This is getting annoying

Why am I catching so much grief from so many members of ECCIE lately when I ask for references? "I've been around for such and such years, I don't need 'em." "I've been "hobbying" for years, I don't need to give you references." OK fine...you don't need to give me references, that's your prerogative. But, it's also my prerogative to refuse you an appointment. And when I do refuse an appointment, I shouldn't be insulted or degraded which has happened on more than one occasion.

You really should think twice about seeing a provider that doesn't even bother to ask you for references, because it isn't smart for either party.

/end rant

Was this a rhetorical question? A rant? Venting? Or did you want serious replies?

All of the above. I'd prefer non-dickish replies...if that's even possible.

I don't like to give references but if I wanted to see you I would. Any gentleman wouldn't say they've been around so long they don't need to, though it might be reasonable for them to ask you to look their reviews over.

I have found that verified ECCIE providers often waive the references requirement for ECCIE members who have reviews. However, I never expect this waiver, and have no problem providing references when requested. It's just a normal part of the process.

Brasil, I have done that in the past. I guess I should of been more clear...it's the members that don't write reviews and then refuse to give a reference that I have a problem with. Again, it's your choice to refuse to give me a reference, but it's also my right to refuse an appointment...and I shouldn't be harassed or insulted in choosing to do so. It's not personal. Why make it personal?

I have found that verified ECCIE providers often waive the references requirement for ECCIE members who have reviews. However, I never expect this waiver, and have no problem providing references when requested. It's just a normal part of the process. Originally Posted by brasil

Ditto.

Yes, any gentleman would ask what is YOUR preferred screening method, and within reason, if he is a gentleman and truly wants to see you, will comply. Again, with reasonable screening requests.
Only you can decide what works for you as far as screening, it is important that you feel comfortable and safe.
An established eccie account with many reviews and posts, sure that's all fine and dandy, but I still prefer to actually seek the references because these posts and reviews are a representation of themselves, by them. I feel it's still best to get a woman's honest opinion. And then you run into the problem of men who write fake reviews, although it doesn't happen often it does happen and I have had it happen to me where a man wrote a review of a lady, I contacted her for a reference and she said she had never seen him! Glad I checked and didn't see him blindly based upon his review!

Brasil, I have done that in the past. I guess I should of been more clear...it's the members that don't write reviews and then refuse to give a reference that I have a problem with. Again, it's your choice to refuse to give me a reference, but it's also my right to refuse an appointment...and I shouldn't be harassed or insulted in choosing to do so. It's not personal. Why make it personal? Originally Posted by MargeauxMe

And when they go there, with the insults, you know you made the right decision in the first place.
Stay safe

I won't provide references unless the reviews for the provider are off the chart. Just a big pain in the ass. I seem to also get follow ups from girls I use as a reference who wonder when I'm gonna come and visit them again. On top of that my frequency of hobbying has been waning (once every two months) so again it's a pain in the ass to get the provider to remember who I was and then stay on top of them to return a text. On top of that I'm more if a spur of the moment type guy and don't want to wait days for references to check out. So I guess I expect the providers to take all the risk and see me based on my eccie history and reviews. If not there are others who will.

^^ Honest answer

Disregard my earlier comment. I didn't see your second post. However in the interest of helping you, in all honesty you do come off as a bit of a snot in your posts. It may be possible that you come off the same way on the phone and that you are at least partially to blame for these rude exchanges.

Why am I catching so much grief from so many members of ECCIE lately when I ask for references? "I've been around for such and such years, I don't need 'em." "I've been "hobbying" for years, I don't need to give you references." OK fine...you don't need to give me references, that's your prerogative. But, it's also my prerogative to refuse you an appointment. And when I do refuse an appointment, I shouldn't be insulted or degraded which has happened on more than one occasion.

You really should think twice about seeing a provider that doesn't even bother to ask you for references, because it isn't smart for either party.

/end rant Originally Posted by MargeauxMe

They can ask, but should not insult or degrade you if you say NO.

At this time, I will not see one that asks for them or even uses them. Unless I all ready know her.

Brasil, I have done that in the past. I guess I should of been more clear...it's the members that don't write reviews and then refuse to give a reference that I have a problem with. Again, it's your choice to refuse to give me a reference, but it's also my right to refuse an appointment...and I shouldn't be harassed or insulted in choosing to do so. It's not personal. Why make it personal? Originally Posted by MargeauxMe

yup
I wonder how many of them are 2nd handles.

Guys also should ask "can I use you as a reference to see..." but do not.

I can understand why some providers use references, and why others will not.
I can understand why some guys use references, and why others will not.

This has happened to me more than once.
I meet a provider at small M&G, no bcd time. Then latter I get asked "why are you using me as a reference to see...". May I repeat, at this time I will not give references at all.

LOL. I am the furtherest thing from a snot..if you read my reviews you will see I am 100% attitude free. Exactly what did I say that makes me snotty?

And when they go there, with the insults, you know you made the right decision in the first place.
Stay safe Originally Posted by ToriStarr

yup

But why insult a gal that will not buy into that system. Or finds it is no longer safe to use references.