Winning the lottery

A husband and wife are watching the lottery jackpot winning numbers reveal on television when the husband says, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"

The wife says, "I'd take my righful half and leave your sorry ass."

The husband says, "I won $12 yesterday on a lotto scratch-off. Here's six bucks. Go pack your shit and get out!"

Perfect LOL!

... Okay - That one was not bad, mate.

#### Salty

Husband comes home after work and finds his wife in the living room with her suitcase packed.

"Where the fuck you goin?" he askes as she flips him off on the way out the door.

'Atlanta. I had enough of your bullshit so I'm moving to the city far away from your sorry ass'

'Oh is that right? And how exactly are you going to afford to live in Atlanta?'

'If ya must know I my girlfriend that lives down there says guys are paying $200 for a good blowjob. What do you think about that?'

He holds up a finger 'hold up. be right back' and hops upstairs.

A few minutes later he comes back down with his own suitcase and says 'ok lets go! I have gotta see this for myself'

'See what smartass you know I give a damn good blowjob shit I might even be able to charge $250'

'Shit I ain't doubting that the only reason really I kept you around in the first place is that deep throat'

'Ok so what is it you just gotta see for yourself hmm?'

'Fuck yeah you could get $250 for a blowjob in Atlanta what I gotta see for myself is how you are gonna survive on $500 a year!'

ba-dum-dum