"What troubles you, Sister?" asked the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the
day you spent with your family."
"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try
to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I
devoted my life to Christ."
"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it your day
of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in
vain today!"
"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell
me all about it!"
"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this
hole is a monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden
green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever
made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits
a bird in mid-flight !"
"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make
you blaspheme, Sister!"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom
what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off
down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized the Mother.
"But I didn't, Mother!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of myself! And
while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of
the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his
paws!"
"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.
"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the
hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk
dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled
to about 18 inches from the cup!"
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed
the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"
