Pirate Walked Into A Bar

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You can't lose an eye just from bird crap.
"It was my first day with the hook."

Arrrrrgh Matey! That's a keeper!

You know a Pirates favorite letter? RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I knew a pirate who had 2 girlfriends--each with wooden legs.
One was Peg, the other Ilene.

I knew a pirate who had 2 girlfriends--each with wooden legs.
One was Peg, the other Ilene. Originally Posted by tia travels

I bet he had a woody of his own!

Enjoy yourself,

Stay safe,

Be cool.

Setty (SouthSide)

Why did the Pirate visit the Apple store?

To buy an iPatch!

6. Have you heard about the new pirate movie?
It's rated AARRRRRR! Why? Because of all the booty!


5. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C


4. A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrrrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"


3. What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A sunken chest with no booty


2. Why are pirates called pirates?
They just aRRRRRRRR


1. A pirate enters the men's room, steps up to a urinal, opens his fly and out pops a steering wheel. The guys at the other urinals can't help but notice.

"Whoa," one says. "You have a steering wheel instead of a penis?!"

"Aye," says the pirate. "It's drivin' me nuts!"

Arrrgh!

Too much pirate material to digest in one thread,

. . . but too funny!

Okay, I edited all that junk out.
You are right...too much.

To err is human.
To Arrrrr is pirate

Not too much! You can never laugh too much. I got a kick out of them! Keep em coming.

bad

Okay, I edited all that junk out.
You are right...too much. Originally Posted by tia travels

September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Please be sure to mark your calendar.

Additional information is available at www.TalkLikeAPirate.com

You may find this link useful (or not): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cKCk...eature=related

Yarrrrrrrrrrrr!

Captn Setty

Since we are on the subject of pirates.

What was the obsession pirates had with parrots anyway?

Since we are on the subject of pirates.

What was the obsession pirates had with parrots anyway?

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

"There are no historical accounts to show that real pirates of the past carried parrots. However there are fictional accounts and many assume that this started from the popularity of the book ‘Treasure Island’ in 1881 by Robert Louis Stevenson. In the book, there is a pirate named Long-John Silver who kept a parrot for a pet.

According to Tobias Gibson of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean, in Fact and Fiction’, it is safe to conclude that pirates probably had parrots as pets even though there are insufficient written accounts. This is because historical evidence shows that it was common for animals to be transported by ships, and during the time of the Golden Age of Piracy, selling and buying exotic animals was a common business and was popular among royalty in Europe.

Tobias Gibson wrote: “The more exotic the animal, the more in demand and the more valuable the animal would be. A talking bird would fetch a few doubloons in the Royal Courts of Europe, as would New World Monkeys. We also know that if something was of value, then pirates would plunder it. Some pirates were known to emulate the lifestyles of royalty. Whatever was good enough for the royal courts was also good enough for the well-to-do Pirate. To own an exotic animal would have been a status symbol. If parrots were popular with the upper class, then pirates would want them for either status or financial gain.”

Pirate's Keyboard