest has "X" number of $ to spend-only a select few put no restraints on their hobby budget. All the girls are what they spend it on. So like it or not, you are competitors for the same pool of cash. And while we each are looking for a certain experience, its the same group of girls...although some cum and some go over time.

If he encouraged you, then stabbed you in the back, that's a whole nother bunch of bananas to be sure. I wrongly assumed you just broke from the pack and set out on your own. My apologies for that assumption.

Do unto others....

It's really quite simple. Done smartly, it's a business.

I've gotten this from an ex-boss of mine. He and his female associate have spread every rumor under the sun, from me doing bbfs to me posting bad reviews of his girls. All because I left to go indie. Not to mention the harassing phone calls.

Bottom line is there's a lot of ugliness in this business. It's only made me that much more confident in the fact that there's no real love or friendship, $$$ and jealousy will make anyone backstab you. Originally Posted by JapaneseShae

Miss Mona (Dolly Parton) says it best: "Honey, we see everthin' in this profession, but one thing I ain't never seen - man or woman - is a grown-up."

I was once accused of stealing something from a client I had spent quite a bit of off the clock time with. I thought we were friends, but apparently I was just a stereotypical hooker with a capital "H" with whom one must sleep with one eye open lest she steal something or attempt to murder you in your sleep. A couple of days later, he found what he had simply misplaced and apologized. But, where do you go from there? I was so offended and hurt by that accusation. I couldn't even stand to look at him after that. I have never stolen anything from anyone in or outside of this capacity. Just floored me. Totally unexpected. I don't think of myself any differently because I do this, but apparently men do. Or at least, this one did. I don't believe he would have accused me of that had we met and were hanging out, dating, whatever, in any way besides this one. Still makes me so angry. Was a good lesson in drawing lines between your professional and personal life, which can get kinda blurry sometimes in this line of work.

I was once accused of stealing something from a client I had spent quite a bit of off the clock time with. I thought we were friends, but apparently I was just a stereotypical hooker with a capital "H" with whom one must sleep with one eye open lest she steal something or attempt to murder you in your sleep. A couple of days later, he found what he had simply misplaced and apologized. But, where do you go from there? I was so offended and hurt by that accusation. I couldn't even stand to look at him after that. I have never stolen anything from anyone in or outside of this capacity. Just floored me. Totally unexpected. I don't think of myself any differently because I do this, but apparently men do. Or at least, this one did. I don't believe he would have accused me of that had we met and were hanging out, dating, whatever, in any way besides this one. Still makes me so angry. Was a good lesson in drawing lines between your professional and personal life, which can get kinda blurry sometimes in this line of work. Originally Posted by chelseabean

Chealsea,

I admit it has made me a bit wary. I WANT to trust, its my nature. But after what happened with the one girl I am a bit leary. Is that fair? Maybe not. Does it have precedence? Yes it does.

Some of it IS stereotyping... I would ask you this. With your situation...might he have been just as suspicious if the girl in question were not in the hobby? Its possible...maybe his trust issues are born of something entirely different... only you would know.

I say (sadly) for myself I am a bit more careful leaving uber valuables out...which is a good practice no matter the background of your houseguests. No temptation, no regrets is my new mantra.