I have a recurring nightmare,
That there is some lady out there,
She thinks that my ass needs some love
And it yearns a twelve incher shove.
It has had me waking in fear,
I have now resorted to beer,
Was told to call her Dirk Diggler,
While she slapped on her new wiggler.
Tried to yell, "Stop Mistress Shannon!",
She began mounting the cannon.
A new improved asshole she tore,
A tragedy shared in all of folklore,
Apples can pass, not just the corn
Eas'ly through unfaded unworn.
One cannot put it more gently,
My ass was made for NO ENTRY!