God bless Texas !!!

Deleted.0n the account of stupid

Fuck me good [/quote]

I'm ready to

Hmmm.... Aren't things bigger in Texas?

Egos and wallets

What about big hair?

..... well since we're talkin' bout Texas ....


A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, "Yes ma'am, ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a complete outfit."
Well, her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where he would like to start?"
"Well ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes sir, what size?"
"Size 53 ... tall, ma'am."
"Wow, that's really big."
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?" she asked.
He replied, "How about some shoes."
"What size?"
"Size 15 ... double D."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?"
"Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt."
"Yes sir, what size?"
"Nineteen and a half ... 38," he replied.
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
She virtually glowed as she asked, "Whew ... is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No ma'am , I reckon that will be all."
Well she tallied up his bill while the Texan was counting out his money. She asked, "Sir could I ask you a question?"
"Yes ma'am, I already know what it is and the answer is four inches."
She is astonished and blurts out, "Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!"
Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied, "Across ma'am?"

Hmmm.... Aren't things bigger in Texas? Originally Posted by Wicket

Beer bellies that keep you from seeing your feet.

..... well since we're talkin' bout Texas ....


A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, "Yes ma'am, ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a complete outfit."
Well, her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where he would like to start?"
"Well ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes sir, what size?"
"Size 53 ... tall, ma'am."
"Wow, that's really big."
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?" she asked.
He replied, "How about some shoes."
"What size?"
"Size 15 ... double D."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?"
"Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt."
"Yes sir, what size?"
"Nineteen and a half ... 38," he replied.
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
She virtually glowed as she asked, "Whew ... is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No ma'am , I reckon that will be all."
Well she tallied up his bill while the Texan was counting out his money. She asked, "Sir could I ask you a question?"
"Yes ma'am, I already know what it is and the answer is four inches."
She is astonished and blurts out, "Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!"
Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied, "Across ma'am?" Originally Posted by PAPA JOE

change that to Florida and you're pretty close..... I wear a 54 Tall suit and only size 14 shoes lol

BIG In TEXAS... I got your BIG!

A guy from "Arkansas" was driving through Texas and stopped at a hotel. After checking in he walked across the street to the local bar. He sat down and ordered a beer. The bar tender brings him a beer and it’s about a gallon mug. The guy from "Arkansas" says what the hell is this? Bar keep says "That’s a TEXAS Sized beer." The guy smiles and starts drinking away. The guy from "Arkansas" then orders a shot of Jack Daniels. The bar keep brings him a large water glass full of Jack. The guy from "Arkansas" asks again, "What the hell is this?" Bar keep says that a TEXAS shot. He drinks about half of the Jack and decides to order a sandwich. The bar keep brings him a deli sandwich the size of a full loaf of French bread. The guy from Arkansas" say oh my god... you must be kidding me?! The bar keep says "Ya everything here in Texas is "BIG". Well the Arkansas guy had drunk about half the beer and half the Jack, so he needed to go to the bath room. Bar keep says down the hall, last door on the right. The Arkansas" guy goes to the end of the hall.. but instead turns "LEFT". He walks out and falls in the pool! Everyone in the bar heard him screaming... "DON'T FLUSH IT, DON'T FLUSH IT!"