dear abby...advice

bored@home's Avatar
It seems dilemmas are a bit popular this week so here's mine. My SO has been hanging with a new gf for a bit. They eventually got me to start tagging along. On our first face to face I had the feeling of "knowing" her from somewhere, non bcd or the like, just familiar. Well some time has passed and we hang out more and more as a trio. No biggie except various commonalities keep working their way into conversations. Abbreviations, popular hotels and common locations etc. I have been good at playing dumb but slipped a time or two but covered quickly.
All has been a bit passivly suspicious until recently.
We are in the process of our trio going on a trip so been meeting more and more, still the three of us. No detail but the last two "probes" had set off the internal silent alarms. I've looked all over my common stomping grounds and came up empty so eased back.
Finished booking the trip and had dinner out. While at dinner the convo gravitated back toward men she has met online "men out there are crafty", "like guys lie about there locations and age", "some guys have awesome spouses and wild side lives"...I'm thinking are these just generalizations or fairly accurate shots across the bow? So i offer back some placated advice about privacy and people being people and move the topic along toward the trip. The next minute trips the red alert alarm.
She goes to show me a excursion item she wants to do on the trip except the page is pulled up to the main page of an old haunt. She then takes the phone back and says maybe she has to login. Heart rate on the increase but staying calm. Secretly she closes the tab to reveal a true trip excursion site and hands to the SO. Panic begining to manifest internally but instant relief as I see the non incriminating excursions page.
Later after she has head home I login to the forgotten site and yeah we chatted briefly in the past. Nothing further than a few gtky type questions and pg13 banter. The hitch tough is my pic there is not overtly clear but enough that I'm pretty sure she at minimum strongly suspects its me...time to cover more tracks and stat!

My pic has been modified now and enough details are vague or flat bogus. Im thinking I might be in the clear until I get a message about the fun times were going to have when we set a date...cool.. until the next line reads to the tune of keep a clean nose to stay out of trouble.

So now im stratching my head thinking wtf???
Is she getting off on some cat and mouse game?
Is she wanting the arrangement?
Is she putting me on notice? $$
Is it a lure?

So now what should I do, take the bait and maybe satisfy a growing itch?
Or
Stay with the tried and true Dylan line; "it ain't me babe"
Or
Come clean and play to the mutual privacy benefits of discretion which if works outs me 110% but could nip the games.

Knowing the week to come and her passion for the drink and the "talk a lot sniffles" it feels like a mine field on the horizon.
Is the wife acting odd lately? For all you know you could be walking right into the next episode of cheaters.
I don't know how you married guys pull this shit off without getting busted. Lol I'm single but I have a head enough time with clients and deadlines let alone an SO. That's partly why I'm single.
CG2014's Avatar
Friend of mine is married but he's been getting it on the side for years.

He sents the wife away on vacation.
Repeat after me: "Wasn't me."
Deny, deny, deny, forever and ever....
Naaawwwww hells no, not ME !!!!
bored@home's Avatar
Is the wife acting odd lately? For all you know you could be walking right into the next episode of cheaters. Originally Posted by Ass Hunter
Normally this is what I would suspect but her ruses are typically flawed by her impatience and lack of a strong poker face. She may have stepped up her game but it doesn't seem likely, especially with the trip bought and paid for.
bored@home's Avatar
Repeat after me: "Wasn't me." Originally Posted by THN
Deny, deny, deny, forever and ever.... Originally Posted by PRBOY16
Naaawwwww hells no, not ME !!!! Originally Posted by MarineButch
Pretty much exactly where my head is at if it's ever asked out right but these are little underhanded non direct comments in public..and I want/need those to stop but just not sure how to without tipping my hand.
Start acting like an asshole to the friend. Make her not wanna hang out with you. Be cold and indifferent. If she asks your opinion on something, give her one you know she won't like. Does she vote? Talk about supporting the opposing candidate. Things like that run people off in a heartbeat. Be the asshole.
micktoz's Avatar
I don't get what your problem is. You are going to have a threesome. Just make sure all three of you end up with your mouths busy. No more talk.
  • Gbfsl
  • 07-01-2016, 08:37 AM
I don't get what your problem is. You are going to have a threesome. Just make sure all three of you end up with your mouths busy. No more talk. Originally Posted by micktoz
That is exactly what I was thinking from the moment I started reading your story.
Do not pursue anything individually with her, but let things play their course. Take the trip with the two of them, and hope for the best. I feel a RW threesome coming on. Run with it.

Damn, now I'm horny!
Sorry but y'all are thinking with the wrong heads on this one. That's just wishful thinking.
micktoz's Avatar
Sorry but y'all are thinking with the wrong heads on this one. That's just wishful thinking. Originally Posted by THN
Hahahaha! Of course we are! Hope springs eternal, specially when it's somebody else's arse in a sling.
bored@home's Avatar
Sorry but y'all are thinking with the wrong heads on this one. That's just wishful thinking. Originally Posted by THN
The nurse knows her stuff on this one. It's not even wishful thinking on my part because I absolutely know the SO and it would be a subzero day in hell before she even considered fooling around with her.

I like the asshole approach but haven't been paid for her portion of the trip yet so not rocking that boat just yet. I think I just have to play the game and stay the course for the time being.