I can't stand....

Chaz108's Avatar
being stood up!

I've only been hobbying a little over 3 years and it's only happened to me a handful of times, but it pisses me off!

I'm not going to name names, but I had an appointment with a provider set for yesterday. Less than 2 hours before the appointment, she emails me that she's having trouble with her incall. Can we move our appointment to today? Sure, I can be accomodating. Today comes. I email, call, and text like a good little boy....nothing. Almost an hour after our scheduled time, I get an email that she overslept and that she's sorry.

REALLY?? I mean, it's just common courtesy that when you book an appointment, you keep it! Oh, and by the way, our appointment was scheduled for NOON. Not like it was an early AM appointment like some of our featured gals will provide.

I know the providers have to put up with this nonsense all the time. However, what's the point of checking our references, booking a time, and then blowing us off (NOT in a good way!)?

I'm just pissed, disappointed, and blowing off steam. I did my homework, provided my references, waited patiently, was accomodating, and still got screwed (again, NOT in a good way!).
Happens all the time and more than it should. Professionalism is the key to this and thats why so many providers make the short short list. I always say the hardest thing is never the appointment itself but all the effort and issues going into successfully setting it up and getting down to the actual meeting. Jumping though flaming hoops backwards on a unicycle while balancing nitro on your head at times. Overall communication is the key but even then issues arise leaving you flustered, frustrated and bewildered at times.

I can only say find a regular lady you really click with and be a repeat customer. The old addage "Keep it simple stupid"... Find a lady you like to kiss and then K.I.S.S. Seems to be the only sure bet to not getting as many blow offs and stand up's thrown at you. Plus the references are never thought of if you are a repeat client.
Chaz108's Avatar
I hear what you're saying about finding a regular provider. I do have one that I love to death, but I never want to impose on her time.

In addition, I've been in the mood to "play the field" the last couple of months.

I just can't believe I'm having a hard time getting someone to take my $$! LOL
I know so many flavors of ice cream it's hard to pick just one. But remember it's about consistency not money and it's not just "her" time it's your's too. That's what makes no shows and stand ups so frustrating to me as well... its the loss of My time that I could have spent with someone that I know was worth my time to spend it with.
offshoredrilling's Avatar
I never let that bother me. Or at least try and make that so. It makes up for all the times I called and asked "hay what you doing now you want to go out and do this or that" or if it for BCD time "I need it now, I need it from you now, what time can I come over". So forget about it. Yes easier said than done but you never know.

Yesterday I got a call from a provider, last time we talked was monday August 3, 2009. About what we wanted to do friday August 7 2009. Talked for 1 hour 57 sec. Looked it on on my cell. Started with "sorry for the delay what are you doing today or this weekend". Well today I will be at work but free most of friday and this weekend. "mmmm I thought today was friday." If I can just get away from my SO.
And from there I loved the long talk we had. Really it was great. She retired, that was to be the last met for me. And I was to be the last one for her. So after a year she a provider was still thinking of me. ya it was grrrrrreeeeeeaaaaaatttttt.

Soon I may have to "play the field". From 4 I saw alot at one time. I'm down to about 1 and a 1/2. And the 1/2 is 2 1/4's.

And the providers get this as much as we do, maybe more.
Chaz, I'm sorry that this happened to you. The idea that our time is more valuable than yours is ridiculous, and let me tell you, I was not a very happy lady the one time I was stood up.

I have never stood anyone up, though I can admit that there are circumstances that could make that happen. For example, an emergency situation comes up and I lost my phone just at the wrong moment. I could also be dead. Oversleeping, though? Not good enough.

I hope the next lady you see is a little more appreciative of your business and a little more respectful of your time.
You have every right to be upset, Chaz. It was just plain irresponsibility on her part...especially for a NOON appt! Damn..

I guess the only consolation is that she did send you a note to apologize but that still doesn't take away from the fact that your time was wasted. Heck...she should have offered you one hell of a 'make up' deal!

It must be in the air...just last week I was shorted 100 (he made it right) and the next night...was stood up!! Waited all evening for this traveler and had held that spot for almost a week. It was for an outcall so I had figured in extra drive time, too.
Was in contact the whole time prior..got all prettied up and then nothing.

He did send a note around 11pm saying he got caught up with his business plans. Acted like it was no big deal and next month would be better and he could meet me then. hmmmm ok...but you couldn't excuse yourself for a nano second to use the men's room and call or text me over a 4 hr block of time???? With modern tech today....no excuses anymore. No thanks..I'm sure he got the message in my response back to him.

I could understand a true emergency as I've had a few of them myself a couple of years ago. But I made sure that phone calls were made or another lady was standing by if needed.

It's a two way street of respect ladies....we don't like so don't think the gents do either.

Good luck on your next adventure!
It's a very good point that in this day and age there are many ways to contact a person to inform them of delays or problems etc. Technology makes it very easy to stay on the same page on an almost instant scale. It's very easy to avoid no call/no show situations if both parties are honest and partake of professional communication standards/habits. And I want to clairify that both parties here have time at stake in the matter. True that no one parties time is more important than the others but when two parties have an agreement to share that time and one backs out of that agreement without a valid excuse its outright selfish and rude (a la the dreaded no call/no show). That's basically what I mean when someone wastes your time by their actions making it obvious that they feel "their time" in effect must obviously be more important than another's with their negligent or rude behavior.

True emergencies occur at times which cause unforseen cancelations/delays, it is quite disappointing but can easily forgiven and handled by both parties and thats also understandable.

I think that overall a no call no show almost always is attributed to nerves by one of the two parties...and this usually occurs between two parties that are meeting for the 1st time. One side or the other just gets cold feet, nerves or whatever and just out right flakes. Although I admit being nervous I also stand by the fact that I've never no called no showed myself out of outright courtesy. If I've had to cancel (rarely) I have always given 24 hours notice. On the provider's end a no'call/ no show has been an experience that I've had happen to me on numerous occasions over the years. I don't hold a grudge, I don't ever try to meet with them again either. I usually send them a message thanking them for their time and I leave it on that note. They had their good faith chance to meet and choose to act unprofessionally and I leave it at that.

Granted when it comes to a no call/no show though It's usually 100% one parties fault no matter what and that offending party is bottom line the one to blame 100%. And again with todays level of communication tech it's just not acceptable and one of the most unprofessional things that can be committed by either party when it comes to appointments.

Like I say thats why the short list is so short and the long list is so cluttered. Short list ladies stand out and deserve to be thanked for their steadfast undying professionalism
I could understand a true emergency as I've had a few of them myself a couple of years ago. But I made sure that phone calls were made... Originally Posted by Hanna
dearhunter's Avatar
What idiot would stand up China Doll?

The NCNS information is good to share with your fellow hobbyists.......you don't have to do a special thread to disclose the info.......just be patient and share it when she gets her next review......it is valid information to add to a review.
What idiot would stand up China Doll?

The NCNS information is good to share with your fellow hobbyists.......you don't have to do a special thread to disclose the info.......just be patient and share it when she gets her next review......it is valid information to add to a review. Originally Posted by dearhunter

Thanks, babe!

Dearhunter, you make a good point. As unwarranted as this provider's acitons may have been, I would it would have made me partially discredit Chaz's rant if he had dragged her name through the mud. My only amendment to your post would be that if a review is not posted on the lady for quite some time, perhaps it would be best to at least acknowledge that there may have been enough time for her to clean up her act. I don't know...I might be giving the unprofessional ladies too much credit, but I try to be fair.
Doove's Avatar
  • Doove
  • 07-30-2010, 10:33 PM
What idiot would stand up China Doll? Originally Posted by dearhunter
No clue. But if nothing else, i can at least admire the guy for the level of willpower he must have.
No clue. But if nothing else, i can at least admire the guy for the level of willpower he must have. Originally Posted by Doove
And quite a bit of willpower! He didn't call until three days later to apologize!
And quite a bit of willpower! He didn't call until three days later to apologize! Originally Posted by China Doll
I hope he didn't ask for another appointment! LOL
I hope he didn't ask for another appointment! LOL Originally Posted by Perryay
Of course he did! He has been begging to see me again ever since. He even gave my number out to a friend to have the friend vouch for him because I blocked his number (yes, you read that correctly). The friend said that NCNS guy was a really good guy, and if he gave me an envelope with triple my hourly rate, would I see him again? I politely told him, "Never."

Actually, this was one of the times the dreaded phrase was spoken to me. "Never say never," he chuckled. "After all, it's all about the money, isn't it?"

RAWR!!