The Importance of Being Earnest, A Guide For Secrecy in the Hobby

Google Voice. Last year I watched a documentary on Google, the STD of the Internet. From that movie I gleaned a plethora of information that intrigued, and subsequently, scared the shit out of me. I won't share the boring details, mainly because I have an elementary understanding of cyberspace and technology in general, but what resonated with me was this: Google is creating cyber profiles of everyone! This should not be surprising, we live in America. Freedom is not free. I am going to table this point for now...

My experience with this world is upper level. In college I dabbled with the occasional Sugar Daddy, and after grad school I found swingers clubs. I have always been aware of the "hobby" and have taken a bench perspective for a number of years now. There are many things that vex my mind in regards to this lifestyle, and some of those things are open to interpretation. But one fundamental factor in this equation is the necessity and crucial subject of privacy. Privacy of private lives and privacy of spouses, how do we keep the boundaries concrete?

I am not married nor am I dating. However, I would guess that a large number of the men (and women) I spend my time with are. I go to great lengths to keep my personal life separate. I don't even have a hobby phone! I assume that everyone else here does the same, right? It only seems logical, but what are the tricks of the trade? What steps are taken to ensure discretion is preserved and boundaries are drawn? The whole compartmentalization of Batman and Bruce Wayne is confusing. I think there must be some sort of mutual respect and understanding. Right?

I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. How do you keep the hobby separate from your private life? I am so intrigued. Don't be bashful, share! Let's round table this discussion, I am an advocate of the Socratic Method

Belle

My private life is pretty easy since I am unmarried and not currently in relationship. I dont use a hobby phone either. The way I keep privacy is quite simple be very non chalant as to not raise suspicion. I typically will only see one or two providers of month. Patience is needed if want discretion. If you spend to much money or create patterns of behavior then eye brows raise at what you are doing. If you would like to discuss I sent you email

JDC

I don't use a hobby phone...I am married... I keep it on silent when the SO is around and ALWAYS, ALWAYS keep it ON ME!! It is NEVER, EVER left alone and it is locked!

As a photographer of beautiful (usually young) models I always have that cover as well... Several providers have been in my car calendars that I shoot and I think most of those ladies have met my SO at some point in passing through the house for photoshoots... As long as EVERYONE plays their role correctly (me as photog, provider as model) it all works just fine!

Like Jack I'm flying solo and, providing I don't find someone I hate enough to marry, will remain so. (J/K)

My gauge is to not bet anything that I can't afford to lose. Be it money, job or reputation. I don't have much to lose if I would be "outed". My deepest fears in the hobby are, and not necessarily in this order:

1. Being caught with an underaged provider and being labeled as a predator. (I have asked for ID)
2. Being mugged. (It will be an interesting outcome)
3. Contracting something that's un-treatable.
4. Sloppy actions by some providers that appear to jeapordize their security, and therefore possibly mine.

My least fear is some gov't agency monitoring me. I pesonally believe that unless there are issues of human trafficing or violent crimes then we'll pass through the cyber net. But alot has to do with what you're putting into your communications. Which is why many of the providers have the sense to state that they won't respond to specific actions or services.

Fears about the NSA collecting or scanning everything is not completely unfounded. BUT the reality is that they couldn't build out servers fast enough to store everything. Nor would they want or need to. Eventually the gov't will pressure the carriers to do the scanning for them and then pass on anything that fits a particular profile. Then they'll need to do the investigation to determine if it's something they want to pursue or store.

I've worked on gov't systems like this for other agencies and there simply aren't enough investigators to run "incidents" to ground. (Verizon wrote most of the code and have been doing things along this line for over 15 years)

Sorry if I drifted a bit. Bottom line is that I don't have much to lose unlike anyone whose "outting" may destroy their civilian life. So again, don't bet what you can't afford to lose. If you DO lose..... there's always Costa Rica.

I keep the hobby seperate from my personal life by not being arigaint about my choice to date ladies here, most of my close friends, band mates know I like to play with the sex-athlets and they don't care or think different of me. We all pay for it one way or another, I do it on my turms. The only thing I fear is catching something a can't fix, if you play long enough odds are you will get something so be prepared for that, if you can't afford to loos it (outed, STD) don't use it.

I'm single and will probably remain that way so I don't care if people know what I do for my pleasure. I'm not arigaint as I mention so I don't flawnt it, but not ashamed at all.

IB

Google is creating cyber profiles of everyone! This should not be surprising, we live in America. Freedom is not free. I am going to table this point for now...

Comment: surely an educated woman such as you have read 1984? Cyberspace is big brother

How do you keep the hobby separate from your private life? I am so intrigued. Don't be bashful, share! Let's round table this discussion, I am an advocate of the Socratic Method Originally Posted by BelleAustin

Answer: I'm retired and single. My hobby life is my real life - and may I add - nice to see you in coed again Beautiful Belle

I have read 1984 - and I hope that anyone educated in the public high school system can say the same!

This is such an odd little world we play in. I like the notion of "not gambling what you can't afford to lose." Information is a currency. It is exchanged at a premium (this forum is an excellent example) and it retains its value, especially when compiled collectively.

I think I am getting too philosophical here. I'm going to play devil's advocate:

What happens when information falls in the wrong hands? An angry wife, ex girlfriend, former lover, etc, in those hands information can be lethal. So in the event that those factors exist for an individual, how do you keep your secret life a secret? Hobby phones? Google voice? Separate email accounts? Secret handshakes? And is everyone privy to these things or is it just a general understanding that players (providers and hobbyists) undergo a pseudo-witness protection transformation?

I find people to be so fascinating. The things we will do to ensure self-preservation...it's like we all have an inner Batman.

Belle

Your thinking fascinates me. Yes information in wrong hands is always dangerous. I believe part of our pysche gets a thrill from the danger. We know there will be consequences, but we do it anyway. Its of sorts. Game of cat and mouse.

Belle

Your mind and.thinking fascinates me. I believe our psyche enjoys the danger it creates by knowingwhst could happen. Its a thrill that some have not.realized yet. Information in wrong hands is dangerous. We can do all kinds of things to try and hide our little hpbby, but truth is one little mistake can end up openinga can of hell fury. We just like to tell ourselves it wont happen to us.

I kind of like to go utr right now.

I research the girls i meet on here and only see people who have multiple reviews from reputable members.

I don't have a hobby phone. I do all of my communicating through pm and my hobby gmail acct. I also use a 3rd party texting app called textplus when i need to text. I think this is app is separate from my cell phone acct and doesn't leave a footprint (i don't think). I don't call people just pm, email, or text through text plus.

I use firefox and have it set to delete my web history every time I close the browser. I use a good virus scanner which i think will pick up any web logging programs I am married but feel pretty safe right now in the way i do things. I don't think I leave any tracks for le i don't think. I will probably make a mistake some time in the future and get caught by my so somehow but if feel ok with how things are working right now.

While we hang our medals, awards and trophies out on display, it's the deeds we do in the shadows that we're most proud of. Ever read "My Secret Life"?

Back in Ohio our group was known as The Hole in the Wall gang. We branded ourselves as Outlaws because we operated a little shy of the law but still had the opportunity to share our "accomplishments" with our fellow outlaws.

Can you imagine having something you'd really like to share but can't. It's like being 14th in line to the bathroom in a public place. You've GOT to let it out but not on the floor. Places like ECCIE and such give us some relief.

Ever had an ATM or cashier give you more money back than you were supposed to get. Pull a fast one on the IRS. knowingly pick up a $400 vase at a garage sale for .50.

Like some have said, living a little on the edge helps keep us sharp. And who doesn't like inside jokes?

I have read 1984 - and I hope that anyone educated in the public high school system can say the same!

This is such an odd little world we play in. I like the notion of "not gambling what you can't afford to lose." Information is a currency. It is exchanged at a premium (this forum is an excellent example) and it retains its value, especially when compiled collectively.

I think I am getting too philosophical here. I'm going to play devil's advocate:

What happens when information falls in the wrong hands? An angry wife, ex girlfriend, former lover, etc, in those hands information can be lethal. So in the event that those factors exist for an individual, how do you keep your secret life a secret? Hobby phones? Google voice? Separate email accounts? Secret handshakes? And is everyone privy to these things or is it just a general understanding that players (providers and hobbyists) undergo a pseudo-witness protection transformation?

I find people to be so fascinating. The things we will do to ensure self-preservation...it's like we all have an inner Batman. Originally Posted by BelleAustin

A house without any doors is more secure than a house with doors.

Also, Animal Farm was much better! The "public high school system" was/is a dismal failure. I learned in spite of it.