Prolonging the moment...

bluffcityguy's Avatar
I'm sure you've heard the advice given to men, about how they can keep from ejaculating too quickly by the method of thinking about baseball... Reading a reference to this in a recent review reminds me of this monologue of Woody Allen's from back in his days as a standup comedian:

I have to explain this very delicately, 'cause it's really tentative. As I... as I am an inordinately... passionate... man. Volatile. Sensual. In general a stud. When making love... when making love... in an effort...to prolong... the moment of ecstasy... I think of baseball players. All right, now you know. The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal.

She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.
--Woody Allen, "Second Marriage", from the album Standup Comic

Cheers,

bcg
SlowHand50's Avatar
Woody also said: “Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”
bluffcityguy's Avatar
Woody also said: “Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.” Originally Posted by SlowHand50
That it is.

Though whenever I change hands I am wracked with guilt because I'm being unfaithful.

Cheers,

bg
Got a kick out of this!

Though whenever I change hands I am wracked with guilt because I'm being unfaithful. Originally Posted by bluffcityguy
JustaGuyinMS's Avatar
Great thread! I'll be thinking of baseball when I see the next lady.

JaG