Haggling/negotiating....

Cpalmson's Avatar
I know this topic might be toxic for some, but it raised a question or two for me after reading the "Provider Priceline" thread.

How prevalent is haggling within the hobby? For me, I've never tried to negotiate services. Most of the providers state upfront that donations are not negotiable, so I honor their request.

For the gals (even those who who state a non-negotiating policy), have you negotiated in the past? If so what are the circumstances?

For the guys, have you ever negotiated or tried to do so? If so, what was the motivating factor?

For both, how about a situation where "extras" are involved?

Finally (and partially a smart-ass question), why do many in the hobby refer to a provider's rates as a "donation"? Therefore, how can a donation be non-negotiable? Just a quirky thought of mine
I haven't done it... if I can't pay the freight, I choose a different shipper...*

H

* I always appreciate discounts after the provider takes a look and begins to feel sorry for me... (that's supposed to be humor)
Mokoa's Avatar
  • Mokoa
  • 05-25-2010, 01:55 PM
Never haggled and never will.

It is not my style.
Hobbyfun's Avatar
I love to haggle but they are rules and times not to haggle

1. The surgeon that's about to operate on you
2. The politician your trying to bribe
3. The lawyer getting you out of trouble
4. Your S.O. after catching you in the hobby
5. The provider your about to see for a good time.

And not necessarily in that order.
  • Bliss
  • 05-25-2010, 02:40 PM
I think it's rude. Especially if you clearly state on your rates page that rates are non-negotiable. I won't even respond to an inquiry if a guy makes a comment about my rates being too high or tries to negotiate.

But.....for a gentleman who has seen me at least twice that I feel very comfortable and at ease with, I offer a regulars rate. At some point during the relationship, I offer the special rate, it is not requested.
guys I did not mean to infer that all hobbiest negotiate or haggle, quite the oposite is the norm. some even go so far as to add to the donation. However there are some that push for reduced prices usually the same ones asking specific questions that make most uncomfortable. What was infered was guys and gals like getting good deals and some , not many tend to envy those that do get lucky so they strive to procure the same or better deal for themselves although the circumstances may not be the same
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
I haven't read the "provider priceline" thread but if you point it out to me, I will.

Oh. I'm going to get pummeled for this but I've allowed for some haggling and negotiation. I completely hate it but I've done it and said yes on more than one occasion.

In the past, long ago and recent, a client will call and say, "I have this much" and it's up to me what I do. Sometimes I say yes and most of the time I do say no.

What makes the difference? Generally, my mood. Other times, it's a client that I really like and he tells me that he wishes to see me but he's a little short this week. Do I completely believe him? Sometimes. Sure.

Do I feel that discussing and negotiating rates is prevalent? Oh yes. It happens all of the time and at all levels of "providing". That, I'm sure of. Do I like it? Not really but I'm completely realistic to a fault. And for some, like myself, I feel that it's not an altogether bad business practice.

I used to be pretty hardcore about saying no but hey ... it's a business. I have met some of my nicest clients by having a little leeway. The only problem that I have with it, is once you've given a little discount, then they NEVER go back to paying the regular rate and you've essentially either really screwed yourself, business wise, or you've basically lost a client.

As far as "extras" go, well no. I don't charge for extras. In other words, if you want something a little extreme and I agree to it, there isn't an up charge. That just isn't the way that I do things. Again, the way that I run my business is probably not for everyone.

So I don't really advise haggling for others when a lady asks. But for me? Oh, live by the sword and all.

Frankly, it's just so much more gracious to NOT haggle, though. It really is. And being with someone who is gracious from the get go will probably garner most men more charm and enjoyment from their dates.

If nothing else, a man who doesn't haggle the price down should at least feel better about himself in the long run. After all, it's our bodies and emotional "self" we're offering, which is a very different then the purchase of a trifle at a garage sell.

Elisabeth
[quote=urhuckleberry;314058]I haven't done it... if I can't pay the freight, I choose a different shipper...*
H
quote]

I started the referred-to "provider priceline" thread- an idea to fill providers' apppointment times that otherwise might go unused. It was intended to invoke discussion - which it has...


H
am-a-pleaser's Avatar
[quote=urhuckleberry;314243]
I haven't done it... if I can't pay the freight, I choose a different shipper...*
H
quote]

I started the referred-to "provider priceline" thread- an idea to fill providers' apppointment times that otherwise might go unused. It was intended to invoke discussion - which it has...

H Originally Posted by urhuckleberry
H, I think the priceline idea has merit. It gives a lady the opportunity to fill unscheduled time if she wishes. No lady has to participate. And if she participate once, it doesn't mean she will all the time. Just like priceline, not all hotels participate.

Regading negociating prices. I generally accept the stated donation. After reading other reviews, I seem to enjoy more mileage than others. I'd like to say it's my good looks and charm, but honestly, I think it's the respect I show.

I choose ladies based on many items. Donation and budget is a consideration. But only one of many things considered. For longer times with a lady I'm interested in, unless she has a donation amount shown for longer times, I generally ask her if she would consider an overnight for X.
jfred's Avatar
  • jfred
  • 05-25-2010, 04:54 PM
...It was intended to invoke discussion - which it has...


H Originally Posted by urhuckleberry
No problem with the question, it gets to the heart of what most are here for -- satisfying commercial sex. Surely the gentleman meant it as a succinct statement of his own philosophy and practice, rather than instruction to you personally. He wouldn't be that rude.

I appreciate Elisabeth's practical attitude. We always talk about men's egos, but Providers have them too, sometimes, i. e. the notion that the very idea that they would have sex for a penny less than their published rate is an egregious insult! E points out the strictly business disadvantage of lowering rates (hard to raise it back) but still doesn't get bent out of shape about it. It may just be her personality, but it may also be a function of (1) a she enjoys the income and (2) she is a sexually adventurous woman.

Personally, I don't remember ever suggesting a discount on a first visit and, even with the one massage gal I see regularly (but infrequently) I'm happy with our arrangement and leave the agreed amount without a thought.

When I hobbied more regularly I'd sometimes go through a phase where I might ask for a little financial relief. I remember one time I was short $50 but went ahead and called BJ. I told her my dilemma and she came over anyway. I think I felt free to do that because we liked each other and (despite my being a little tame for her wilder side ) I believed the sex was mutually enjoyable.

It got interesting when I did the same thing again the next time. She called me out on it right away. Something to the effect of, "You said that last time. I don't really want to make this a habit." And not long afterward I was chatting with a provider when she mentioned that she'd heard that I tried to bargain ladies down. I don't, actually, and I certainly didn't want that reputation. It was a good reminder for me, a lesson actually, and I appreciate the way BJ handled it.

The only way I've known it to work well is when the provider initiates the idea. Then the gentleman can graciously accept or decline, according to what his own ideas might be. And I think that's what Bliss was saying.

It's a good question, though. It is right at the heart of this whole illicit enterprise for any guy who wants to maximize his enjoyment and get along well.
I have a low rate to start out with, for the pure fact that I am merely supporting myself with extras in life with the donation money. It is to replace what I use to make at my old job, not to get rich on. I also advertise specials and reduced rates at least once a month.

I have the belief that my rates are already as low as they should go. Any lower, and I would scare away gentlemen who believes in the old 'you get what you pay for' saying.

Oh yes, and as far as the 'extras' go, I only accept money for allotted amount of time, not for the activities...'extras' are included!
pyramider's Avatar
The main problem I see with Priceline/auction/haggling is the harrassment the provider then has to put up with due to reviews being posted with the discounted rate. Some hobbyists see a big discount and would expect the same. I have heard of men actually harrassing the ladies that just ran a successful ad campaign.
I don't haggle about rates. I think it is rude and against one of the unspoken rules of the hobby.

I think providers have a perfect right to set their own rates. This isn't Mexico and there should be no haggling over those rates.

On the other hand, having set their rates, I don't think providers should vary their rates for any reason, whether it be haggling, a good client, or whatever. Especially if she states in her ads that she doesn't negotiate. I just would like to think I'm paying the same freight as everyone else.

Fair is fair.

Now, I may not be the best looking, buffest or suave hobbiest, but I will be one of the cleanest and basically respectful.

I know as a hobbiest I may not be one of the most desirable of the lot, but my $$$ are just as much coin of the realm as the next hobbiest and I should have the same purchasing power as everyone else.
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
Just curious, Charles ... but if you saw someone and she hadn't charged, say, an outcall fee because it was forgotten in an ad or she hadn't augmented it to reflect that change ... OR, for whatever reason, you actually did get a lower rate than another had received, would you complain about THAT and feel it was unjust?

It's just a philosophical question, of course.

Elisabeth

P.S. Rumor has it that you're just fine in the looks department. After all, I do hear things around the water cooler.
swpaul's Avatar
The main problem I see with Priceline/auction/haggling is the harrassment the provider then has to put up with due to reviews being posted with the discounted rate. Some hobbyists see a big discount and would expect the same. I have heard of men actually harrassing the ladies that just ran a successful ad campaign. Originally Posted by pyramider
i agree here