Providers and responding to emails.

I had the chance to travel into Big D recently (I have to drive for over an hour to get there) and sent out several emails in hopes of meeting up with a provider while I was in town. Of the 8 or so I sent out (thru P411), I got responses from 3. I'm sure there could be any number of legitimate reasons why a provider would ignore an email inquiry, though I'm not sure what they are. I've found that for some providers, you can ask any questions you have and they get back to you very quickly, but that appears to be the exception and not the rule.

Can the ladies here tell me why a provider might be inclined to blow off an email (other than just being too lazy to check them in the first place)? I'd be interested if there is some kind of etiquette that could be followed which will increase the likelihood of a response. Thanks.
Can the ladies here tell me why a provider might be inclined to blow off an email (other than just being too lazy to check them in the first place)? Originally Posted by luckyjax
1. It went to spam and she did not get it.
2. Perhaps you asked questions that were inappropriate and it spooked her.
3. She is out of town and not checking emails.
4. She is busy with real life situations, family around, etc.
5. She checked you out and found something she did not like or found you on an alert list and opted not to respond.
6. Maybe her and her girlfriends talk to each other and they realize you sent the same request to multiple ladies for the same appt. slot and they are all laughing at you.

I could go on.....
MuffinMan's Avatar
I'd have to say it depends on the overall tone and politeness of your email and also what types of questions you were asking. Do you wish to share a generic, no names involved sample of of the email? Also, how long did you wait for a reply? Many ladies here are very busy with both the real world and the hobby world.
Maybe we can help if you give us enough information.
MM

(just saw Meg had posted after I typed. See pretty well summed it up!)
Post the email you're sending out and it might be easier to diagnose your problem.
I sent them through P411 and didn't copy myself. They were pretty generic. Stated when I would be in Dallas and asked about availability. Sent them Wednesday about a Friday appointment. But I'm not really looking for an analysis of what I sent, but more an idea of what kinds of questions, language, or whatever generally lead to a better response rate.

Thanks for the answers so far. To HH, is it a funny thing when a client asks several ladies about availability? How many is too many? Thanks.
Well you sent out 8. Did you send them all out at the same time or did you wait for a no response from one or two then move on? If you sent it out in a mass mailing, then they may have been comparing notes.
I'm not clear if you were just generally inquiring about availability or if you were actually asking for an appointment. If you were just asking questions ("are you available Friday?"), then some providers might think you're just a window shopper. Certainly between a guy asking "are you available Friday" and a guy asking "can I meet you for one hour on Friday at 7:00 pm for an incall?," I suspect the second gets a better response rate. Polite and to the point, IMHO, works best. Realize that there are lots of guys who just like communicating with providers without scheduling or who may eventually schedule but still like a lot of back and forth communications. Some providers are OK with that. Others, especially the most popular providers, have more requests than they can handle and will respond to the guys who are the least trouble to schedule with.
Judge Smails's Avatar
Ok Hotlips, those are all fair points, but if none apply other then point 5, then why no answer?

Regarding your point 6, if he has limited time or a big drive to get to DFW, why wouldn't he toss out multiple emails? Surely you would agree with his desire for some level of certainty. If you sent/ waited/ sent/waited/, etc, it could take forever. As long as he does not cancel last minute or worse, NCNS, seems to be within his rights.

Now if he launches an email strike the day of the need, OK that may be a bit unfair, but that is not specified.

I guess thats why Dallas amps are always a useful Plan B.... or just post an ISO as is done here and see who PM's him.



1. It went to spam and she did not get it.
2. Perhaps you asked questions that were inappropriate and it spooked her.
3. She is out of town and not checking emails.
4. She is busy with real life situations, family around, etc.
5. She checked you out and found something she did not like or found you on an alert list and opted not to respond.
6. Maybe her and her girlfriends talk to each other and they realize you sent the same request to multiple ladies for the same appt. slot and they are all laughing at you.

I could go on..... Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan
If you sent/ waited/ sent/waited/, etc, it could take forever. Originally Posted by Judge Smails
It does take forever. It is just the nature of the game. My rule is that I send and then wait for 72 hours. If I do not receive a response within that time frame--time to move on. To me it indicates something is amiss, one way or the other.

One thing I would recommend: Ladies, in my experience, do not like to waste time by responding to general requests about availability. Pick a date and time, and put it in the subject line of the email. Never, never, never send an identical request for a time to more than one provider. That is just rude and put yourself in their position if you do not believe it. Maybe different times on the same day . . . but never the exact same time, unless you disclose to one you might want to make them a plan B.

I sort of "map out" my hobbying days. Make a list of ladies and times, and prioritize all of them, start about 10 days out instead of two--these methods have served me well. Sometimes I have to gently respond to the provider who responds after five days "I am sorry ma'am, but I have made other arrangements." I have also had providers respond after about ten days (after the date/appt. time I requested) "sorry it took me so long to respond, but would you like to see me tomorrow?" Uh, no thank you. I choose not to reward poor service, but that is just me. You have to figure out what works for you.

Good luck and safe hobbying.

Woody
berkleigh's Avatar
Speaking from my experience......

I check my email and pm's quite often throughout the day.

If I do have an email where someone is can not speak to me in the proper manner, I usually don't respond...or if I do, I am not very nice.

I don't like when someone can't follow instructions when its in plain site in front of them. *shakes head*

Often, some guys don't read the requirements of what some of us ladies ask for in order to get screened.

I personally appreciate those men who actually take the time to provide all the neccessary infomation so that screening and booking can be done quickly.

I am low volume now, but always try to stay on top of my business.
Ok Hotlips, those are all fair points, but if none apply other then point 5, then why no answer?

Regarding your point 6, if he has limited time or a big drive to get to DFW, why wouldn't he toss out multiple emails? Originally Posted by Judge Smails
Honey, I don't know why. I can't answer for other ladies. I could only answer for myself had he emailed me and I didn't respond but he didn't lol

He asked for possible reasons, I gave them to him.
DownForWhatever's Avatar
Actually...3 out of 8 sounds like a pretty typical response rate...especially considering that you had a specific day picked. Many ladies don't check their emails as well as they should and may not have gotten yours until after your "due date" had passed.

I think its funny when I get responses...like 3 weeks after I've already been and gone from a city.
Chica Chaser's Avatar
I am under the impression that almost all of you ladies have a smartphone (iPhone, Blackberry, etc) that can receive emails from your business email account, pretty much instantaneously. Even to your personal phone. So convenient when your are away from your computer with instant response back to your client.

If not, it may be something you might consider investing in and would eliminate many of these "she never responded to my email request" complaints.
I, like Berkleigh, check e-mails and PMs throughout the day so it's very rare for me not to get back to you at least within a few hours. Once I screen a guy he gets my phone # and then he can call or text if he wishes.
Depends on who you e-mail, some providers are that way, and seemingly selective on who they see. No, not all providers have pda phone unfornately.