But not everyone is as lucky as I am......
-The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
-I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
-CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
-If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them .
-Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
-McDonald's is selling the 1 /4 'ouncer'.
-Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.
"Newsflash"- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
-Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
-The Mafia is laying off judges.
-BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.
-Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $ 1 .5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Life line and was connected to a call center in Pakistan . When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
