left without service...any advice?

Hey guys and gals,

I just left a provider's incall with my donation and without any service. I'd like to ask what, if anything, I did wrong or could have done better.

I'm a noob. I recently did some reading on this site about le to try and make sure I am hobbying as safely as possible. I think all the research did was scare me, which could be a good or a bad thing. I've only hobbied twice and am new to this site. Don't have any references. I've mainly used backpage.

Today, I contacted a provider who has one review:

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=246082

She does absolutely no screening. I show up at her incall and a very attractive girl in lingerie answers the door. We go back to her room and chat for a minute, and then she tells me to get comfortable. However, she has said nothing about the donation and she is not getting herself more "comfortable." I take off my shoes but stop there since she is just sitting there. She notes that I've stopped and I tell her that I am new to this and am a bit nervous. She tells me that she provides full service. I ask her if she wouldn't mind showing me a little something to put me at ease, and she says she doesn't give anything away for free. At this point, I can't think of any way to move forward without incriminating myself if she is in fact le, so I apologize for the waste of time and opt to leave. I've heard le won't let you leave if it is a sting, so I brace myself in case I am stopped at the door or at my car, but of course nothing happens.

I know it is not easy for the guys or the gals, but if she would have even just flashed me I would have felt comfortable staying. I did not feel comfortable that her strategy seemed to be get me fully naked first and then I suppose ask for my donation. What could I have done better? Thanks!

I just thought...is it possible she didn't want to have to ask for the donation and was not will to do anything until it was out and visible? In my other experiences the donation was just requested up front, which I did not mind.

Wrap the donation around your manhood. Then nothing needs to be said.

Flashed you??? Jesus Christ.

Just curious--what would a 'flash' have proven to you? That she did in fact have female genitalia, and was not a man? Because it certainly won't prove anything else.

You should be sure enough about the girl you're about to see that you have no reservations about laying your money down the minute you walk in the door and shedding all of your clothes. That means research research research!

I saw a newbie the other day. He knew EVERYTHING about me there was to know, plus he knew everything about most of the other providers in my area. I also screened him WELL. After all of his research he had no hesitation in laying down his envelope and sitting down to start with a chat.

I would have turned you around and told you to march right out the door if you had treated me that way.

Research until you find someone with such a good reputation that you would trust with your real life info. If you can't a trust a provider that much, you have no business showing up at her random hotel and trying to make an illegal transaction with her.

For the life of me I will never understand how a guy can show up at a random hotel room with a wad of cash thinking it's more likely he's going to be robbed or arrested than leave satisfied.

This thread should answer several of your questions
http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=178982

You are in Austin and ended up on BP? With as many verified and well-reviews ladies on Eccie?

Thank you Lily and Chica.

Clearly, my line of thinking, however naive, was that a le would probably be unwilling to expose herself. Forgive me, as there is a mountain of info to potentially climb as a newbie to hobby. I try to be a gentleman, and I did not ask her as in "Hey baby, show me some tits!" As politely as one could ask this, I asked, "Could you maybe show me a little something to put me at ease?" I've read that some guys say they do this while others say le is willing to show some skin. Clearly, it ain't fool proof.

Lily, you would have never had to show me to the door because I can see that you have a great reputation on eccie and I would not have been uncomfortable at your incall. I've never been screened but perhaps your screening process would have put us both at ease.

"For the life of me I will never understand how a guy can show up at a random hotel room with a wad of cash thinking it's more likely he's going to be robbed or arrested than leave satisfied."

You mostly right (didn't think it was more likely that I would be arrested), but part of the reason it might be hard to understand is that we *are* guys. We have the potential to do pretty stupid things when we start thinking with the wrong head. I realized today I need to be more cautious. Thanks for the input!

You should always expect to take care of donation up front. Some women have a way preference on how they prefer the donation is handled. In which case, they will have mentioned something on their website.

For most that do not: Before you arrive, have your donation counted and ready to go in plain unsealed envelope. Shorty after entering her room, place the envelope on her nightstand/dresser without mentioning it. She will likely notice. At some point, she may excuse herself to inspect (count) while you are getting comfortable. Regardless, you should be good to go.

... I am hobbying as safely as possible. Originally Posted by DiabloDeLuna

If that is your goal and since you are in Austin, you might want to join P411 and get screened.
To start with, you can select providers that use P411 that are a) newbie friendly (no references) and b) have several (>4) reviews with Yes recommendations.

No, flashing does nothing, nor does anything else you might do in the room to "ensure" that you aren't caught in a sting. If you're caught, then you're caught. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

The goal is to be sure loooooooong before you show up at a lady's incall that she's safe, your type, provides the services you desire, and you know just about exactly how a date with the lady will go. Playing in the hobby does not need to be a shady, scary, cheap motel kind of dirty liaison.

Also, I'm always a big fan of newbies joining P411.

Lily, I like the way you think, spot on.

DDL, once you know the lady you are seeing and get there, simply lay the envelope/cash on a dresser/table/bathroom counter without comment or fanfare. The best thing to do is greet the lady, then excuse yourself to the bathroom and leave the donation plainly visible there. While you are getting comfortable, she will excuse herself where she can verify it. Eliminates that uncomfortable moment where she wants/needs to count it in front of you. Then its game on!

No, flashing does nothing, nor does anything else you might do in the room to "ensure" that you aren't caught in a sting. If you're caught, then you're caught. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. In stead: pay (and way more than $200!)

The goal is to be sure loooooooong before you show up at a lady's incall that she's safe, your type, provides the services you desire, and you know just about exactly how a date with the lady will go. Playing in the hobby does not need to be a shady, scary, cheap motel kind of dirty liaison. Originally Posted by Lily Blair

Totally agree, if screening is done right the donation or LE check will be the VERY LAST thing on your mind.
Having a great time together should be the ONLY thing you are thinking about.

I saw one newbie. He saw my webpage. He new that I was not newbie friendly and what i required. He started 411 acct. He started eccie. He then saw 2 highly respectable providers.

Now.. as a newbie.. He did a LOT of research on me as well. He read every one of my reviews and even pm'd the men that did them. He also asked advice from fellow hobbyist as to what is typically expect when arriving.... as in donation, etc.

I suggest breaking your hobby cherry with a well known highly respectable provider from eccie/411 research her, ask around. THAT will ease your LE fears and things will go with the flow when you arrive. Also pay attention to her profile page or webpage because it usually clearly states somewhere the routine that she requests.. such as where and how to put donation.

In her defense.. yes she should had screened! But, even with proper screening we as woman have to hear if this gentleman is LE or rapist or murderer. So when things do not go smoothly.. fear and paranoia are sure to take over and nothing is going to come out of it positively.

I was in your shoes a few months ago, but I did my research on whom I wanted to see and read alot of information here before I made my first visit.

One of the common things I have read is to have the payment in a white envelope and place it either in the bathroom or on a counter. Some like it labeled 'gift', some dont.

The SP will never discuss money either on here or in person. Just read their showcase and their website, if they have one, to answer all your questions.

Keep trying and have fun.

Diablo, you did the right thing by leaving. While some would call it a silly newbie mistake, the way I see it:

1. She didn't screen. That's a big no-no on a provider's part. That means she is careless or new, or is forced to perform no matter what by someone.

2. She said "she doesn't give anything away for free." Sounds like a hustler to me. If she's not going to do the cop test, so common in many cities and flash you a tit, she's probably going to give you crappy service.

3. She didn't ask for the donation up front? Well, she's obviously not LE. And this conflicts with my hustler theory....so maybe she's in an altered state of mind? Something is very odd here.

You just saved yourself some cash and a crappy session.

But Diablo, do not listen to any providers that tell you not to pay attention to your instincts when your senses tell you to walk away. Most providers will advise you to be less cautious, because it's their money and they're all on the same side.

But Diablo, do not listen to any providers that tell you not to pay attention to your instincts when your senses tell you to walk away. Most providers will advise you to be less cautious, because it's their money and they're all on the same side. Originally Posted by Monte Cito

Following your gut is a number one rule in my book.

Please dont categorize all. Many providers are great and screen quite well. Dont let the few bad apples be grouped with the good ones. I didnt see anyone say be less cautious. But if you dont do your own research and show up without a clue, it makes everyone nervous.
I have had several that were nervous because it was our first time together... BUT they knew the routine and the nerves were not of LE or being ripped off, rather just first date nervousness.
I will tell you, if you dont research and learn MY routine (which is the same as many others) and we spend the first 15 minutes with him sitting there scared like a little boy, you may as well leave and take donation with you...
My best advice- see someone who is newbie friendly and who DOES screen. STAY OFF BP. Eccie and 411 has some very fun, very respectable, newbie friendly gals who can knock your socks off. They screen intensely. Having a BP only girl as a reference wont get you very far. Having a respectable reference friendly provider will help ease your fears.

Again, I'm curious as to what good this "cop test" does? Is it presumed that if she is a cop, she will not flash you and you will simply walk back to your car and drive away? Is it also presumed that cops won't let you touch them? I'm just trying to understand the logic here, because it really makes absolutely no sense. I mean, why dont you ask her to stand on one foot and scratch her head to make sure she isn't a rooster?

And no one said not to listen to your instincts. In fact you should definitely follow your instincts, BEFORE you ever arrive. Doing so after the fact is called hindsight, not instinct.