Provider Turn-Offs

Throughout my years of hobbying I've run-into some things during sessions with providers that have killed-the-mood for me, I guess I'll call them "Provider Turn-Offs". For some reason, I was thinking about some of these this morning and thought I'd list them.

1. bad Smells (her breath, body, underarms, hair, feet, coochie)

2. her cell phone ringing, or constantly ringing and she won't turn it off after it's known she left it on, or her taking a non-emergency call anytime during our appt

3. gets up to go do something in the bathroom during any activity or asking if she can have a quick cigarette break (yes both have happened)

4. seeing me during her time of month, and not telling me and booking me, and letting me discover that on my own. yes, i've seen a string hanging-out before from a well-known provider and won't say who.

5. any evidence around that another man has been there, makes me feel icky

6. visible trash can in a corner full of wipes and condom wrappers

7. her laughing about anything during sex

8. her expecting me to go-down on her after fucking but she won't do the same

9. mis-matched panty and bra colors (a personal pet peeve that turns me off)

10. pets lingering around in the bedroom while we're getting busy. can't cats keep themselves busy somewhere else?

11. animals whinning, crying, barking while we're trying to get busy

12. passionless, robotic, i'm not into this, sex with a provider

13. providers that insist the lights must be turned out and the room almost pitch black. what does she not want me to see, and if it's that bad, then my mind is thinking about that and not what we should be doing. ends-up killing the mood for me. fyi - i'm a lights fully on kind of guy. the more i see, the more i get turned-on

14. providers that say "so what you wanna do", can't we discover that together without me giving directions. i compare this to someone asking what you want for x-mas. i'd rather it be a surprise. hint, if a girl beomes a little proactive, gets me worked-up and into her, then i'm up for anything.

15. providers that lack imagination, lay there like a dead fish, and don't take charge a little bit (related to above). i prefer an appt in which it's 50-50 with regards to us both taking turns initiating activities. less is ok, but don't just lay there waiting for me to bark-out orders.

16. providers that immediately ask that we both strip down. come on, can't we rub on each other first, get each other hot, enjoy undressing each other, and make it a GFE type of thing.

17. providers that don't maintain eye contact. those that look at the wall, ceiling, or keep their eyes closed too much, really turn me off.

18. providers that start immediately getting dressed after I nut, especially if we've still got time on the clock!

19. her taking calls or checking voice mail, before I've left, or immediately after i nut, and my time still isn't up!

20. not asking if I'm allergic to cats, and her incall being at her home, full of cats everywhere, and cat hair all over her bed where my face is going to be close to it!

21. her being sick, or getting over a cold, constantly coughing, sneezing, or runny nose, and I'm suppose to get GFE and do LK/DFK with that?

22. meeting me at the door in just a towel or bathrobe. maybe its a personal thing, but i'd rather it be lingerie or street clothes with lingerie underneath.

23. her bed being unmade and giving the feeling that "she just f**ked someone in it 5 min before I got here". yes, I know she probably did, but I don't want to be thinking about it.

24. several visible "donation envelopes" laying around and/or in the trash. again, do i really want to think about how many guys she's seen that day?

25. visible gifts on display that other guys brought her that day (i.e. a vase full of roses, liquor bottle with a bow on it, etc)

26. dirty feet, especially if the bottoms of the feet are black

27. tissue fuzz balls left on her coochie from her cleaning it, and even worse, my only way to discover them was on my tongue, because she insisted the room be dimmed or dark.

28. her going to pee before we get started, and you hear the flush, but you don't hear any sink water afterwards to wash her hands, and she's out the door 2 seconds after the flush. my first thought is "damn, if she didn't wash her hands, did she even clean the pee from her coochie, and if she doesn't clean-up good after peeing, does she clean-up at all inbetween customers"?

29. provider with hickey marks on her neck. i don't wanna be kissing on a girl, while marks from where another dude "staked his claim" are starring at me.

All of these have happened during appts and many are why I won't go back to certain providers. Are there any others some of you guy have encountered?

Personnally, when asked or told what is off limits and they talk about things in detail that I'm not into like golden showers and scat games, I won't be going back.

Saying I just got out of jail from a BP bust might not be the best thing to tell a hobbiest.

Providing an incall at a location that is just plain scary and gives me the feeling that I should be carrying when in the area.

Having out of date pictures or incorrect descriptions is reason enough to be drop from my list.

Damn that's a long list.

Personnally, when asked or told what is off limits... Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

I forgot about that one, it's happened to me several times and certainly kills the mood for me too.

Damn that's a long list. Originally Posted by SP Hunter

Lol, yeah my expectations are kind of high, and i've known that for years, which is a major reason why i like being single.

WOW! It blows me away to read these lists! How do those girls stay in business? Wow!

Sorry you've had bad experiences...

Any talk of drugs (even mj) and I won't be back.

No offense to SP, but I'd rather not talk with a provider who's a size queen and would even bring up another hobbiests size while I'm in the room. I'm comfy with what I got, but it's a little daunting when a subtle comparison is made.

I have encountered ALL of Bushaholic's comments except 9,24, 25 and 29.
Not necessarily turnoffs for me, but certainly should not come up.
Number 7, if I said something funny I hope she does laugh.
bigtom62

...Sorry you've had bad experiences... Originally Posted by vnurse

Thanks, sadly I rarely see providers much anymore, cuz 1-out-of-about-every-2 times I've seen one, some issue or multiple issues, on that list come up. I've found that if I bang strippers in SC's instead, a lot of those issues don't happen, lol. Having said that, I'm fully aware there are pluses and minuses to whichever way a guy wants to hobby. But part of why I even thought about those things today is because I'm kind of leaning towards getting into seeing providers again soon, so I can experience more GFE, taking-our-time, kind of experiences. I guess I was kind of weighing out the pros and cons of each in my head.

Any talk of drugs (even mj) and I won't be back. Originally Posted by Crossroads

Agreed, or even the lingering smell of it is a buzz kill for me.

No offense to SP, but I'd rather not talk with a provider who's a size queen and would even bring up another hobbiests size while I'm in the room. I'm comfy with what I got, but it's a little daunting when a subtle comparison is made. Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

yep, i've encountered that one too and it kills the mood for me. i don't want to be thinking that she's an expert in comparing men's d**ks, cuz it makes me wonder how many she's seen (i dont wanna be thinking that), and if she's seen tons of them (another icky thought for me), and then i start wondering what she thinks of mine, or if she's being truthful about mine. best not to even go there imho.

I have encountered ALL of Bushaholic's comments except 9,24, 25 and 29. Not necessarily turnoffs for me, but certainly should not come up. Number 7, if I said something funny I hope she does laugh. bigtom62 Originally Posted by bigtom62

wow, so it's not just me that's run into a lot of the things on that list!

No offense to SP, but I'd rather not talk with a provider who's a size queen and would even bring up another hobbiests size while I'm in the room. I'm comfy with what I got, but it's a little daunting when a subtle comparison is made. Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

Doesn't bother me either way, I've been told xxx is as you or damn xxx could use some of your dick.

Damn, Bushaolic, you've had a hard hoe to row (I mean, a hard row to hoe), man!

A thing that stopped me once may surprise some, but the gal was just too damn young looking (it was a print only ad). It was like a curtain dropped on my feelings of anticipation. I just walked away.

Otherwise, I did manage to muddle through once with a gal who smelled like a brewery and who kept asking, "When you gonna stick it in?", and it was already "in"!

I think laughing during sex (if it is at the right time) can be GREAT!

"HA! HA! (pointing finger) your cock doesn't hold a candle to SP".....not good

"Ha! Ha Tony Romo is a great quarterback......good

Damn, Bushaolic, you've had a hard hoe to row (I mean, a hard row to hoe), man! Originally Posted by injectorman

Lol, I think maybe its cuz I've done way too much hobbying for too many years

I think laughing during sex (if it is at the right time) can be GREAT! Originally Posted by Spikebaby

Agreed, "the right time" is key, but out of the blue without any reason during a BJ, DATY, or while hittin it from behind in K9, might imho effect a guys concentration.

Doesn't bother me either way, I've been told xxx is as you or damn xxx could use some of your dick. Originally Posted by SP Hunter

I've had several providers tell me various versions of this joke:

A man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got a problem, but if you're going to treat it, first you've got to promise not to laugh."

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," the man said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor has ever seen. Unable to control himself, the doctor fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen."

theres really nothing on my list that is not posted already.

and theres alot of other stuff i never really think about that i now will have to consider haha