Preference for p4p over gaming civilians

I’m a soon to be divorced, mid 30s, short (5’7”), athletic build black male. Earn a 6 figure income and have no children. Figure I have a decent shot at maybe a FWB situation or a girlfriend in the near future. Been scouring the dating scene ( online and bars/clubs) for a bit to gauge what my prospects would be going forward. But it just seems like one big headache. The expectations are numerous and many of the women are overweight to some degree and/or are single mothers.

I like the no hassle feel of the hobby compared to civilians. Sure I get a bit lonely at times but when I think about it, having another relationship doesn’t seem worth it overall. I think of a relationship as having an intrinsic cost in having sexual exclusivity and companionship with a woman. But the costs and effort to maintain the relationship in my opinion are too high with low reward. Whereas with providers or sugar babies I can contain the cost, easily experience the beauty that I wish to explore and not have to deal with the extra burden of trying to keep the relationship going. If I’m feeling lonely, I can just hang out with family/friends, or engage in hobbies/travel.

What do y’all think? Am I just jaded from the divorce? Or I am on my way to a life of newfound happiness full of freedom.

I would say just try it for awhile and see how it goes. I'm in my 50's and I'm enjoying a steady diet of beautiful 18-24 college SB's and I'm pretty happy. I could never do that just going to bars and clubs so it works for me. Yes the freedom to see multiple SB's/providers is nice and you can control the cost, just be careful, these sweeties can become addicting, lol.

Bars and clubs are for good looking guys. They walk in and girls them signals by eye fucking them. Good looks gets them more preselected. If you are ugly you wont stand a chance whereas these good looking guys dont even have to try.

Money is inconsequential in dating game. Women can provide for themselves.

Money only attracts sugar babies and gold digger who only use you for your money and are not really into you for you.

At 60 my 02 cent is PFP till your ready to "settle down" Trust me , you will thank me . ( Way to many games in real world , Me too shit ladies looking for baby daddy etc)

The Hobby is definatly a no-strings situation. Cost can be as little or as much as you want to spend (and walk away whenever you want) , where as any Real World relationship involves recurring or on on-going costs and drama. However, if you want to come home to someone every day, someone who actually cares how your day went and where you want to go with your life/career . . .then a traditional spousal/SO relationship is the only way to go.

I am now 68 years old. I have a spouse and we are mutually supportive emotionally and in every other way. We have an adult son who is married with two kids and a dog. Holidays are full of family chaos . . .the good kind. My wife has an aunt (89) who has been married three times and is childless . . .and with a personality thet has estranged her from just about everyone. We expect that some day we will get a call from the police saying that she has been found dead for a week in her apqrtment.

By all means, hobby your brains out for a bit, but find someone to complete your life and begin a family with. If that does not fill up your life comletly, then go ahead and hobby some more, but spaqringly, cautiously and carefully. Do't throw away the family.

Best wishes on moving ahead with your life.

Appreciate the input thus far.

ICU - i agree with your assessment because it was nice having an SO to provide for my emotional needs and hobby time to time to fill some physical/ sexual needs.

But after losing half my assets due to the shitty archaic divorce laws and the ridiculous expectations of modern relationships I’m just not sure if that’s for me anymore. Seems everything is about money regardless if the woman cares about you or not. Might as well get what you want at least if you got to pay.

Stay with the hobby or SB’s.

If you secretly are a hopeless romantic that is convinced “the one” exists she’ll find you when you aren’t expecting it. So why put yourself though the hassle of tinder/bumble/sixth street? Hobby for good sex.

Buy a co-Ed pretty panties and dinner for company. The least annoying ones already have mommy and daddy paying the bills so you are just her “generous” boyfriend that gives her pretty things to wear in the bedroom and maybe something sexy to wear to dinner. Since you are fit and young enough to legitimately be a real boyfriend you’ll end up paying less than you think. Hit UT’s alumni weekend and go to a frat party (only works if you went Greek in undergrad and they have a chapter there). Having a plausible reason to be there negates the creep factor. The pretty girl that isn’t drunk with less confidence than she should have is your target. That’s how my first SD found me. Good luck, stay safe, and avoid the crazies!

When someone chooses to get married they take an oath "till death do us part." By doing this they are stating that no matter how much their partner or life may change in the future, they will not break that vow under any circumstances. This may have been practical in the 19th century when people weren't living as long, but in today's age with modern technology and dynamic life I personally choose to leave that kind of decision to people who are willing to take more risks than myself.

I don't have an aversion to "dating" per se, but personally I don't have a girlfriend at the moment and I don't see myself going that route.

With a provider there's no commitment whatsoever. Even if you see someone on a regular basis, either party can walk away at any time, and there's less emotional strain involved, particularly for the woman. No child custody disputes, no asset division, no fueding in laws, or any of the rest of that junk. That doesn't mean you can't care about or like your providers, it just means you are not under obligation for anything.

Humans have the natural inclination to be with another person. When I'm not with friends I try to find things to do with my time. If you are by yourself with nothing to do, loneliness will creep up on any sane person.

I'm not saying that I advocate this industry, I'm just saying that for the moment it's my choice.

I'm a 46 yr old good looking professional AA male and have been hobbying for severql years. I play on Eccie as well as SA. I have been in a relationship with a very educated, good-looking, professional woman who is 1 yr older than me, and she is literally perfect (she treats me well, and she is over-the-moon in love with me) but the problem is I simply am no longer physically attracted to her anymore. I like young, petite women, which she is not. I'm staying with her because she treats me well and its convenient. I hobby without her knowing to satisfy my sexual cravings. I actually prefer SA over Eccie because you get more bang for your buck. Most SA young ladies dont ever worry about "time" when I'm with them and they all are SMOKIN FUCKIN HOTT!! For instance, on numerous occasions I can get a smokin hott SB to stay all night with me for just $300 and have unlimited, uninhibited sex all night. Thinking of a very recent encounter a cpl weeks ago, this gorgeous 23 yrs old mixed with blk/wht/and Asian fucked me literally all night for about 3 hours non-stop. We fucked so much that I'm the one that had to tap out as she wanted to keep going. My hope is to find a beautiful young lady that wants to settle down with me and who wants NO KIDS. If I ever find her, its going to break my heart to have to break it off with my current gf. So in the meantime I'm just having a barrel of fun until I find my young soulmate. I'm certain she's out there somewhere. So, my current gf fulfils my emotional and intellectual needs and I get my physical needs met by hobbying. With regards to being lonely, I suggest getting a dog for a companion. A Boston Terrier to be exact. I have one, he is the smartest dog EVER, and that breed is low maintenance. Good luck to you sir!

I’m a soon to be divorced, mid 30s, short (5’7”), athletic build black male. Earn a 6 figure income and have no children. Figure I have a decent shot at maybe a FWB situation or a girlfriend in the near future. Been scouring the dating scene ( online and bars/clubs) for a bit to gauge what my prospects would be going forward. But it just seems like one big headache. The expectations are numerous and many of the women are overweight to some degree and/or are single mothers.

I like the no hassle feel of the hobby compared to civilians. Sure I get a bit lonely at times but when I think about it, having another relationship doesn’t seem worth it overall. I think of a relationship as having an intrinsic cost in having sexual exclusivity and companionship with a woman. But the costs and effort to maintain the relationship in my opinion are too high with low reward. Whereas with providers or sugar babies I can contain the cost, easily experience the beauty that I wish to explore and not have to deal with the extra burden of trying to keep the relationship going. If I’m feeling lonely, I can just hang out with family/friends, or engage in hobbies/travel.

What do y’all think? Am I just jaded from the divorce? Or I am on my way to a life of newfound happiness full of freedom. Originally Posted by Mr_ Black

All of your observations are true.

If you allow yourself to congregate with other likeminded divorcees, you are at high risk of becoming an incel.

I worked in a careerfield with an extremely high divorce rate. Every co-worker had tales of how their wives had screwed them. After years of being surrounded by that, it had an effect on me. [sorry ladies].

I am on my way to a life of newfound happiness full of freedom YES , take your time doing anything ( divorces are difficult at best) , fill in with hobby .

Bars and clubs are for good looking guys. They walk in and girls them signals by eye fucking them. Good looks gets them more preselected. If you are ugly you wont stand a chance whereas these good looking guys dont even have to try.

Money is inconsequential in dating game. Women can provide for themselves.

Money only attracts sugar babies and gold digger who only use you for your money and are not really into you for you. Originally Posted by bbjunkies

I'm sorry I have to ask but this isn't the first post I've read from you complaining about looks. How damn ugly are you? Like I said you keep posting about it. As for the topic I can't figure out for the life of me why I didn't go this route sooner. No drama, fun and doesn't get boring.

I'm sorry I have to ask but this isn't the first post I've read from you complaining about looks. How damn ugly are you? Like I said you keep posting about it. As for the topic I can't figure out for the life of me why I didn't go this route sooner. No drama, fun and doesn't get boring. Originally Posted by yourdesire

Is there a method for anyone to objectively grade our own looks?

I would guess myself to be a 5 or 6 in the looks department, but I really don't know.

You might feel ugly, but that is your own perception filtering what you see in the mirror. It is not objective.

You can not easily ask your friends, they are your friends. Of course they are going to say whatever it is that they think your mood wants to hear them say.

I'm a 46 yr old good looking professional AA male and have been hobbying for severql years. I play on Eccie as well as SA. I have been in a relationship with a very educated, good-looking, professional woman who is 1 yr older than me, and she is literally perfect (she treats me well, and she is over-the-moon in love with me) but the problem is I simply am no longer physically attracted to her anymore. I like young, petite women, which she is not. I'm staying with her because she treats me well and its convenient. I hobby without her knowing to satisfy my sexual cravings. I actually prefer SA over Eccie because you get more bang for your buck. Most SA young ladies dont ever worry about "time" when I'm with them and they all are SMOKIN FUCKIN HOTT!! For instance, on numerous occasions I can get a smokin hott SB to stay all night with me for just $300 and have unlimited, uninhibited sex all night. Thinking of a very recent encounter a cpl weeks ago, this gorgeous 23 yrs old mixed with blk/wht/and Asian fucked me literally all night for about 3 hours non-stop. We fucked so much that I'm the one that had to tap out as she wanted to keep going. My hope is to find a beautiful young lady that wants to settle down with me and who wants NO KIDS. If I ever find her, its going to break my heart to have to break it off with my current gf. So in the meantime I'm just having a barrel of fun until I find my young soulmate. I'm certain she's out there somewhere. So, my current gf fulfils my emotional and intellectual needs and I get my physical needs met by hobbying. With regards to being lonely, I suggest getting a dog for a companion. A Boston Terrier to be exact. I have one, he is the smartest dog EVER, and that breed is low maintenance. Good luck to you sir! Originally Posted by kcbachelor

What's SA stand for?

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