Not All Money is Good Money

I wasn't sure to put this. So in the interest of irritating my haters I put it here and in D and T.

Ladies, not all money is good money. You have to remember that. Just because it all spends or you may need it, doesn’t mean it’s worth it to see someone that you have a bad feeling about for one reason or another. Sometimes those reasons will be overt, as in a blind man could see it, and sometimes those reasons will be covert like your spidey senses going off. I’m not necessarily talking about some serial killer wanting to wear your skin though it does happen in the Indy World where there’s a physical risk though I’ve not known anyone that has been physically harmed. I’m talking about clients or men that contact you that are hobby lifers, hagglers, time wasters, and the worst clients that are dark knights. These dark knights can affect anything from you mood to your business. Dark knights, being the worst of the set of shitty clients, are clients that go out of their way to hassle, or worse, derail a lady’s business. Everyone knows there’s also those irritating clients that you’d really rather not see, but their money spends so you see them. But, I’m more talking about problem clients or some wanna be client. You know those ones that call you saying, “Baby, I just know I love you, but can you see me for bla-bla.” You wanna say, “NO, I can’t fucking see you for half my rate asshole.”, but you learn to just ignore those wannabes.
Fortunately, about eighty percent of them can be spotted through the introductory and screening phase. The ones that sneak through your screening process and defy your spidey senses, for whatever reason, are the worst ones. And it is important that you deal with them quickly and effectively as much as it will gall you to do so. Because those silently disappointed, post-coital fuckers that dark knight you are the most dangerous to your business.

Catching the ones not to see from the get-go is easy once you get the hang of dealing with the TCB (Taking Care of Business – the correspondence, screening, setting the appointment, etc.) side of the business. Because hobby lifers are a big catch all for many if not all but five percent of the men and categories of men not to see because they are typically hagglers, time waters and in general hanger-oners, I’ll start with them. They’ll try to tell you all kinds of bullshit ranging anywhere from “I just want to hang out with you” to “Baby, I’m going to take care of you”. But the bottom line is: they don’t want to pay and they can’t take care of you. If they could, they wouldn’t be hassling hookers and strippers for a little love, between the sheets lovin’, or whatever the fuck they get out of the game/s they play so stay away from them. Believe it or not these hobby lifer assholes trying to hustle you for whatever isn’t the main reason you want to stay away from them. The number one reason you want to stay away from them is not only do they not want to pay, but they will run their mouth about you when you cut them off. They’re great at talking you up while you are giving them what they want. When they are fat and happy with your sweet attentions, they are driving traffic to your door by flapping their big fat mouths about you. But once you decide you’re done with their bullshit, if you’re lucky, all you’ll be out is your time and and the money you spent picking up the check/s. If you’re unlucky, the dark knight comes out and they shit talk you to the Nth Degree in their private little man-dens where shitty little men talk shit about women they can never have – not that I have an opinion on this one fucking way or another ha-ha and wink-wink. The lifers will of course be off you for good, but the real danger is some potential clients will believe said lifer. And some new, good paying, potential clients may be off you for good too because of the lifer’s rumor mongering and lies. It’s not fair, but that’s the way of it nonetheless.
So best advice starting out, stay off the boards except for your ads, if you choose to run ads on local message boards, and the occasional happy fun-time post or here and there to remind the gentlemen of your presence. Avoid posting prolifically on the boards so the hobby lifers won’t have a chance to develop a repartee with you. However, Once you are established and you know the characters, post away to catch the eye of the lurkers. I personally did a bang up business from the lurkers.
Now let’s pick on the next bunch: the hagglers. They can be a bitch to gauge. If it’s a “How much for an hour?” inquiry, refer him to your website. DO NOT DISCUSS YOUR RATE WITH ANYONE WITHOUT SCREENING THEM. First off, if he’s for real, he’ll give you his screening information. If he’s just some asshole wanting a nice Indy lady for Backpage prices, he’ll blow you off before you get a chance to blow him off. I do not recommend discussing price or negotiating your hourly rate with anyone that you’ve not see at least once. Now if you want to negotiate a new rate with a client that sees you regularly, fine. There’s nothing wrong with a volume discount or grandfathering in old clients when you raise your rates.

The guy that wants to know how much for you to drive to Conroe for two hours and wants to know how much isn’t so much of a haggler but more of an astute consumer that doesn’t really want to pay you for your two hours’ drive time but knows he has to compensate you somehow. (Another option is to get a nice three star minimum hotel half way.) If you have the time and want the money, SCREEN HIM FIRST. UNDER NO CIRUCMSTANCES, DISCUSS RATES WITHOUT SCREENING HIM FIRST. It’s worth going through the trouble to screen this type of client because he’s more than likely a decent enough guy. You just need to decide whether you want the money or not. If you do, don’t tell they guy it’s a four hour minimum because you’ll loose the appointment. If there’s any doubt on his end about the fee, that is if he asks or even mentions pricing for extended engagements or long drive times, get the fee for the extenuating circumstances straight from the get go or don’t see him. As an example, if you’re two hour minimum is $800 run out there and see for a grand or whatever. But not mention anything and at the end of your appointment expect to get paid for four hour rate for a two hour appointment and your drive time. At the very least you’ll lose a potential repeat client. He could write a bad review about you. He could do an alert on you. He could start a thread on a local board about you. Or he could bird dog all your reviews and say nasty things about you.

Time wasters are just that – time wasters. I gave them two questions and if they asked a third, I politely got off the phone with them. I’m not put on the planet to have free phone sex with some asshole.

If you meet with a client that turns out to be a dark knight for whatever reason, it’s important for you to do your best to neutralize him as quickly and quietly as possible. If you know the reason the dark knight has a hard on for you, you can try to address that, head on, BEHIND THE SCENES, with him. That is do not take it to the local hobby message board with him. If he’s super hateful even after you’ve tried to address the issue with him, and if the issue is REALLY no fault of your own, try involving the local moderators to head him and any negative comments he may have off at the pass. If it is a combination of both of your faults, still appealing directly to a FEMALE FRIENDLY moderator can help. Or you can do your best to avoid the dark night or any topics that might incite the dark knight. REMEMBER, YOU WILL NEVER WIN GETTING INTO A PUBLIC MUD SLINGING CONTEST WITH ANYONE LET ALONE A HOBBIEST. Stay out of it other than to say you are very sorry that he, as your former client, feels that way and offer him a refund or whatever amends making gesture you feel meets his needs. If he’s not your client, say you are sorry he feels that way, but make it clear that you two have never met and that your TCB skills were not the cause of the problem/s at hand – AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.

If you have no idea why your dark knight is dogging you around town, you can try appealing to him privately, but that really is the best you can do. Enlisting white knights to help you with a dark horse can backfire. You run the risk of the hobby lifers ganging up on your white knight and you. If that happens, stay the fuck out of it.


Linck is in my sig line.

I wasn't sure to put this. Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

1st sentence? Really?

And after this foul treatment, you expect a reader to slog through the rest of it?

If you don't read what you write, why should anyone else?

I wasn't sure to put this. So in the interest of irritating my haters I put it here and in D and T. Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

I assume your haters don't have access to the Ladies Room or whatever it is called.

I assume your haters don't have access to the Ladies Room or whatever it is called. Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter

... or her fucking blog.

I want to hear more...

Does this mean someone's money is tainted?

I wasn't sure to put this. Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

I want to hear more...

Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

I think she has more to give. She must have cut this one short because she typed it in on her '90s Nokia flip phone.

At 5:34, she could have (should have) edited and just changed it all to wish a mod happy birthday or say something negative about WakeUp.

Can I get this on podcast?

Ol Ho, you seriously need to get a life. Why in the world would anybody want to read any of the crap you write?

Ol Ho, you seriously need to get a life. Why in the world would anybody want to read any of the crap you write? Originally Posted by coolaid

They do. Don't ask me why. Ask them. You know I luvs you don't you.

Holy blocks of text Batman!

I think Powder Room or whatever would be a better spot, not sure what the men can add to the conversation.

.....Ask them. Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

Can you provide a list?....of "them"

Originally Posted by Wombat94

ftfy