Discussion on GFE

I am sure this has been discussed before, but I would like to get some feedback from guys and ladies on what constitutes a GFE experience.

I recently had a discussion with a lady who has had my repeat business concerning this subject. I brought up how I felt the level of GFE had declined significantly over a period of time. I would like to state at this point that I have always gifted above expectations.

Now granted, our first visit included dinner, talk time, cuddling, kissing and about an hour of BCD activities that I would certainly define as GFE. Altogether 3 hours. Subsequent visit have been mixed varying from 30 min to several hours, including dinner, depending on my situation at the time. Again, always above expectations for my gift. I won't mention off the clock items I have done out of the goodness of my heart.

So, to the point of my post. What constitutes GFE from a lady? Is the gift? Time spent? Does it diminish with time? Bringing the subject up seemed to cause contention.

What's is you take? Thanks!

Good question! I consider myself a true GFE. I think GFE is a fantasy girlfriend experience. That includes lots of kissing,little kisses,big kisses,kisses in between whatever,cuddling,snuggling,te asing,touching,talking,laughin g,slow lovemaking. For me it's a little relationship in the confines of time allowed. Now the other day I had someone want to make an appointment with me. He named activities that I consider PSE - which I am not - so I told him - I'm a GFE and you are looking for a PSE - my goal is to make sure gentlemen who see me are assured of a great experience so I told him " I don't think you would have a good time with me so I recommended some other providers who provided PSE. And he was grateful.
I think finding a provider that likes the same things you do is a matter of communication. If the gentleman I mentioned above would of come over for a session and then I found out he wanted PSE activities then I would have to pretend to enjoy it and I don't like to pretend to enjoy something when I don't.
I have had long term clients on my GFE and it's always a great time for me - I hope it is for them as well.

Ellen, you pretty much described my definition of a GFE experience.

...activities that I consider PSE... Originally Posted by Austin Ellen

What were those, Ellen? Defining what GFE is can work from the other direction, by defining what is PSE.

For me, honest kissing as you mention -- not just the peck-and-promise -- should be part of GFE. OTOH, I always associate PSE with enhanced/over-the-top IOP, and getting through 18 positions as quickly as possible. (You can tell I've had much better experiences with GFE than PSE advertisers.)

Good post by Austin Ellen.


GFE is pretty commonly described as consisting of LFK, DFK, DATY, CFS, MSOG, BBBJ but I believe real GFE is more than just providing these services. Though I don't think a provider can be considered GFE without providing at least these services.



True GFE should truly be a Girlfriend like experience, i.e. she makes you feel welcome, wanted, desired, appreciated, makes you feel a bit special during your time together.

There should be a level of enthusiasm\passion (real or IOP) from the provider.


The best GFE providers maintain a high level of service on repeat visits, but sometimes it can diminish over time because they think they don't have to try as hard.

This can lead to a loss of a regular client, if the client is always paying well the level of service needs to be maintained or even raised. Some providers expect a tip for high level of service but the best tip a provider can get is a return client imho.


Imho, GFE is easier to get (and be maintained) from low volume providers.

With high volume providers they tend to get more mechanical and less enthusiastic as service can become a grind.

Imho, GFE is easier to get (and be maintained) from low volume providers.

With high volume providers they tend to get more mechanical and less enthusiastic as service can become a grind. Originally Posted by Tatonka

Good point.

"Illusion of Affection"

Imo, there should be no illusion of affection. That should be real, otherwise what's the point? Illusion of passion, I can understand. Not everyone is going to have great chemistry, but providers are kind if like healers, in my opinion. A lady should be capable of being affectionate and warm. Just my 2 cents

Well, the activity that he asked about was "opening my anus"
And then he wanted to "pound me" I liked to be caressed and petted. And I like to do the same to the other person.
Good discussion.

What were those, Ellen? Defining what GFE is can work from the other direction, by defining what is PSE.

For me, honest kissing as you mention -- not just the peck-and-promise -- should be part of GFE. OTOH, I always associate PSE with enhanced/over-the-top IOP, and getting through 18 positions as quickly as possible. (You can tell I've had much better experiences with GFE than PSE advertisers.) Originally Posted by TravelingTex

A lady should be capable of being affectionate and warm. Originally Posted by Nikki Famme

Agreed. I want to feel that from my provider. I just don't mind if she is faking it.

FWIW .. I have had great experiences .. going back to aspd. And the key has been how I feel during the communications. GFE can start with the communications during booking. It can also start with posts.

GFE isn't one thing. It's pretty much everything. The requisite acronyms are between the consulting adults. But my hobby date is about fantasy fulfillment. "Acting as if .." works for me.

I'll say this, when a provider indicates that she is a great kisser ... she has my attention. I have enjoyed the company of some wonderful ladies and had marvelous sessions. I'm grateful for that. I would dearly like to enjoy time with you, someday.

Imo, there should be no illusion of affection. That should be real, otherwise what's the point? Illusion of passion, I can understand. Not everyone is going to have great chemistry, but providers are kind if like healers, in my opinion. A lady should be capable of being affectionate and warm. Just my 2 cents Originally Posted by Nikki Famme

I think we are seeing some responses from hobbyist who are not connoisseurs of the GFE experience. Perhaps they only care for the physical pleasure, which is okay if that is their cup of tea.

Imho, GFE is easier to get (and be maintained) from low volume providers.

With high volume providers they tend to get more mechanical and less enthusiastic as service can become a grind. Originally Posted by Tatonka

+1 on this. IMHO, I agree that the few high volume providers that I've visited with tend to be a more mechanical. More of a PSE experience for me, which is ok at time.

These days, I prefer a GFE low-volume provider. They're very few and far between. I know I'm still paying them, but during our time, they are fully present and make me feel like I'm their number one priority.

I consider myself gfe with a touch of pse. I enjoy all of the gfe activities but enjoy some other activities that would be considered pse (DT, FF, CIM, COF, Dirty Talk, and light rough stuff like hair pulling etc.

I have always thought it was important for the gentlemen to express before the first meeting the things he enjoys or likes from a partner so everyone can be on the same page. I have asked so many guys this question and they all seem to not be able to answer truely what they enjoy and always seem to say I'm pretty vanilla. Like they can't tell me what really turns them on. Some people are very hard to read and I never want to try for something that arent into. Some guys dont like kissing or daty but still want the cuddling and the passion. Sometimes they leave certain activities to the SO as they find them more intimate with a partner.

I have had a few who expect gfe to mean bbfs sorry but that is not how it works atleast for me. You save that for your wife and girlfriends! I can give you the same experience with out uncovered fs. I love pleasing my partner and love it in return it shows that you see me as a partner and not just a service. I love bbbj I love seeing and feeling my partner experience the pleasures I'm giving him. I also love when he reciprocates with some daty. I love a guy who can take charge tell me how he wants me, what he wants me to do just as much as I will tell him to drop his pants and lay back and let me start with him. I love kissing but I do expect hygiene to be good, which unfortunately that is not always the case, I dont mind tongue but when you have excessive salivation or bite me etc it's a little bit of a turn off for me. GFE to me is not just activities.

To me gfe doesnt just happen with bcd activities it is the whole experience. Yes you can most definitely have GFE in the form of some great iop. GFE grows with multiple meeting not just within one date. Yes their is passion and fun but gfe is built. Through the laughs yall share, to the conversations, to the flow of the session, to the quick text on a birthday to the surprises that are offered (maybe a new toy, new lingerie, add a play partner, a special treat on your bday etc. These arent given on first dates as I like the passion etc to be earned. I love strange sex, meeting someone new and knowing nothing about them, but I also love sex with someone who I have gotten to know. Real passion and fun because I know what truly drives you crazy and what you can't get enough of. You know the same about me and what makes me weak in the knees.

I dont do many diners or dates out with my clients as I keep my private life very personal and they do the same. Many are married etc and I'm not really interested in a possible public awkward experience. I'm a gfe provider but I keep those activities for private bcd. I feel when you start going out to dinner, off the clock time etc you are then blurring the lines between a paid companion and dating. This is when things always go wrong, things get confused, feelings get hurt, signals are crossed and someone is left feeling like they have been played. Then you see some provider or hobbyist coming here to tell of some story how they caught feelings, helped some girl out but it didnt end right, the arrangement is not the same anymore etc.

If you are looking for a gf then you need to seek out a lady on a dating site, if you are looking for a more casual type situation with off the clock dinners etc and what not you seek a sugar baby. If you are looking for a girl who can be fun, show your a great time and knock your socks off without for the most part baggage or emotions you hire a professional. When you start crossing lines or getting to much in the feels your are forgetting this is a pay for play experience and nothing more. We have an amazing time for the time we are together and then we go our separate ways.

I've seen to many providers and hobbyists over the years who share to much stuff about one another, get to close, share to much time off the clock etc only to be burned in the end. Most the time the ladies expect guys to leave their wifes for them, want that happily ever after, guys who want to try to turn a whore in to a house wife a d it all ends in disaster. Outing happens, lives get ruined and simply some read way into the relationship then they should. I never understand why we can't keep things fun and simple and not try to change the whole pay for play thing.

Great points of view. Very different perspectives in several cases.

You guys have certainly had better "G" experiences with GFE than I have. For me, GFE means:
- Complaining that I don't treat her as well as she thinks she's worth
- Making me do everything (shopping, cleaning, mowing, etc.) while bitching about the fact that it takes me so long to do it, and then that I don't have enough time and energy to "treat her right"
- Spending my check as quickly as possible, and being upset that it isn't bigger
- Ensuring that my problems are mine, but her problems are also mine.
- Talking about how her last boyfriend was much more fun and exciting.
- Making it clear that I'm responsible for her happiness, but if I'm not happy, that's my problem, and an issue with my outlook/personality.

I could totally keep going, but you get the point.

Man...I'll take IOP and PSE anytime. You guys can keep your GFE.