Starting a session: Preferences .... Disappointments

I posted this in the Men's Lounge .. and thought ... "hmm... ladies may have something interesting to say ... or may garner some good intel from other postings" ... so, i'm re-posting in co-ed. I will add this caveat, and it appears in my P411 profile. The overriding requirement is, the lady must be comfortable. If she is not, she will not provide the sort of session I prefer .. I need her to provide the illusion of "being there, being into it":

I was communicating with a provider and touched on the 'what to wear' question. I usually book through P411 and have a lot of info about my preferences. Short story, i want the lady to be comfortable so .,. no real rules. Just a request to be sexy.

I showed up for a session once and was greeted by a thick woman (I like thick or "curvy" ladies) in a sweat suit, complete with cat hair. I selected this lady because of a connection i felt toward her postings on the board. Lady was smart, funny .. and the session was good .. but the start was ... eccchhhhh. So, I added a "please look sexy" to my profile. My sessions are, for me, erotic romantic fantasies ... not trips to the mall.

Best session start was ARIANNA who seems to have taken a break (don't know if she is coming back). I'm walking down the hallway and get a text ... "I'm in the shower. Join me!" I thought .. "this lady is clever... she is gonna get me all clean for the session, leaves nothing to chance" and that may have been true ... but the thing was ... what a hot way to start a session. Her hot, wet, sudsy nakedness ... hugging and kissing ... grabbing ass ... while she cleaned my junk. Ladies, a great, great start. How often have you wished to could call a time out and clean his junk? And that session stayed good for two hours.

I'll give honorable mention to Emary Preston (http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=1382758) who greeted me with beautiful hair and make-up, a see through red teddie, red thong, and high heeled pumps. Just gorgeous, hot, and make following her up the stairs ... an erotic journey. Thank you for that, Emary!

I appreciate that the start of a session when you don't know the other person .. could be .. I dunno ..awkward? But i hate the thought of small talk and chit chat. I usually book several days in advance, sometimes longer if the scheduling requires. by the time i walk through the door .. i'm ready for the show. I want to be considerate ... but .... damn ... we know why i'm here!

I love the lady who can provide a fast start. That's why the shower thing was a home run for me..... just wondering what you guys thought.

Dodger, I don't have a particular answer to your query (although the shower thing sounds awesome!!) -- but I did want to say that your post, in general, marks you as a thoughtful gentleman.

I like the way you posed this question to the men and women of the Board.

I've been struggling myself with how I handled a somewhat different unpleasant hobby experience the other week. I thought about posting my question in the Men's Lounge -- but knew that the assembled malehood would tell me (unequivocally) that I did the right thing...and I still wouldn't feel any better about it.

I think I may follow your lead and query the CO-ED audience, so I get a "fair and balanced" response.

A tip o' the hat to you...

Dodger, great question!
The start of a session sets the tone for me. If there is awkwardness at the start the session does not go as well. When it clicks from the moment if eye contact it goes very well. That being said I have learned to control my hobby by selecting compatible dates instead of jumping in just because. One can't make a lady like you so I guess this is hit or miss and I try and make the best of those situations.

IB

I find that the gentlemen that communicate well prior to an appointment leave the absolute happiest. Being able to know about his likes/dislikes and even what he would like to see me dressed in helps me to be fully prepared for our date.

We all have our preferences, and speaking up about them is the very best way to make that happen! I personally love a steamy kiss as soon as my date walks through the door, then we can work our way to making you as comfortable and pleased as you would like.

Xoxo

ALL of the best sessions I have had involved DFK from the minute I get in the door.

Great kissers make for a great session.

Kaylee knows this.

Damn Dodger.....the "meet me in the shower" is the hottest thing I've read in a while. Very cool. I'd love for some ladies to take more of a roll here.....perhaps they are waiting on me. I've had one suggest a "date" and it was fantastic!

given this thread, I really need to think about trying some things out. The initial chat for 5-10 minutes.....sometimes great, sometimes not. I've only done one outfit request, and it was great!

Starting to get my wings! (only took 6 months!) Thanks everyone......

I wouldn't mind starting out with a mutual shower.

Usually I can tell how a session's going to go from the pre-session communication. I ignored my intuition once.. and it was really awkward.

When it comes to outfit requests, roleplays,etc.. I usually figure a first time guy (esp. a first time guy who's only booking a BnG or HH session) doesn't have the right to ask for additional effort in that area..Basically he gets back what he puts into the donation. Getting the cat hair off would be nice though..esp. for those 'mongers cursed with allergies.

I'm honestly curious: How many fellow 'mongers would like to immediately get going vs. some talking & getting to know the lady first? Would it matter if it was a first time or repeat session?

I'm honestly curious: How many fellow 'mongers would like to immediately get going vs. some talking & getting to know the lady first? Would it matter if it was a first time or repeat session? Originally Posted by Blue_eyed_shy_guy

When I see a girl half my age it is PSE so that starts as soon as our eyes meet, go time.

When I see a lady that is within reason to a lady I would date it is GFE and getting to know her is nice.

I just feel awkward sitting and chatting with a young hottie.
I do like to chit chat when she is bouncing up and down on me though, that's hot.

As to the first time or repeat, I am seeing the lady to have fun so it should not matter of it is the first time or a repeat play time.

IB

I'm honestly curious: How many fellow 'mongers would like to immediately get going vs. some talking & getting to know the lady first? Would it matter if it was a first time or repeat session? Originally Posted by Blue_eyed_shy_guy

did i mention that i'm really fucken old?

funny how this works. first, i can appreciate that a lady might be put off by me coming through the door, bellowing "on your knees, bitch! no more mr. nice guy!" at the same time ... there was an ad by a kristin keys on aspd that said "within a minute of you coming through my door, i want to be naked, on my knees, with your cock in my mouth." Six of one? I saw Kristin at a social and told her i thought it was a great ad ... she said she got a better response to that ad than any other one she had run ... go figure... she cracked the code.

a couple of things .. "getting to know the lady, first?" i have researched the lady. i know (or i think i know) what i want to know .. which is .. how this woman fits into my erotic romantic fantasy. i booked a provider and i expect she is playing a role ... i don't believe i am with the 'real person' .. i am with her provider personna.

i am no more interested in her real life than she is in mine. and that is as it should be. we use words like fantasy and illusion when we discuss sessions. where does small talk fit? do i care if she has a cat? if she prefers HEB or randall's? if a lady wants to lie to me during a session ... i can accept that .. sometimes i even appreciate it, am grateful for it.

what does "immediately get going" mean? generally, i'm booking 1.5 to 2 hrs .. so there is no rush to start or finish. And I appreciate that not every lady wants long sessions ,.,. so i'm looking for ladies who enjoy longer sessions, do it well, and have a good rate for longer sessions. (dodger is a value shopper)

I like to embrace, sit down .. prefer her on my lap. i tell her that i'm happy to meet her, she looks beautiful, and i've been looking forward to our time together .. that 'small talk, chit chat' should be over and done within a minute or two. hopefully, some smooching and exploring has begun.

I do tend to take more time getting started with first time visitors. I let the guy make the first move. Most times I greet the guy at the door in a dress and with a nice hug.
Although p411 does make things easier because guys can put what they like in the profile.

Dodger, LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!!

OK. Here goes - Observations From One Year In:

1) First and foremost, good TCB and effective communication from the very outset are the key to your happiness. Think of it like the basics of writing a journalistic article: WHO (is the provider), WHAT (do you desire specifically), WHY (this one is simple...), WHEN (set a time and be ready then), WHERE (this is gonna vary due to safety / LE concerns - but its hard to be on time if you don't know where to go...) and, I cannot stress this enough, HOW MUCH is the donation.

2) Lets spend a few minutes on the HOW MUCH portion of the above PRE-GAME TCB REQUIREMENTS, as I have noticed that there has been a little confusion lately with regards to what is proper etiquette and the contractual obligations..... and yes, it is a contract between client and provider. Now, so that there is no confusion in the future, UNLESS YOU HAVE IT IN FUCKING WRITING FROM THE PROVIDER THAT YOU GET A SPECIAL DISCOUNTED RATE FOR ETERNITY, YOU PAY THE ECCIE ADVERTISED RATE IN THE PROVIDER'S SHOWCASE, ThreAD, Weekly Ad, SNATCH THREAD, of WEEKEND LINEUP post EACH AND EVERY TIME. And I'll add this, make sure that you fucking ask / verify if "pursuant to your SNATCH post, it will be "$X" for the desired individual session?" This really will save us all a lot of headaches.

If you have an alternate agreement / arrangement, as some regulars have with their providers, GET IT IN WRITING. None of us here, except me of course, are special..... WE ARE CLIENTS FIRST. Whatever else may develop is secondary to that basic relationship. If either client or the provider wish that to change, one will breach the subject to the other, but do not get all pissy and butt hurt if you "put your heart out there" or extend the "friendship invitation" and get rebuffed. We all have private lives and such are not required to be shared with anyone.

Now lets talk about specials and discounts. If you are fortunate enough, for whatever reason, to be graced with a discounted rate or have another arrangement with a provider, MAKE SURE THAT BOTH CLIENT AND PROVIDER ARE ON THE SAME EXACT PAGE with regard to that arrangement. As such, these questions need to be addressed: 1) Is this special rate for this session only? , 2) for a review special?, 3) do I always get this rate from here on out?, 4) do I get this rate only if I see you "X" number of times per month, 5) If I pay a monthly rate (SD/SB arrangement) what do I get and what are your obligations, 6) are there any additional amounts that I'd need to cover - incall location use, hotel rooms for an afternoon tryst, etc...., 7) and anything else that comes up regarding the basis of the bargain ("the deal") going forward.

I realize that this can be a somewhat uncomfortable conversation, especially if you are a newbie or relatively new, but IT MUST OCCUR - and not just the first meeting. If you see a provider more than twice, it is an evolving relationship and this conversation must occur frequently to ensure that all are on the same page. I'm not just preaching at the clients here - Ladies, its your business and you are responsible for clearly and effectively communicating the terms of the transaction(s) / relationship with the client - DO NOT THINK IT RUDE OR THAT ITS A MOOD KILLER - we are all here and understand the symbiotic relationship between the parties. I always think that this is best done by PM, right from the initial onset of communication that way everyone understands and everyone can keep a copy. And remember, this should all be TCB items addressed before any BCD occurs.

If I cancel within 24 hours of a session, my personal policy is that I pay the lady the agreed upon donation for the cancelled session as soon as I can. You would be amazed how many times that that simple act has led to amazing benefits and respect earned from the provider..... It automatically makes you a "stand up, solid guy". And since ladies talk.....it will pay you future dividends as well if a provider mentions in infoshare that "he was a complete gentleman, had to cancel, but paid me my donation anyways".....I promise after that you can probably see anyone you want to. And, as happened to me, the provider was graceful enough to allow me to see her the next time for free..... Kill em' with kindness! The NillaNice Motto....

Payment Rant Over

3) Provider Attire / Attitude - communicate your desires before the first session as soon as you are able. This allows the provider an little insight into your preferences and time for her to arrange for such, if time allows. Me, I'm PlainVanillaATX and my tastes are simple....... But you gotta let the lady know your preferences before hand, verbally or in writing, as they are not mind readers. But FYI, Leopard Print ANYTHING is awesome! Ladies, I'm sure that "being bright eyed and bushy tailed" (i.e. being awake, alert, and into the session) is a plus for all. I doubt that any of us want you all stoned out of your gourds, numb to the world or in some trance. Sounds simple and silly but please be able focus on us.....

4) Be Clean - I'm not going to resurrect the entire "shower / make sure you junk is immaculate and fresh" thread but I'm willing to bet that shaved, spotless and fresh smelling pussy / dick and balls get a lot more action than the other......just saying. Common mutual courtesy.....just everyone be fresh.

5) Entrance / Greeting - This may just be me, but I have always been a little leery of being instructed to "just come on in" to the location. I want to be greeted by the provider at the door for several reasons: 1) If she is not the person in the pictures or if the pictures are old or doctored I want to be able to turn on a dime and walk out with out entering, 2) if she is wasted or high on something, I want to see that ASAP and leave without ever entering a location with illicit items and 3) I actually want to be greeted in a friendly and cordial manner and to feel that I am welcome in the location.....what if you just walk into the wrong apartment by mistake...... Nope, not me, not happening. Meet me at the door.

6) Talk and Discuss - When you get there, spend five minutes or so talking. It will put everyone at ease and allow you both to refine the activities that will shortly commence.....sometimes BCD surprises are not all that great.....just saying. I was not expecting "dirty talk" one time..... AWKWARD!

7) Providers Are Responsible For Protection - Ladies, this is your business and you are responsible for the provision of the condoms. You can write off the cost on your taxes as a consumable (no pun intended) business expense.

So, to put it succinctly and summarize, Awesome TCB will lead to Amazing BCD..... trust me.

-Nilla (provider of 4" of cold hard steel....if you get it, you got it)

Man. You simply work too hard spending your money.


Best session I ever had was with a girl wearing a black party dress and heels that pinned me to the door with a lip lock the moment it closed, slid down to her knees, unzipped me did not stop until I came.

Then she led me to the bed, laid down and asked me how my day was and all small talk occurred while recovering.

I also had zero concerns for LEO and I imagine she had none as well.

I repeated her a dozen or so times as a result.

Man. You simply work too hard spending your money.


Best session I ever had was with a girl wearing a black party dress and heels that pinned me to the door with a lip lock the moment it closed, slid down to her knees, unzipped me did not stop until I came.

Then she led me to the bed, laid down and asked me how my day was and all small talk occurred while recovering.

I also had zero concerns for LEO and I imagine she had none as well.

I repeated her a dozen or so times as a result. Originally Posted by Cat in the Hat

OFIO sugar baby or stripper with daddy issues?

Man. You simply work too hard spending your money.


Best session I ever had was with a girl wearing a black party dress and heels that pinned me to the door with a lip lock the moment it closed, slid down to her knees, unzipped me did not stop until I came.

Then she led me to the bed, laid down and asked me how my day was and all small talk occurred while recovering.

I also had zero concerns for LEO and I imagine she had none as well.

I repeated her a dozen or so times as a result. Originally Posted by Cat in the Hat

+1

IB

Dodger, LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!!

OK. Here goes - Observations From One Year In:

1) First and foremost, good TCB and effective communication from the very outset are the key to your happiness. Think of it like the basics of writing a journalistic article: WHO (is the provider), WHAT (do you desire specifically), WHY (this one is simple...), WHEN (set a time and be ready then), WHERE (this is gonna vary due to safety / LE concerns - but its hard to be on time if you don't know where to go...) and, I cannot stress this enough, HOW MUCH is the donation.

2) Lets spend a few minutes on the HOW MUCH portion of the above PRE-GAME TCB REQUIREMENTS, as I have noticed that there has been a little confusion lately with regards to what is proper etiquette and the contractual obligations..... and yes, it is a contract between client and provider. Now, so that there is no confusion in the future, UNLESS YOU HAVE IT IN FUCKING WRITING FROM THE PROVIDER THAT YOU GET A SPECIAL DISCOUNTED RATE FOR ETERNITY, YOU PAY THE ECCIE ADVERTISED RATE IN THE PROVIDER'S SHOWCASE, ThreAD, Weekly Ad, SNATCH THREAD, of WEEKEND LINEUP post EACH AND EVERY TIME. And I'll add this, make sure that you fucking ask / verify if "pursuant to your SNATCH post, it will be "$X" for the desired individual session?" This really will save us all a lot of headaches.

If you have an alternate agreement / arrangement, as some regulars have with their providers, GET IT IN WRITING. None of us here, except me of course, are special..... WE ARE CLIENTS FIRST. Whatever else may develop is secondary to that basic relationship. If either client or the provider wish that to change, one will breach the subject to the other, but do not get all pissy and butt hurt if you "put your heart out there" or extend the "friendship invitation" and get rebuffed. We all have private lives and such are not required to be shared with anyone.

Now lets talk about specials and discounts. If you are fortunate enough, for whatever reason, to be graced with a discounted rate or have another arrangement with a provider, MAKE SURE THAT BOTH CLIENT AND PROVIDER ARE ON THE SAME EXACT PAGE with regard to that arrangement. As such, these questions need to be addressed: 1) Is this special rate for this session only? , 2) for a review special?, 3) do I always get this rate from here on out?, 4) do I get this rate only if I see you "X" number of times per month, 5) If I pay a monthly rate (SD/SB arrangement) what do I get and what are your obligations, 6) are there any additional amounts that I'd need to cover - incall location use, hotel rooms for an afternoon tryst, etc...., 7) and anything else that comes up regarding the basis of the bargain ("the deal") going forward.

I realize that this can be a somewhat uncomfortable conversation, especially if you are a newbie or relatively new, but IT MUST OCCUR - and not just the first meeting. If you see a provider more than twice, it is an evolving relationship and this conversation must occur frequently to ensure that all are on the same page. I'm not just preaching at the clients here - Ladies, its your business and you are responsible for clearly and effectively communicating the terms of the transaction(s) / relationship with the client - DO NOT THINK IT RUDE OR THAT ITS A MOOD KILLER - we are all here and understand the symbiotic relationship between the parties. I always think that this is best done by PM, right from the initial onset of communication that way everyone understands and everyone can keep a copy. And remember, this should all be TCB items addressed before any BCD occurs.

If I cancel within 24 hours of a session, my personal policy is that I pay the lady the agreed upon donation for the cancelled session as soon as I can. You would be amazed how many times that that simple act has led to amazing benefits and respect earned from the provider..... It automatically makes you a "stand up, solid guy". And since ladies talk.....it will pay you future dividends as well if a provider mentions in infoshare that "he was a complete gentleman, had to cancel, but paid me my donation anyways".....I promise after that you can probably see anyone you want to. And, as happened to me, the provider was graceful enough to allow me to see her the next time for free..... Kill em' with kindness! The NillaNice Motto....

Payment Rant Over

3) Provider Attire / Attitude - communicate your desires before the first session as soon as you are able. This allows the provider an little insight into your preferences and time for her to arrange for such, if time allows. Me, I'm PlainVanillaATX and my tastes are simple....... But you gotta let the lady know your preferences before hand, verbally or in writing, as they are not mind readers. But FYI, Leopard Print ANYTHING is awesome! Ladies, I'm sure that "being bright eyed and bushy tailed" (i.e. being awake, alert, and into the session) is a plus for all. I doubt that any of us want you all stoned out of your gourds, numb to the world or in some trance. Sounds simple and silly but please be able focus on us.....

4) Be Clean - I'm not going to resurrect the entire "shower / make sure you junk is immaculate and fresh" thread but I'm willing to bet that shaved, spotless and fresh smelling pussy / dick and balls get a lot more action than the other......just saying. Common mutual courtesy.....just everyone be fresh.

5) Entrance / Greeting - This may just be me, but I have always been a little leery of being instructed to "just come on in" to the location. I want to be greeted by the provider at the door for several reasons: 1) If she is not the person in the pictures or if the pictures are old or doctored I want to be able to turn on a dime and walk out with out entering, 2) if she is wasted or high on something, I want to see that ASAP and leave without ever entering a location with illicit items and 3) I actually want to be greeted in a friendly and cordial manner and to feel that I am welcome in the location.....what if you just walk into the wrong apartment by mistake...... Nope, not me, not happening. Meet me at the door.

6) Talk and Discuss - When you get there, spend five minutes or so talking. It will put everyone at ease and allow you both to refine the activities that will shortly commence.....sometimes BCD surprises are not all that great.....just saying. I was not expecting "dirty talk" one time..... AWKWARD!

7) Providers Are Responsible For Protection - Ladies, this is your business and you are responsible for the provision of the condoms. You can write off the cost on your taxes as a consumable (no pun intended) business expense.

So, to put it succinctly and summarize, Awesome TCB will lead to Amazing BCD..... trust me.

-Nilla (provider of 4" of cold hard steel....if you get it, you got it) Originally Posted by PlainVanillaATX

The word "over thinking" comes to mind.

Just have fun and play, it's a hobby not a job!

IB