Whore - own it or disown it?

Dev Null's Avatar
We've all seen the word "whore" bandied about in the Austin forum. Personally, I enjoy the company of females who enjoy trading favors in the traditional way, and I can identify with their motivations and interests.

But I feel that the word "whore" is demeaning. In addition, maybe there are legal implications, since it's one thing to leave a gift with the assumption that intimate favors will be forthcoming, and another thing to make an actual pay to play transaction.

I won't go into all the reasons that I find the term demeaning and possibly incriminating. Everyone has their own experience, so feel free to express your point of view.

My experience has been that religion is a key indicator. So when I see anyone bandying the word "whore" about, I kind of subconsciously assume that there is a thinly veiled agenda.

I could be wrong, and I'm not not going to argue the point vigorously if at all. I just thought that there might be some value in discussing the topic, if there is any interest.
I have watched some of my good provider friends have breakdowns over the way we get talked to and about. The way some of the men on this board treat, talk to & about us has effected a lot of us.
. Someone said something to the effect of providers being scared to say anything or stand up for ourselves. He seemed to enjoy that perceived power, which makes him weak in my eyes. Providing doesn't make a lot of us feel guilty. It's the abusiveness/entitlement/trolling etc. that systematically breaks some of us down. But I don't give a fuck anymore. I speak up. There's no excuse for people to treat each other or talk to one another in such a way that it breaks you down. Shit if I wanted that I'd go remarry my ex!

I find the mentality, trolling and entitlement to be abusive, cold, demeaning and akin to kicking a puppy or deliberately trying to break your soul then throwing some $ at you like you are being paid to be dehumanized. It's just a way for unhappy cowards to overcompensate for his own insecurities and secret rage he couldn't get away with in real life. Who knows... Maybe these guys had mommy dearest for a mother and this is the only way they feel they can get back at women. Yep. Being called a whore is not something most people hear at their jobs. IDK. People can be sick fuckers sometimes. Maybe ECCIE needs an on call shrink to deal with all the personality disorders amongst other things!!

This whore is over & out!!!
JohnnyYanks's Avatar
Goody, another whore versus provider -- "No, I am a courtesan and will be treated as such!" -- name calling threAD. Maybe you could start another NBA threAD too?
Dictionary.com:

Whore-a prostitute.
verb
1.
(of a woman) work as a prostitute.

Escort-verb
iˈskôrt/
1.
accompany (someone or something) somewhere, especially for protection or security, or as a mark of rank.

Prostitute
noun
1.
a person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.
synonyms: call girl, whore; More
verb
1.
offer (someone) for sexual activity in exchange for payment.

We carry the meanings that we give to things.
Precious_b's Avatar
As long as the person brandying about the word refers to themselves with like adjective (If a woman, calling herself the same, or a guy using Pidgeon,Marker, John, etc.) I have no problem with it.
Dev Null's Avatar
The actual experience - guys like me leave money on the dresser. Women, aka human beings, who expect guys like me to leave money on the dresser go on to fuck our brains out. Does that really make someone a whore? Maybe so depending on your definitition. Do you choose to call yourself a whore? Do you self-define as such? Do you ask me to call me your dirty cum slut? Personally I can get off either way. I kind of prefer getting off to another person who is engaged in the process, but maybe that is variable.
Dev Null's Avatar
I have watched some of my good provider friends have breakdowns over the way we get talked to and about. The way some of the men on this board treat, talk to & about us has effected a lot of us.
! Originally Posted by The Infamous One
That's just sad. Your choices and behavior are what they are.

If hobbyists like me were in the same position as you, we'd probably make the same choices as you. And if we're honest, we'd probably make the same trade-offs, although maybe with a lot less risk.

And putting myself in your place, it might be kind of fun to cut loose in that way. Or maybe it would be a calculate risk/reward type of thing. Either way, you have earned my respect.
It takes two to Tango. Providers and hobbyists. We have symbiotic relationship and should respect each other, as others outside the hobby do not like any of us. We shouldn't be name calling--Hello Mr. Pot, Meet Mr. Kettle--you're both black.
Dev Null's Avatar
Goody, another whore versus provider -- "No, I am a courtesan and will be treated as such!" -- name calling threAD. Maybe you could start another NBA threAD too? Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks
No, not a threAD. As the OP, I'm a pure unabashed hobbyist who just has a problem with all of the name calling asshole behavior here. Call me a white knight if calling names is your thing.

And I call bullshit on you, since the original post was about whether or not it's cool to call whore. Please feel free to agree or disagree, but please comment on the original post or go back the fuck where you came from.
Sometimes I use "provider" and "escort" or even "companion" somewhat interchangeably. There are some that assert that each word has a drastically different meaning, which may correlate to supposed variations in rate structure, what/how much is offered in terms of services, and (lack of) perceived class. A lot of the classist assumptions relating to these different definitions are rubbish in my opinion.

That said, when it comes to "whore" I'm only okay with being called that by others who identify in the same way. Meaning if another sex worker, especially another full service provider, fixes their lips to call themselves or me "whore" I won't feel a way. When men use it as a pejorative, I don't fuck with it in the same way I don't hold space for other non consensual and abusive actions whether they be physical, emotional, or verbal.

In my opinion, "whore" can either be a term of endearment/ express mutual solidarity or it can be used in a verbally abusive manner depending on the context, power dynamics, and who is saying it.
Omnivor's Avatar
Lena, I think you have a good grasp of what I think matters. A word is just a tool that you use to communicate. It's the attitude and feeling with which a word like this is used that makes it either harmless and even endearing, or awful and demeaning.
David.Douchehurst's Avatar
Ah'm an attenshun whore an' Ah owns it, but Ah'm willin' ta rent it out fer tha right price!
3daygetaway's Avatar
Dev Null, I want to grow up and be like you. Respect, sir, respect.

Whore is as offensive as N***** (staff edit; ztonk) and everyone knows it; there's no grey area. If you use it, you might as well be burning a cross in someone's yard. Except, the Ku wore sheets to hide their identity when they showed up; you keyboard assholes don't even have to show up to throw your shade.

Maybe you whore-callers think you sound like Gus and Woodrow, but this ain't Lonesome Dove. Unless you want to embody this line from Captain Call “I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.”And those who tolerate it, maybe our line is “You know how it works, Jake. You ride with the outlaw, you die with the outlaw. Sorry, you crossed the line.”
Smpslt7's Avatar
Guys, Please show the ladies some respect. There are millions of women in this world that wouldn't fuck the likes of you or me no matter how much you offer them. So for those of you ladies that will, you have my undying love, respect and gratitude. And I mean that. 😘
There are so many posts that I love in this thread 😘