A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained
consciousness. Now you probably don't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok,
you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in
the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in
insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great, but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. Since I understand that you have been married for overthirty years, then this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. So as you can clearly see, it's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day to visit his patient, saying, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes she has," says the man.
"What is your decision," asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite countertops."