Hobby Chemistry and the Lost Unicorn

We've all had that feeling. Your best friend in the 5th grade moves to Modesto. The stray dog you took in last year runs off never to be seen again. Your high school sweetheart goes off to Baylor and you go to Central Nebraska State A&M. Fate drops good things in our laps, shows us the joy of good companionship and and then the bitch snatches it away. We sometimes get attached, sometimes just a little, sometimes fiercely. The joy of the present and hope for the future blinds us to the reality that people and things change and life moves on in the blink of an eye.

I've met some lovely ladies in this sport, probably three times what my scoreboard shows. Some were sub par, the majority average and some were worth several visits eventually fading away as the novelty wore off. I've got several ATF's in my rotation now and I see them when I can. Something about them keeps you coming back. But then there's the proverbial unicorn. Looks? Well, yeah! Talent? Of course. Combine all the positives and the best thing about them is you just click. In my experience chemistry is the most important factor for a continuing hobby relationship. I didn't come here looking for chemistry(in the eloquent words of Ted Nugent "I'm a breeder") but every now and again it finds me. And rarely does chemistry hook up with all the other variables to make a unicorn.

Fate paid me a visit recently. My unicorn, or "hobby wife" as we called it recently moved onto the RW. No hints, no warnings, just gone. It caught me a little off guard to say the least. Prior to her I had a unicorn relationship that lasted over ten years and it was very rewarding. We've been enjoying each others company for two years and I never once stopped to consider that one day she might be gone. Then she called me and told me the news. As she talked I was reminiscing about the early days when I recognized we had chemistry. At first it was the ability to talk about anything. Soon it became more where we shared personal thoughts and feelings. Boundaries never had to be discussed or crossed and we were still comfortable sharing our life stories. We'd check in with each other, talk about when we'd meet again and what we'd do, go have lunch, re-arrange her furniture, cry over personal tragedies or just cuddle in bed talking. She helped me, I helped her. She even told me she'd like to try something different and that I should introduce another woman into our fun. Occasionally she'd say "why did you see that provider? She's cuter than me" or "her tits are nicer". We even talked about going to Mexico for a weekend this spring and I'll tell you I'd rather travel solo than risk having a rotten time with someone I don't click with. We had become friends. To sum it up it was just genuinely fun and easy. Finally she said "I'll call you next time I'm around and we can have lunch".

My heart dropped just a smidgen during that phone call but more than anything I was happy for her. Fuck my own feelings, I'll get over it. Not every player on this field is offered an off ramp and probably more don't take it. Instead of being sad I'm extremely grateful to have spent time with such a wonderful person. Lot's of players will warn against getting too involved with providers, that it can't possibly end up good. I see their point, but if you do it carefully and know whom your dealing with the risk can be worth the reward. Now begins the hard part: searching for more good chemistry with the fine ladies of this field. I know there's more unicorns out there and I intend to find one.

She has chemistry with the guy she left with. For now

If she went to Baylor and you went to Central Nebraska State A&M no wonder she left you.

For me, that happens about once every 15 years and lasts a much shorter period of time, usually because she quickly realized that there are lots of other guys who have more of what she's looking for, or do what she likes better. Having lost a unicorn fairly recently, I doubt that the next siting will actually occur when scheduled, as that will be at age 75.

At least you got a phone call and the opportunity to say goodbye and wish her well. There are few things worse than realizing that the silence on the other end means, "You didn't really mean shit to me."

I've got several ATF's in my rotation now and I see them when I can. Something about them keeps you coming back. But then there's the proverbial unicorn. Looks? Well, yeah! Talent? Of course. Combine all the positives and the best thing about them is you just click. In my experience chemistry is the most important factor for a continuing hobby relationship. I didn't come here looking for chemistry(in the eloquent words of Ted Nugent "I'm a breeder") but every now and again it finds me. And rarely does chemistry hook up with all the other variables to make a unicorn.

Fate paid me a visit recently. My unicorn, or "hobby wife" as we called it recently moved onto the RW. No hints, no warnings, just gone. It caught me a little off guard to say the least. Prior to her I had a unicorn relationship that lasted over ten years and it was very rewarding. We've been enjoying each others company for two years and I never once stopped to consider that one day she might be gone. Then she called me and told me the news. As she talked I was reminiscing about the early days when I recognized we had chemistry.Now begins the hard part: searching for more good chemistry with the fine ladies of this field. I know there's more unicorns out there and I intend to find one. Originally Posted by johnclark

Ya i feel Ur pain, been their done that, been searching for years for unicorn #2.

If she went to Baylor and you went to Central Nebraska State A&M no wonder she left you. Originally Posted by TheEccie214

Lol

If she went to Baylor and you went to Central Nebraska State A&M no wonder she left you. Originally Posted by TheEccie214

Fun Fact: Baylor has the lowest ROI of any university in the country.

Geez really? A hooker wife, no such thing. A unicorn , well does not exist man get a fing grip and find a life.

This is fantasy not reality. you need to step back and find out how to live life

For me, that happens about once every 15 years and lasts a much shorter period of time, usually because she quickly realized that there are lots of other guys who have more of what she's looking for, or do what she likes better. Having lost a unicorn fairly recently, I doubt that the next siting will actually occur when scheduled, as that will be at age 75.

At least you got a phone call and the opportunity to say goodbye and wish her well. There are few things worse than realizing that the silence on the other end means, "You didn't really mean shit to me." Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Sadly this happens to me about every 3 years or so. Not to the same degree as the OP, but chemistry non the less. No, I don't fall in love but I sometimes buy too much into what she is showing me and saying to me. I believe the sells pitch that keeps me coming back and sometimes React to that sells pitch by doing something stupid. Then your 2nd paragraph happens and it slaps you in the face and you ask yourself " what the hell were you thinking ". Then you promise you will never do that again and go out looking for another.

Thanks for sharing this OP....this was touching to me....and meaningful...and genuine...wish we had more ppl like that in our hobby

There's nothing wrong with CNSAM, it's an up and coming research institute.

Fun Fact: Baylor has the lowest ROI of any university in the country. Originally Posted by Fort Worth Punk

I agree.

Geez really? A hooker wife, no such thing. A unicorn , well does not exist man get a fing grip and find a life.

This is fantasy not reality. you need to step back and find out how to live life Originally Posted by sweet_k47

I bet I can guess your age and weight...

Sorry John. Tough breaks. Don't get too down.

Sorry Buba , chemistry is difficult to find RW or hobby I have had the same issue. PS its about 10-1 I have met a lot of nice ladies is the sport but very few with real chemistry.