Stopping the hobby because your connecting with a real person

Being in this hobby for almost a year has been amazing, and it's helped me to maintain sanity, because I've always been a single guy. I've thought of this hobby as a wonderful way of learning to be a great lover to a special someone in the real world. But I'm making progress with a lady friend of mine that I care about, and she likely cares for me the same. I haven't gone on dates with her...yet. I'm just trying to connect with her as a friend being myself, and grow on her, and so far I've been making very nice progress, and it keeps getting better with her.

But the closer I get, the more I realize I can't be in this hobby if the real thing happens with this woman, hypothetically. Already the thought of cutting off all of this, this Hobby World, it feels like going cold turkey. Has anyone here ever felt this?

Being in this hobby for almost a year has been amazing, and it's helped me to maintain sanity, because I've always been a single guy. I've thought of this hobby as a wonderful way of learning to be a great lover to a special someone in the real world. But I'm making progress with a lady friend of mine that I care about, and she likely cares for me the same. I haven't gone on dates with her...yet. I'm just trying to connect with her as a friend being myself, and grow on her, and so far I've been making very nice progress, and it keeps getting better with her.

But the closer I get, the more I realize I can't be in this hobby if the real thing happens with this woman, hypothetically. Already the thought of cutting off all of this, this Hobby World, it feels like going cold turkey. Has anyone here ever felt this? Originally Posted by Gemineye

The hobby is just sex. Relationships require a lot of emotional transactions. Focus on the relationship and you will soon don't have time for the hobby nor the desire for it.

The hobby is just sex. Relationships require a lot of emotional transactions. Focus on the relationship and you will soon don't have time for the hobby nor the desire for it. Originally Posted by WolfWhistle

Wow, I like that WolfWhistle, great thinking, thank you.

Be careful about the image you project. Ironically some times the hobby helps real life. If you are getting nice fun satisfying sex from the hobby, you project that image. Ever wonder why many times when you have a good woman you attract more and why if you really need one you don't get any? Its all about what you project, how you feel. Confidence!

Obviously a real relationship and connection with a potential soulmate is better than any of this fake shit. Just be aware of how you feel and what you project.

One of the blessings of the hobby is that one no longer projects the desperate sex starved vibe that many project and that keeps the from getting pussy.

Also, the hobby will always be here. Take a break, and if things don't work out in the real world, it's not like you've missed out on anything here.

Hope things work out for you. RW relationships are a lot of work, but worth it in the end.

He will be back, and quick.

Keep hobbying, it will soften the blow if you like her more than she likes you....which unfortunately seems like the case

Be careful about the image you project. Ironically some times the hobby helps real life. If you are getting nice fun satisfying sex from the hobby, you project that image. Ever wonder why many times when you have a good woman you attract more and why if you really need one you don't get any? Its all about what you project, how you feel. Confidence!


One of the blessings of the hobby is that one no longer projects the desperate sex starved vibe that many project and that keeps the from getting pussy. Originally Posted by Lifeking

i hadn't had sex in years(don't laugh), I start in the hobby out of desparation on a monday, see the same provider again on wednesday....and by that Friday I met a RW girl who was 'ready' the first night. A week later we go out again and by the end of the night, shes sitting in my front car seat with her pants off. Hottest girl I've ever dated and I quit hobbying for the several weeks we dated.

So there's def something to this.

Be careful about the image you project. Ironically some times the hobby helps real life. If you are getting nice fun satisfying sex from the hobby, you project that image. Ever wonder why many times when you have a good woman you attract more and why if you really need one you don't get any? Its all about what you project, how you feel. Confidence!

Obviously a real relationship and connection with a potential soulmate is better than any of this fake shit. Just be aware of how you feel and what you project.

One of the blessings of the hobby is that one no longer projects the desperate sex starved vibe that many project and that keeps the from getting pussy. Originally Posted by Lifeking

Bingo!!!

Be careful about the image you project. Ironically some times the hobby helps real life. If you are getting nice fun satisfying sex from the hobby, you project that image. Ever wonder why many times when you have a good woman you attract more and why if you really need one you don't get any? Its all about what you project, how you feel. Confidence!

Obviously a real relationship and connection with a potential soulmate is better than any of this fake shit. Just be aware of how you feel and what you project.

One of the blessings of the hobby is that one no longer projects the desperate sex starved vibe that many project and that keeps the from getting pussy. Originally Posted by Lifeking

So your saying my having these great sexual experiences has helped me to "Calm down," not feel so urgent to rush into the big step of sex with my lady friend, and has helped me focus on her with confidence? Because hind sight it certainly feels that. Even today I had a nice time eating lunch with her at our work (we don't work together, we are in separate departments) we are like Jim and Pam in season 2 of the Office.

So your saying my having these great sexual experiences has helped me to "Calm down," not feel so urgent to rush into the big step of sex with my lady friend, and has helped me focus on her with confidence? Because hind sight it certainly feels that. . Originally Posted by Gemineye

Absolutely!

I am only here because I am not in a relationship. In my humble opinion if you are here while in a relationship, you are not giving your all to that relationship. I am sure there are exceptions to this rule (actually a suggestion) and I don't mean to judge, just stating my personal state of mind. Everyone has a different sex drive. We are all hard wired in different ways. We hobby here for a myriad of reasons and the providers have a wide assortment of reasons for doing this as well. I just wanted to let the OP know that I understand his point of view.

I am only here because I am not in a relationship. In my humble opinion if you are here while in a relationship, you are not giving your all to that relationship. I am sure there are exceptions to this rule (actually a suggestion) and I don't mean to judge, just stating my personal state of mind. Everyone has a different sex drive. We are all hard wired in different ways. We hobby here for a myriad of reasons and the providers have a wide assortment of reasons for doing this as well. I just wanted to let the OP know that I understand his point of view. Originally Posted by mmcqtx

I love my relationship, and my girlfriend, and my wife.

Also, I like strange pussy.

As for the OP, don't even think about quitting the hobby. Like others have said, it gives you a leg up on "civilians" since you don't need to please them, since you can get laid whenever you want. Women hate needy men, and love bad boys with confidence.

I have the same thoughts, glad I am not the only one. My hobby fun is more off and on, but if I got into a rw relationship. I don't think it would be that hard to quit. I think the time invested provided she is the right gal is well worth it. Just if she isn't, then time lost.
I wouldn't have any issues walking away entirely if I was in your situation. Whether you will be back or not, it is entirely up to you and your relationship.

Some gals like needy men or put up with it. Go figure on that. I have seen it and we all have seen it. Some fine ones too. Never understood that.

Likewise I am in no relationship, but if I were to get in one, I wouldn't hesitate to walk away if I knew it was gonna lead somewhere eventually. I would like you said take it step by step and see how it plays out. I never thought I say this but not everything is about sex. Maybe on this site sure. But once you get into this, it is fact you are in her life almost every moment is the most rewarding going thru life.
Hope it works out.

Get back to us when you've gone on the 1st date with 'Pam at The Office', you finally make love to her, 6 months later you've moved in together, then she's missed her period, you got a little gift baby, you get married cause it's the right thing to do...You'll think back to this and wonder, "What if?"

If you can't treat 'Pam' like she's the only woman on Earth, don't waste her time, if a lasting relationship is what you seek.

Leaving the Hobby behind is a piece of cake for a real man!