When in doubt put it in your mouth & wipe it out!

IF YOU SEE GUM IT'S FOR YOU WE HAVE IT OUT FOR YOU IF YOU SEE BABY WIPES USE THEM!
PEOPLE CLEAN YOUR BODIES BEFORE SEEING US! PLEASE & THANK YOU

I have baby wipes behind the toilet FOR A REASON.
I ask each person when they first come in to go to the bathroom so you can freshen up!
There is mouth wash with dixi cups sitting right the counter next to the gum and mentos
USE THEM!
AND IF A PROVIDER OFFERS YOU A MINT OR A PIECE OF GUM PLEASE DO NOT SAY NO THANK YOU.. There is a freaking reason we are offering......

DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW AKWARD IT IS...when you are rolled on your stomach for me to begin my massage and you have dried up Toilet Paper all in your ass crack or the most horrific smell that is over powering the whole room. Or when in my 90 minutes session you are sitting at the end of the bed so I can use my machine on your neck and then you scoot back to lay back down and doing so you leave skid marks on the freaking sheets...SAD to say it has happened several times.


I feel so sorry for the girls that have DFK on the menu and are expected to do that then when you just can not because it is torture you get a no on the review because you did not torture yourself. Or with me when all my reviews say I give a Great ass massage but I do not touch yours because it is way less than fresh.

Bigger people I know it is harder to reach but please bend, dip lift the rolls PLEASE.
When I was in a wheel chair it was very hard but I just took my time.

Or how about the patron that kept going on and on about how he likes to kiss and would I kiss him. First of all that is not on my menu and second if it was it would not be for you. His mouth smelled worse than my paw paws bathroom in the morning after a night of steamed cabbage and red fire bean chili chased with moon shine....! but yet in still he begged for 5 times and hell I couldn't even put my head on his chest IT WAS THAT BAD AND HE REFUSED THE GUM AND MINTS,,,, I hate hurting peoples feelings ...So finally he says I know you want to you need passion too. (MY MIND SAID)) Yeah sure I want you to put that tounge in my mouth like I want a hot pepper in my eye. (my mouth said) Well we all want things we shouldn't act on.. Trying to be sweet and keep the mood....... Then he says well what would it take for 2 minutes of DFK,,,, *MY MIND SAID) Pay my car off and enjoy vomit in your mouth......Real talk his mouth smelled worse than a backed up sewer in a jail in mid July in Landry Perish.. My mouth said now honey if you do not quit asking me the same thing I am going to turn this session into a domination session and get my whip out.. If you just got off work or gym or what ever ask to shower first please please.
I have been wanting to write this for a while but boy some of these oil workers honey YOU ARE NOT SURE! Boy boy boy
pyramider's Avatar
You are sounding pretty high maintenance. You probably just need a good taint rubbing to relax.
Keyhole Arc Blow's Avatar
Maybe you should be a bit more forthcoming and offer the rinse off and oral fresheners, something along the lines of:
It's hot out there, why don't you hop in the shower and rinse off real quick. Then I'll take care of drying you off There's also some mints and mouthwash in there if you'd like.
Basically tell them you want them to was their stinky ass but phrase it as a suggestion. I'd definitely take up the offer with it was delivered with the flowery tact you ladies are so good at.
DallasRain's Avatar
And that's why I like to have a bubblebath drawn for alot of my clients..EVERYBODY likes clean/clean is MORE enjoyable....plus bubbles and sugar scrub can be so erotically fun!!!
lookingood's Avatar
I hear what your sayin and it goes both ways. I've had ladies come to me and smell of cigarettes and taste like an ashtray and even leave skid marks as well........No excuse for bad hygiene.
Danielle Reid's Avatar
I just leave...no point telling a grown man to wash his ass. And I ain't nice either. If you smell like a pig I'll treat you like one.

My black ass is walking right out that door as soon as something stank and nasty catches my attention. I don't give a fuck how much you're paying me. Fuck you an your stinky money

(Never happened to me of course, guess for a bunch of pig farmers and hog callers, AR guys are pretty decent with the smelly factor. Sweaty maybe, but not swamp ass)
sovanna's Avatar
Yup clean is much more fun like DallasRain said.
happybanana's Avatar
There are some new classic lines in that original post... almost spit out my coffee reading it... funny stuff, but so sad that it had to be said...

HB
Guest042715's Avatar
I see snud removal fee's in future ads!
I see snud removal fee's in future ads! Originally Posted by sinkerswim
GOOD IDEA if it is skid removal fees loo
LNK's Avatar
  • LNK
  • 08-08-2013, 07:52 AM
Beyond showering within a couple of hours, I have my own wet wipes and clean appropriate areas just before leaving for an appointment. Wipes are cheap, quick, and easy. I can't understand why someone wouldn't use them.

And yes, this goes for the ladies, as well. Perfume covers smells fairly well in social situations, but we're going a bit beyond that, and it just doesn't cut the mustard. Or the stench.
Danielle Reid's Avatar
I need a new job
DallasRain's Avatar
I need a new job Originally Posted by MaryBeth

sounds like it....lol


I luv my job......there are just certain "aspects" that go along with this type of work that you have to deal with.....you can either deal or walk out {lol}
Danielle Reid's Avatar
Never said I didn't like it, just said a need a new job lady
DallasRain's Avatar
ahhhh that's cool my friend....but could ya make as much at another job as here...and have as much fun??

{btw---I like your showcase...would love to meet you sometime!}


as for the topic---I always have mouthwash/irish spring/combs/and plenty of fresh towels.....cleanliness is priority for both of us!