Fisting - crossing the final line

OK,

So I have had 3 ladies (only 1 was a provider a few years ago) that have wanted to do this (vaginally, not anally), but for some reason, none of them have been able to quite get the last little bit in. So to the ladies out there that have done this successfully, is there any mental or physical trick to this to get past the final hurdle?

In the past with each of these ladies, we have set aside plenty of time. I don't have big hands, in fact probably on the small side. Generally its preceeded by plenty of DATY/DATO, plenty of pounding, more DATY/DATO, before we start to try digital penetration. We take our time (I don't go any faster than they feel they want or can). I use plenty of lube, but nothing special (usually just KY or whatever she has handy. Start with one finger and tongue, and gradually add more fingers. Once the lube used, DATY tends to stop (taste, but would like to find a lube that I can use and continue DATY). I generally use whatever motion she seems to like, but generally a slight twisting motion along with in and out. However, once we've got to the point that I've got to the point where I have all 4 fingers and thumb well inside, there always seems to be a point where resistance is met and we can't get any further. It seems to be so close to the point where a feel I could slip the rest in, but no further. I'd say my hand is well inside, but we get stopped at the point of my knuckles, what feels like the widest point of my hand. Seems so frustrating for both of us each time we get this far. Any suggestions? And then once we do get in, is there a particular movement that feels best for the lady? In and out? The twisting motion still? Leave hand open or make a fist so that my hand feels "stuck" inside?
sue_nami's Avatar
come here. I'll show you. just teasing, I know you don't mean on you. LOL. It's all about patience, lube and time. When I fist women, I find it is all about lubing the knuckles frequently, working in with a few fingers at a time, then get 4 fingers in and curl into a fist at that point to work the thumb in slowly, such an exquisite task .
Guest010619's Avatar
There is one provider I know of who enjoys vaginal fisting. I do have somewhat large hands but she had not trouble taking it in. Even did some pumping to her satisfaction.
NTFunGuy's Avatar
In my experience with my SO and some providers, it is all a matter of time and patience. This is something that cannot be rushed and is developed over a considerable amount of time. It probably took almost a year before I could fist my SO. Just be patient and there can never be too much lube. Also, when I was at that 'sticking' point, we used latex gloves. For some reason it just made it easier for her to take in the beginning.

As far as technique, I usually use a slight twisting motion until I can get it in. Once I know it is getting ready to go in (I am usually palm up in sort of a duck bill position) I will roll my fingers around my thumb into a fist. My SO usually likes short thrusts with a little bit of twisting. She also likes the felling of just the fist clenching.

Hope that helps you out.
I'd say, patience, lots and lots of lube, and lots of checking-in. Also, perhaps try using gloves. When you've got your four fingers and thumb inside, a good way to think about what you're doing with your hand is making a shadow puppet duck. And once you're all in, there isn't necessarily one particular movement that works for everyone. Ask your partner what feels good.
Joni HappyMassage's Avatar
It's the mindset. Knowing a great orgasm is coming when th threshold is crossed. Forget patience when my SO gets close I'll beg him to push to get there. I often use a vibe while he's going in also.
FireKitten's Avatar
Pounding? You probably don't want to be doing anything that is swelling the vaginal tissue beforehand. Foreplay is good, but nothing that has already significantly swollen the tissue. And once in, either a little twisting or just a fist close to the entrance, no real thrusting.

The lube needs to go completely to your wrist. And on her, on the sides of the labia; you could be running into some unintentional "almost sticking" issues that bother the lady too much.

Other than that, the lady seems to do better if she is really just laying still and RELAXED. Deep breathing, no physical stress on the body. As an exercise. Similar to the thought of the childbirth breathing techniques, very, very relaxed for all muscles. If she tightens up, stop, wait, and try again. Look at how your hand can be curled and tucked to be as small as possible, it may actually be better if your knuckles are turned downward and applying pressure from that angle, going in slightly diagonally upward, palm up to start. The lower part of her is all muscle, instead of that direct contact with upper bone.

It's kind of like Greek, a lot of minor things to figure out, but once you do it, much more casual and off and running with less prep.
Sorry if this was misinformative. The "pounding" in this case may not have been the best description to use. In these case, an attempt at fisting is never the first thing we have had on our menu. Always lots of DATY and DATO, nearly always regular sex (the pounding listed above, but could have been fast or slow, hard or soft, or any combo), sometimes some anal play. Basically, there has always been lots of activity before to get us both warmed up.

Pounding? You probably don't want to be doing anything that is swelling the vaginal tissue beforehand. Originally Posted by FireKitten
When you say hand should be "curled and tucked as small as possible", I normally have my hand scrunched with the fingers straight and the thumb squeezed into the middle of the fingers (sort of behind the middle and ring fingers). I'll try more palm-up on entry next time we get to play.
Willen's Avatar
And size does matter. Often I cursed my small hands back in my basketball days--kinky romping is quite a different story.
Try different types of lube.
Lube and patience, as others have said - gloves are a MUST for me when I'm engaging in any type of fisting. They reduce friction and prevent accidents with fingernails, and there's something really sexy about a pair of black nitrile gloves!
FireKitten's Avatar
That is what I thought you meant about pounding. That is probably too much stress/swelling on the tissue. Some nice foreplay is good, but that much activity is a lot more engorgement, and eventually tenderness, that you don't need.