Starting off on the wrong foot via text

I would be glad to get your honest opinion of this (especially you ladies).

I've had my eye on a provider on here that offers various sessions including nuru and have been waiting until I had the budget for the session that I want. I thought that today was going to finally be that day but...

Her last 3 ads all say to text or call so I texted. It didn't go well and I decided to give up on pursuing it at least for today because of the reaction. When I text or call, there are some providers that will just chat a bit and invite me over. I don't expect that at all. I'm just saying that it's not uncommon. Others will more often ask that I hope on here and PM or meet in chat. No problem.

But I've never had an unwelcome reaction like the one I just got a moment ago. I'm open to any advice you may have but I try not to make my first text explicit since that is usually unwelcome. I will not name her since it doesn't matter but here's how it went.

Me: Hi are you available?

(I usually start with this since it is vague, she may not have time to talk or she may not be taking appointments)

Her: I have no idea who you are...care to tell me????

(now is it just me or does this sound very unfriendly? I'm more accustomed to "hi can you send me a PM?" or "hi how did you hear about me?" ect)

Me:Haha sure my name is XXX. We haven't met yet but I've been wanting to see about getting together

(again in my experience with providers it is not good to be explicit via text and I'm trying to be courteous. I just need to know what you want from me)

Her: You must be new at this....where did you find me?

(actually I'm not new to this as my aspd reviews would prove if aspd were still around. In any case "You must be new at this" sounds like "you're an idiot". At this point I'm regretting that I ever sent the text in the first place)

Me: Sorry I'm not new to this... I got this number from your online ads that said to text or call.

It went downhill from there. After I finally let her know I was making other plans for the evening, she continued to text 5 more times giving me examples of how I could have handled it better like "most gents" by including the website I saw her on and my handle in the first text message. Maybe I could have started off better but the bottom line was that this did not come off as welcoming. I felt treated like an annoying idiot for sending the text in the first place. I'm looking to get laid not have a lesson on how other customers are better than me at sending their first text. Not the way I want to feel when scheduling a session...

Yes I'm not new to this but I'm open to suggestions if my first text was somehow stupid (even though it's been fine 500 other times). Stupid or not, it might be a good idea for a provider that is looking for new clients to handle it in a more welcoming manner IMHO.

Thoughts?

Sounds like you got a lot of good advice already. Any reason you couldn't just follow the lady's advice? If she's the type of lady you're interested in, odds are other ladies like her will be looking for a similar approach.

I had missteps when I got back after a long break as well, but being respectful and taking feedback from the ladies will get you back in the saddle pretty quickly.

I've never just texted or called somebody for the first contact. I've either sent a PM from here or a PM on P411. If they have an account here or P411 and are active that's the way to go IMO. It's a lot easier for them to know who you really are (on the boards anyway). From a text you could be anybody and just say you're somebody from ECCIE.

Her ad may say to text or call but I'm still going to initiate contact thru here.

I would have started the text out with " Hey this is motor, I saw your ad on eccie ect....ect. Your way seems very vague.........just my opinion

I always prefer to send a PM if that is given as an option. I was only following the instructions in the ad. I seems to me that if a provider wants the handle and website included in the first text, the ad ought to say so. In any case the sarcastic tone of the reply was a huge turnoff to me. If it had simply said "Hi can you send me your handle and where you saw me?" they I'd be getting it in right now and she'd be a few bills richer. I do agree PM is always a better way to go for everyone.

I would have started the text out with " Hey this is motor, I saw your ad on eccie ect....ect. Your way seems very vague.........just my opinion Originally Posted by motor

Good feedback. I once had a provider on here get upset when I did that saying that mentioning eccie, handle and wanting an appointment in the first text was indiscreet... Can't please everyone...

If things happened as the OP states, then the lady in question was being a bitch. If a provider posts her number in the ad and says text or call for an appt....then that's what she'll get. Yes, you could have said this is so and so from Eccie, but that doesn't mean he would have gotten a different response from her. Some ladies just have horrendous TCB skills. I think you probably dodged a bullet OP. I agree with what others have stated, always use a pm for initial contact. Good luck in your new search. Have fun and hobby safely!

why can't you say
Hi My Name is XXXXX just like your calling DR. office
do you call the dr. office a say are you available ? don't you have to give your name
always nice to know the person your talking or texting with
just saying ..

Out of curiosity, is there a significant age difference between the two of you? Only reason I ask is I have noticed little nuances in words and phrasing of text messaging between younger sets. Things that at first literal glance rub me the wrong way but from their end it's all "normal" communication.
I'm not very good at the texting thing anyway so I usually assume the fault and move on.

i'm with you on the texting / unless we have met before or have talked before a meeting and you been screened then you need to call me this way can ,get to hear a voice and that says a lot in my book ..

Out of curiosity, is there a significant age difference between the two of you? Only reason I ask is I have noticed little nuances in words and phrasing of text messaging between younger sets. Things that at first literal glance rub me the wrong way but from their end it's all "normal" communication.
I'm not very good at the texting thing anyway so I usually assume the fault and move on. Originally Posted by bored@home

i'm with you on the texting / unless we have met before or have talked before a meeting and you been screened then you need to call me this way can ,get to hear a voice and that says a lot in my book .. Originally Posted by LustyBustyGina38FF

I always prefer a phone call but I've had plenty of providers give me attitude for that as well even when they provide the phone number. Being a gentleman, I look at the ad and use what they ask for. If there are two options, I go with the first one to do my best to follow instructions. But I don't think a provider ought to them school the customer like he's an idiot newbie. On a side note, I have started plenty of texts off with "hi how are you?" and usually get warm replies.

With regard to the Dr. office analogy, image you actually got that response when calling. I'm betting you'd be looking for a doctor with better bedside manner.

Out of curiosity, is there a significant age difference between the two of you? Only reason I ask is I have noticed little nuances in words and phrasing of text messaging between younger sets. Things that at first literal glance rub me the wrong way but from their end it's all "normal" communication.
I'm not very good at the texting thing anyway so I usually assume the fault and move on. Originally Posted by bored@home

She is in her mid to late 20s. I agree that some of the younger providers don't communicate as well as some of the more experienced ones.

I personally avoid mechanical service or service that leaves you feeling like it's nothing more than business. The way I look at it, the GFE experience begins the moment contact is made. When that is handled so poorly (IMO) you have to wonder how well things will go from there.

Next time include your handle in initial text and let her know where you found her number. Most of us advertise on other websites as well. But yeah, she wasn't friendly when she replied.

Just call her instead, no BS texting

Next time include your handle in initial text and let her know where you found her number. Most of us advertise on other websites as well. But yeah, she wasn't friendly when she replied. Originally Posted by anita

She's definitely bitchy but it's always a good idea to pm first or state your eccie handle such as " it's blm from"E" with you're message.