When your provider ref is rude beyond words

Kayleehotchick's Avatar
Hi there guy and gals,

As a hobbyist, would you want to know if a provider you used as a ref, is OFF THE CHART rude about giving ref's to other providers?

I've screened a few guys this week and one provider was down right mean about it. I haven't told the hobbyist about it but MAN WAS SHE MEAN!!!


So what is your feed back on this topic? Would you want to know if your provider ref's is being bitchy giving you ref?
Jules Jaguar's Avatar
I also have had the same issues... Usually i will chalk it up to the provider having a bad day but i am curious to know what the guys think about this.
Kayleehotchick's Avatar
Me too. I admit I have missed a pm or e-mail asking for a ref and it's never on purpose but to be rude to another provider is out of the question for me.
corona's Avatar
IMO, I would leave it up to you to decide. If she's being just unreasonably bitchy, I think I would want to know. It would make me reconsider seeing her again, that's for sure. We're kinda all in this together, no reason to be jerks to one another.
sounds like professional jealousy to me and the gal is mad because she isn't getting the money and you are
Jessica Jade's Avatar
I don't care how bad of a day she was having, us providers are supposed to be there for each other and have each others' back so there's no need for rudeness. Just my 2 cents. Sorry that happened to you.
Kayleehotchick's Avatar
What I mean by this thread is if the provider is being USUALLY bitchy and mean about it. Granted, some providers are a little rude but this one was CRAZY, like something I've never seen before.

Someone get the girl some chocolate and a glass of wine kind of mean.
Yes, I would definitely want to know. On the flip side, it's also nice to hear when a reference is nice. I had a new acquaintance tell me recently that one if my refs had nice things to say about me and it made me want to see her soon as a thank you (not that I needed a reason to see her again) but it made me want to do it as soon as possible. I have not had the chance yet due to my crazy schedule, but when I do, I will express my aporeciation and she'll probably get a tip. She knows I cannot see her all the time due to distance, so I appreciate that she is willing to help me have fun.
Yes, I want to know when/if that happens. Same thing with a failure to respond to reference requests.

Send the info straight to me and I will deal with it.

Luckily, I don't think that will ever happen with anyone I see. They've all been great. But if it does, let me be the one to put the offending party on blast.

The forgoing said, I'll also consider the credibility of the person reporting the rude response before jumping to any conclusions. Believe it or not, some folks around here sometimes exaggerate things a lil' bit (shocking , I know....).
Some of the reason is because many of the new providers have no idea about the hole screening process. So they do not know what a provider reference is. They have some guy in a wife beater chain smoking and drinking PBR. Doing all there scheduling. Saw a provider who has never even been on ECCIE let alone even read her own adds or showcase.
So that rude provider could have been the guy in the wife beater running his little stable from the front seat of his Cadillac. Just my opinion can't say if it is fact or fiction just saying.
Long as between her talking to herself and bouncing off the walls, she tell you I'm OK! I don't give a shit. Chances are I already know she's a nut bag
Yes - I would like to know if a provider that I have seen is over-the-top bitchy, crazy, rude or all of the above.
DallasDoc's Avatar
Yes, it would be good to know.
whitechocolate's Avatar
I certainly would want to know any rude behavior.
I agree that there are a lot of new providers who dont understand the need for a team approach among providers
I also agree that jealously may enter into their response.
No excuse to ever be rude to one another.
Roger.Smith's Avatar
If the hobbyist informed said provider that he would be using her as a reference, then the chick is completely out of line. Excuses are bullshit. As a client I would definititely want to know if my reference was Looney Tunes .

Now if she had no idea someone would be calling, or doesn't to put 2 and 2 together quickly, then there could be tons of reasons for the flip-out. As a client, I would still want to know. I don't see it any different than any other time someone is vouching for you.