Its saturday night and I ain't got no honey

FlyboyNY's Avatar
"Its saturday night and I ain't got no honey, I got some money cause I just got paid". For you old timers you can put in the tune. This song sums up my experience over the last 3 months.

I want to ask a question and hope I will not be percieved as a complainier. I am just extremely frustrated and want to know if I did something in the community that is causing my problem or if it is the trend of the providers. Most of you know me from the former board where I was very active and wrote many reviews. I go back a long way, actually before the former board was even formed but I was there when Plainmind was a mod. I had to take a haitus about the time we migrated here but still contributed when I could. For the last three months I have busted my butt to hook up with many of the providers but keep getting shut out. Now I will readily admit my schedule is a bit complicated and I usually only have a couple days notice. But that was never a problem until recently. But what happened last week was the proverbial icing on the cake. I knew I would be available last friday so on the monday before I emailed a provider and asked if she would be available Friday. She responded with yes and said she needed references. I emailed them to her Tues and She emailed me back Thursday saying she got a nice reference back and to let her know what time. I emailed Friday morning asking what worked best for her and that I was available all day. She emailed me back saying she was unavailable. WTF? Now am I wrong in assuming we had a date pending reference approval? Ok, so I know s**t happens so I try to contact 2 other people who I can't get a hold of and say f**k it and go play golf. Today I sign on and low and behold here is a review of this provider. So obviously (to me anyway) she was available but decided to blow me off. No pun intended.
Now I know that providers are business people and can and do do what they want. I understand that. My concern is that this has happened time and again and it is driving me crazy. If there are other guys that are experiencing the same thing then I will have to accept that the hobby has changed and decide what my future is in it. But if not, then I hope someone would PM me and let me know who I pissed off that has gotten me to this point. I honestly can't think of anything that has happened but hey, who knows, maybe I am just unaware.
Sorry this is so long and thanks for letting me air this out. I would have posted this in the private area but because I have not been able to write a review, I lost my BCD. Thanks to everyone who contributes here and takes the time to make this the great community it is.
Hopefully you are contacting the provider directly to ask or you've received a PM.

From my experience, CrystalAries, Faith, Heather, MJ, and Velvet Touch have all been very reliable on setting a date/time and sticking to it with good coordination. There should be others. I just know of the reliability of these women directly.
cnym's Avatar
  • cnym
  • 05-21-2010, 05:58 AM
From my experience, CrystalAries, Faith, Heather, MJ, and Velvet Touch have all been very reliable on setting a date/time and sticking to it with good coordination. There should be others. I just know of the reliability of these women directly. Originally Posted by NormalBob

Which one of you guys (all eccie male members) has the courage to list the names of the providers that are not reliable and have poor TCB skills ????????
In terms of responsiveness and reliability (aka TCB), my experience is that there is a wide spectrum among the ladies. Some are absolutely outstanding. Some exhausted my patience very early on. Others are basically well-meaning, but are hampered by family/work obligations, lack of organization, or email/phone accessibility/skills.
FlyboyNY,
I too have had your type of experience more so lately then in previous times.
Business keeps me busy so have limited time to play, but I have at times emailed 2-3 providers (just last weekend) and never get a response. Just this past week in CNY I had set up seeing someone on Wednesday evening. Never heard back so I contacted her late in the evening. She said she didn't think I was serious when I mailed her.

Business must be soo good that most providers don't need our repeat business.
jekemo48's Avatar
maybe its you, i hope youve considered that.
jekemo48
maybe its you, i hope youve considered that.
OUCH!!!!!


There are many that provide outstanding tcob skills but it appears you have met one that would rather see an existing friend vs a first timer. Maybe some of the ladies can respond with the reasoning behind a last minute change. Although have you reached out to the reviewer to see when he met her? Although you suggested your entire day was open. Maybe she is limited in availability and the other guy had a specific time. I may suggest in the future give some time options to choose from to help cooridinate the appt.
Jekemo48,
Yes, I've always considered that it's me, but if your in a service business communication with the client is what keeps you in business. Especially in a down economy, I've found that even more so required to stay alive.
Must be business is just soo good for providers today, that they feel they can just do it their way and business will just keep being there.

Just me 2 cents.
cnym's Avatar
  • cnym
  • 05-21-2010, 10:21 AM
Some exhausted my patience very early on. Originally Posted by jackfengshui
Amen to that


Business must be soo good that most providers don't need our repeat business. Originally Posted by Denmac
Do you think that some of the SP's will miss us if we stop the Hobby for a while, or simply they don't care?

Thank God for my Regular SP's, I appreciate you ladies
AS much as we would like to think that we member here makeup the majority of the clients that the girls see, i believe it to be the opposite. While in the minority, we may be som eo fthe more informed, but in no way, would our hiatus from teh hobby affect the majority of the girls on here...
I have one provider in particular that I've had a VERY hard time getting to respond to me (via email, or text). And I know I have a good reference from one of her friends locally. Oh well, many fish in the sea.
hmmm..well I can say thats not too cool..it always is a huge bummer when you know you
got bumped for another..especially when you had that day and time worked out. I have had it happen to me..it kinda hurts your feelings abit..
I know you flyboy..as ronck and I can say she was the one that missed out on a great time with a great guy! I do hope she has responded to you since this happened.

Now I know that you guys do have crazy schedules..don't we all..however I do try to make sure i got my shit together when it comes to taking care of MY biz..cuz I know its
my biz thats takin care of the things I need to survive.

For me I make sure my biz is handled over the phone, that way there isnt any kind of
miss communications on either side. Understand if I have talked to you on the phone and we have agreed to the day and time..and you've called me that day an hour or so prior..
We are good to go.

Now I'm not a texter or email participant kinda person...You must call me for details..
I cannot respond to texts..and I hate being stuck on my computer all day.. This is my preference..and the very best way to reach me, the quickest way to get to see me as well...

In not calling the providers will they miss you? Well I guess really that depends on the provider..If this is her sole tool for advertising well yes then I guess she would..unless she her personality is in bitch mode then well.. maybe not..

I have to say I really appreciate the gents that do keep me in their minds and
make sure they come and see me..they are soo cool..and treat me very well...
thank you. However I do like meeting new friends as well..as long as they understand..
I screen..most are cool with it ..yet there are still some that think I'm the crazy one
for wanting to know who they are.

I really don't know what to say to make this situation better since well I'm not the lady he's ref to and if in the event I cannot make the appointment time..I contact the gent by phone to cancel...

Actually I do know what to say..hey there are other providers out there that would love to see you..so if the turn of events happens again..have a backup plan..always cover that plan A with a GOOD plan B. Plan B bein ME!!!! nita!(oh no she dint oh yes she did!!!)
The situation looks pretty clear to me, but of course I could be wrong. It seems that in the time it took you to get back to her, she had already booked an appointment. I personally do not hold "places" for people without an actual appointment unless it is for a long date. I know that this can be a pain in the butt for you guys, and I'm sorry for that, but it would be a poor business decision to hold places for people. In this case, it looks like she would have benefited from doing do, but we can never be sure.

Also, I may say that I am available all day, but all it takes is one five o'clock appointment to fill up my work schedule for that day. Perhaps this lady is the same way. Yes, business is always good, but why would a lady refrain from seeing a client she liked just for that reason? She wouldn't. There must be more to it.

Another possibility is that it is you. Perhaps you have done something to annoy her, or perhaps she really would just rather see someone else. I have had requests for appointments from my favorite gentlemen when I was already booked with a "less favorite" gentlemen, and I kept the appointments I had booked I figure it's the ethical thing to do, but boy was I tempted to cancel....

Miscommunications are pretty common, I think, as far as people getting back to other people. For example, I often cannot answer my phone, and it is probably inappropriate to return the call hours later. I am not near a computer all day long. A lot of things can happy, really. Sometimes I have received texts days after they were sent. It's not common, but it happens. Luckily, when my phone is going to be temperamental for a while, I can give my clients a heads-up.

At the risk of being attacked here, I do want to say that I wish people wouldn't put providers down for not being in constant contact with their clients. If only you knew how time-consuming it can be! I give priority to messages regarding potential appointments, for example, and people can get very upset with me and even angry when I don't respond to the personal ones right away. I think most of you understand this, though.

Also, it is not helpful to put down the way we run our businesses. I'm sorry if it seems that I am taking this too personally, but I've dealt with these kinds of complaints before. I am consistently getting business advice of all sorts from people, but there is always a good reason for the things I do and don't do. In the very beginning, I responded to every single message I received. I almost had to leave the business because of the stress that kind of time commitment caused.

Oh, and Flyboy, a couple days notice shouldn't be a problem! A lady might not be available if you ask, but I highly doubt that anyone would get annoyed by the request. It is not as though you texted someone and said, "Hey, sweetie, I'm five minutes from your place. Are you free?" My *ahem* official opinion is that it probably isn't you. If it happens with a number of ladies, that's one thing, but it seems that it is just this one. I bet you'll have more luck if you try to find a new lady to spend some time with.
brutusbluto's Avatar
Which one of you guys (all eccie male members) has the courage to list the names of the providers that are not reliable and have poor TCB skills ????????
Originally Posted by cnym
This may be a topic for the locker room??
Doove's Avatar
  • Doove
  • 05-21-2010, 07:29 PM
It's really tough to offer a fully valid opinion without more information, but it sounds like just a simple case of bad luck. It doesn't make much sense that she would ok you on a Thursday, and refuse to see you on a Friday just in and of itself. Though a 2nd "reference" coming back negative in the interim is always a possibility. You might be able to rule that out if you make a gesture to request rescheduling for the future.

But i wouldn't jump to any conclusions simply because she had another appointment that day. It's not really reasonable to expect a girl to not schedule other appointments because you have a feeler out there with her for sometime on Friday. Perhaps the appointment she ultimately did schedule was within the confines of her very narrow window of availability that day. In other words, you can't expect her to turn down a 12:00 with someone while waiting for you, when for all she knows you might have requested a time later in the day when she wasn't available to anyone.

You don't strike me as a guy, Flyboy, who would get blacklisted in any way, which is about the best i can offer.