Can someone translate this ad?

So... I don't speak very good Asian... usually just use the international hand signals. I'm really not sure what this ad means... can you help?

http://albany.backpage.com/Therapeut...-1914/23149137

jonboy52's Avatar
10 minute
10 minute Originally Posted by jonboy52
That made me LOL
She love you long time
If anyone knew what the vector vision and z-touch were I thought for sure it would be Paulie.
57fubar's Avatar
Beam me up Mr. Scott........my vector got lasered