Intimacy v. Sex

From what I've read (and occasionally experienced), it seems most women crave intimacy. Intimacy appears to be just the appetizer leading up to a complete session of love, sex and everything else with a woman. For women, it seems, intimacy plays a major role in leading up to sex, which may not play such a major role.

For men, however, intimacy is hard. On the one hand, it is just plain hard for men to be intimate. On the other hand, men prefer to cut to the chase--sex. No need to be intimate.

So, how do you merge these two mindsets? Do women ignore their need for intimacy and go straight to sex to please men? Do men go through the motions of intimacy in order to get sex? Or, do both men and women refuse to compromise in order to get what they need/want?

Feel free to jump in with your observations of the general differences between men and women. Not only when it comes to intimacy and sex, but other things as well.

I think I wise man picks women whom he matches up well with, rather in real life or in the hobby..

Obviously in real world relationships they get it wrong sometimes.. the man, doesn't want to have to be "intimate" everytime to just get sex.. and the woman they are with needs that in order to perform, thus they do not click..and we find ourselves on this board.

Not all women need intimacy to have or more importantly enjoy sex. Some women may "claim it", but deep down actually crave it and just suppress it for the "job" of escorting..others legit have no problem doing the "deed" without being intimate. In a way, the fact a girl is being paid, has been "hired" takes some intimacy out of the deal right there, no matter how you spin it, think it in her mind.. the fact the girl is hired removes atleast in part some intimacy from the equation.

I think more often than not, women are taught not to be, nor is it acceptable in society for a woman to be "free" with sex and a negative impression is often cast on ladies that do not require intimacy to engage in sex with a man, they can't "got get theirs" like men so often do.

I think men find it relaxing, refreshing and overall it puts men at ease when they encounter a woman that can truly, honestly enjoy no strings attached sex. Not talking about escorting at this point but in the real world, i think men find it to be a huge turn on that a woman could be so open sexually and "want it" as much as they want it, without the hassle or drama of needing intimacy etc.

I also believe that it can be a turn off, or create tension when you realize that one person whether man or woman is having to compromise in order to get what they want.. they may be comfortable with it, but may not really like it.

I truly believe and you see it daily, far more instances of men having to compromise and go thru the motions of intimacy to get what they need as opposed to women compromising and just trying to please the man.

Sex sadly for many has become more of a hassle then fun, men are required to do so much leading up to the "event" that its often not worth it. the foreplay, the i love you, the flowers, the dinner, the impression that they care about the girl more than just as a piece of ass.. indeed if i was a guy it would be quite refreshing to run across a lady that just loves NSA sex.. and especially lucky i would be if i could run across one that can mesh the 2.. the NSA sex as well as able to enjoy intimate encounters and such

I could try to say a lot.... but DeAnna already nailed most of it!

I know this question wasn't necessarily aimed at The Hobby.... but given what DeAnna has already correctly lined out.... it's so damned nice to be able to just walk in, ball-up and fuck with a female you've just met for the very first first time! What a Hobby !!

Even though I've been lucky enough to enjoy several sexually agressive females thru the years, outside of the hobby.... it still takes a while to get there.... usually!! Then again.... there were those Good Olde Days in the 70's when barely being able to hear the girl's name in the crowded bar led to the Olde Ball-Up and Fuck parties too! That is a very rare occurence, indeed, these days!

But even within the hobby.... there is a wide range of expectations.... at least for the first meeting. I hold those that are able to skip steps 1-3 in a special place in my heart!

Old Chinese proverb say, intimacy is sex coupled with purchase of furniture.

DeAnna--Kewl dissertation.