Business or pleasure? Business w pleasure ..don't mix business with pleasure..or maybe a pleasurable business???

I've decided to mix business w pleasure and got a new pun...busy-ure. (I hope..lol)
I'm sure in this realm that on one side or both sides, at times emotions or feelings come up. Then it can be just a hot mess and ruin a good relation...its hard for some woman and men not to gain feelings over intimacy. So where and when can that boundary be identified and kept at par before a crazy lady pops out of that sweet gal or a stalker pops out of that once gentleman.

How do you keep feelings from occurring when you know someone for years or became fond of?
I ask this since I had an epiphany happen while I was searching on here what some of the hobbiers find comforting and what they find a disaster.
It was said that some feel like an atm and some feel like they are just treated like a Benjamin yet some say they feel at ease and enjoy the companionship, due to certain things provided...as in showing affection and meaning it, remembering details about them or saying something sweet and thoughtful after the encounter...

As a companion I felt all about the benjies because its business and that's it. I didn't realize there's many more of you who enjoy the personal side. Where as I though its all about the TDL so why be personal? I thought that personal touches or time would make it a possibility to mean something more. What woman don't want a nice put together man?
As a woman I know ...we all know women are emotional creatures.
So I honestly have thought business and pleasure don't mix. That's what I was taught...and experienced.
What's the BEST ways to mix business with pleasure and not cross any lines. How can the thoughts be changed from atm into a lover, as well as a provider not be just some escort,yet as a companion?
WITH NO EMOTIONAL ATTATCHMENT ON EITHER END? I know one thing I've done, that's picking hobbiers that I know I'll enjoy. Rather just for the donation. If I'm doing what I like and it shows, it is better for them..I think..? Gents?
I definitely think I was wrong on my approach so I've got some personal touches I am going to add.. Who will soon see??
I look forward to hearing more likable personal touches and opinions on this. I don't mind constructive criticism as long as its in a PM if its directed to just me.

Interesting. I have learned this is a business, but it doesn't have to be so crude. When my friends/lovers come back to visit I like hearing an update on how they have been etc and the beauty of these trusty micro friendships is that we can vent to one another. I never cross the line by going out. I don't even entertain that idea and I have been hurt in the past by this. Not only did I inflict emotional pain I lost a few really good clients. So now, if they want to see me my incall is where my place of business is. On extended stays especially out of town, on some permissable occasions do I do go out to dinner,sightsee, etc depending on the connection we have. The arrangement is always discussed prior to and rules established. It's safer for both of us! My friends/lovers come back because we personally mesh and sexually too. They know I won't see them again unless we do and that is where the atm status disapears. I never throw out lines for them to come and see me and to be honest what u said about doing what u love is key..the energy between u two is real!
Better believe they will decipher if u are just mechanical or you are truly that lustful naughty vixen..i like to say im like a violin,learn how to play me! I love building on my friendships...as familiarity is better for me and once they have me unlocked they get more!!(especially more pse activities, time,discounts,etc)
So....finally lol...my point is, with emotional and sexual interaction the product is a gratifying friendship that will last. No critism here just an opinion on what I do to make "work" NOT feel like work.

I can vouch for AA, she's amazing and we have had some good times

..... trusty micro friendships..... Originally Posted by AutumnAngel

Very well put. It is very difficult to keep the right balance between distance and closeness. I have noticed that I did not make follow up appointments with girls that I thought were just really cool, because I liked them and was afraid it would get weird. I am a happy single and certainly not looking for a relationship but I tend to get emotionally attached easily because, frankly, some of the providers are not only sexy but really nice persons. So I try to fall in love only for 60 minutes LOL.

One provider put it nicely in her signature: No relationship should last more than one or two hours!

Well honestly I asked this out of confusion when a good friend/cliente abruptly ...literally asked to come as usual and I accepted his visit yet right after he left said that he was sorry. I was like for what?? What happened.. He mentioned not being able to have feelings. I was lost kinda I didn't realize things were not good and we talked so well that it was unexpected. I felt like I'd done something wrong ..this was honestly a first time that I've came across this situation. I had realized that I was hurt and yet couldn't be since its just a business. I wasn't trying to push it and let it be. Then he messaged me and was kinda acting back to normal. I miss his friendship so in excitement I was ready to catch up and then he did it again. So I just had to reevaluate what boundaries I have to make..to keep from being hurt.I lost a friendship but a client and what it boils down to that's all he was. I may be thinking to deep or it hit me deeper then feelings, but a matter of wondering how I got there to be pondering so much about it.
So I was just skimming through on how to be personal with the clients but not personal ..and not be fake without getting personal...lol Idk. I need more lady friends! I am open minded and enjoy your opinion AutumnAngel. Only we never went out before he did give me a ride to the grocery store and back ...his offer not mine. That's why I'm confused. ...but still got a sexy smile on my face...thanks.

Interesting. I have learned this is a business, but it doesn't have to be so crude. When my friends/lovers come back to visit I like hearing an update on how they have been etc and the beauty of these trusty micro friendships is that we can vent to one another. I never cross the line by going out. I don't even entertain that idea and I have been hurt in the past by this. Not only did I inflict emotional pain I lost a few really good clients. So now, if they want to see me my incall is where my place of business is. On extended stays especially out of town, on some permissable occasions do I do go out to dinner,sightsee, etc depending on the connection we have. The arrangement is always discussed prior to and rules established. It's safer for both of us! My friends/lovers come back because we personally mesh and sexually too. They know I won't see them again unless we do and that is where the atm status disapears. I never throw out lines for them to come and see me and to be honest what u said about doing what u love is key..the energy between u two is real!
Better believe they will decipher if u are just mechanical or you are truly that lustful naughty vixen..i like to say im like a violin,learn how to play me! I love building on my friendships...as familiarity is better for me and once they have me unlocked they get more!!(especially more pse activities, time,discounts,etc)
So....finally lol...my point is, with emotional and sexual interaction the product is a gratifying friendship that will last. No critism here just an opinion on what I do to make "work" NOT feel like work. Originally Posted by AutumnAngel

Thank you AutumnAngel...that's where my confusion began..I haven't gone "out" with him. I don't do that either. So that's why I was lost. I mean I understand because I have to I just got all up in my feelings and it sucked. That a hobbies wants us to make things personal but when they are done they are and its hard to lose what I considered a friend. I will definitely try and keep it less personal on my behalf in the future I guess. I like your reply.

title is perfect.

business like no other.

sounds simple, until you involve people in the equation.

Ok I'm understanding more clearly...just so u know ive been there too hunny..and ive just maintained that the lines are best not blurred. It can get so darn confusing tho, right? So theres a few ways that come to mind that you can keep your friend and client.
Just try to keep your visits light hearted..laugh,light topics,and drowned in sex appeal. Also, I would cap visits if feelings seem to be developing. For example,instead of weekly jump to every other week maybe, so its not too often that you see one another. This will protect both parties. Another thing, dont chit chat via text,email or whatever so much unless you actually have a visit. This has been tough for me personally.
In sessions, I had to learn not too talk so damn much! Lol. I make sure they get me to shut up quickly now lol..

Ahhh..its a tough balance, sms918 said it..people are just complex.

I was all about the above until I started hobbying abroad (as in overseas, not a gender misapplication) where the hobby is perfectly legal and I was amazed at how affectionate and open the providers were - not only about their sexual needs, but their lives, their families, failed relationships, great ones they were in, etc.

In short, they treated me like a whole person, not just an erection with a wallet attached. I saw one provider in Quebec exclusively for almost four years. I mean exclusively on my part - I would not have sex with any other lady, either in or outside the hobby. I really didn't care about what she was doing, and if I really wanted to ramp up the jealousy factor all I had to do was Google her name as she was an active porn star at the time. But curiously, I didn't get jealous in any way, because when I was with her, all of her attention was on me. I would schedule multi-hour appointments, and if my appointment ended near lunch time or dinner time I would invite her to join me as a courtesy. She always joined me, off the clock, and I remember sitting across a dinner table from her in a pretty nice restaurant when she ran her fingers through her long, thick brunette hair and innocently said, "Oh, I have some of your come in my hair." as if she was mentioning the weather.

As Marlene Dietrich (Google her) once said, "In the United States, sex is an obsession, in the rest of the world, it is just a fact." Truer words were never spoken.

We obsess, we make ourselves schizophrenic over the "line" when the "line" is there because of our mid-evil laws that make the hobby illegal and make us have to be guarded about our identities, our lives, and our sexuality.

On my first trip to Germany I stopped in the first small town I came to to use the public toilet. (Something we do not have enough of in the US.). As I was urinating at a trough-like receptacle, a slender, 40-something lady walked in and started cleaning the restroom. I rushed, zipped up, and got back to my (native) travel companion, who explained that that was the "putzfrau" or cleaning lady, and she couldn't care less about the fact that I was whizzing in her presence.

In France I stepped into a stall in a public restroom at a Metro station and while I was sitting, I heard the unmistakable click-click of high heels as the stall door next to me closed, Under the partition I could see her very fashionable high heels, her narrow ankles, and the skirt come down as she sat and engaged in the same activity I was engaged in.

In Luxembourg at a streetside cafe after eating lunch and having a beer, I went inside to use the restroom, and there were two doors next to one another, one marked "Damen" (Ladies) and one marked "Herren" (Men). I went through the door marked Men and found myself in one large unisex restroom!

On a trip to the Netherlands 4 years ago, as the national soccer team made it into the quarter finals, the city put up the jumbo TV screens on all sides of the wide grassy esplanade next to the Van Gogh Museum. It was a bright, sunny, summer afternoon, and complete families were camped out on the grass, cheering the national team. As the day warmed , the ladies (of all ages) removed their tops and went topless, and nobody batted an eyelash, except for me! (I put on my mirrored sunglasses.)

My current ATF is on the far north side of Dallas, about 6 hours one way. Since last November, I have driven round trip three times to see her, and she is planning to come down at the end of the month to spend a weekend with me. Only the time engaged in actual sex will be "on the clock", the rest of the weekend, as she put it, "will be spent with my lover who knows me so well". She is German, married to an American, and has two pre-teen daughters.

I know some of this sounds like its from another planet, and I'd really like to kidnap Ken Paxton and tie him up and leave him in the restroom of a Paris disco so maybe he'll get over his homophobia, or get in touch with his inner feminine side, or whatever....

My point is we draw these artificial lines around ourselves, build emotional walls as high as we can, and why? Because our archaic laws force us to think that we are criminals and we are immediately on the defensive.

I am glad for the gift that I have had of travel that I have had, grateful beyond belief for the ladies I have met overseas who were so comfortable with their sexuality that they helped me accept mine!

Chill out, enjoy each other's company. If you are so afraid of crossing "the line" (both providers and hobbyists), how are you able to validate and appreciate each other's sexuality and humanity? The alternative is that freak show that passes for the Austin Eccie boards - misogyny that makes Donald the Rump look like the ultimate WK!

Ladies, enjoy the man you are with. If "that little voice" tells you that something is wrong, upgrade to a better class of client. Gentlemen, enjoy the lady you are with. If that "little voice" tells you that she has the usual "issues", upgrade to a better provider. They are out there - on both sides. And when you meet them, you wonder why you wasted all the time and money you wasted on the US version of the "hobby".

I'm going to STFU now. I hope you all enjoy your lives and the company of the people YOU CHOOSE to be with!

I love the fact I was even thinking about it while reading about all the fun stories about the restrooms.. Thanks for sharing it would be really great if we could all be open and enjoy life's body, that has so many pleasures to explore to many expectations ..I agree we shouldn't be worried about crossing "the line". I would like to know where's the best place to go live free and naked Mr. Anonymous01 since you seem to have seen a lot..��

It's hard for providers to have relationships outside the hobby. I wonder if any girls would be interested in guys providing a 'BFE' service to satisfy their relationship needs just as providers provide a service satisfy our sexual needs.

trippplextc8:

Northern Germany (Hamburg, Lubeck) or Denmark. I remember one trip to Denmark where some electronic I had ran out of batteries, and my host told me to go down the block to the drug store, and even though it was closed, they had a vending machine built into the wall so I could buy batteries. I found it, and along with batteries, I could have bought a whole bunch of sex toys from the same machine!

As Marlene Dietrich (Google her) once said, "In the United States, sex is an obsession, in the rest of the world, it is just a fact." Truer words were never spoken.

I am glad for the gift that I have had of travel that I have had, grateful beyond belief for the ladies I have met overseas who were so comfortable with their sexuality that they helped me accept mine.

Ladies, enjoy the man you are with. If "that little voice" tells you that something is wrong, upgrade to a better class of client. Gentlemen, enjoy the lady you are with. If that "little voice" tells you that she has the usual "issues", upgrade to a better provider. They are out there - on both sides. And when you meet them, you wonder why you wasted all the time and money you wasted on the US version of the "hobby".

Originally Posted by Anonymous01

I have often tried to describe the difference in how Spaniards and Americans view sexuality.

Purrrsia and I were at the beach in Spain recently. She was surprised when I told her she could go topless without a problem. She was surprised, but, what she was mostly amazed by, was a lady that was next to us.... topless, playing with her young child.

Thank you for sharing!

Besos,
Francisca

...Purrrsia and I were at the beach in Spain recently. She was surprised when I told her she could go topless without a problem. She was surprised, but, what she was mostly amazed by, was a lady that was next to us.... topless, playing with her young child... Originally Posted by Ms Francisca

Not long ago, on Facebook, I saw a post by someone, complaining that his wife had been told by management at a resort hotel pool (in Tennessee, of course) that her swim suit bottom was too revealing, and therefore inappropriate at a family pool; and that she needed to cover up with a towel. He included photos.

I expected to see "The Mrs." wearing a thong. She wasn't; she simply had an ample, attractive behind; and her butt cheeks were protruding slightly past the seams.

Alas, the prudery of God-Fearing 'Murica!

(On a separate topic: Glad you ladies had a blast touring Andalusia.)

Thank you Bush Pilot! Muchos besos!