The hobby ruining future domesticated life of unfulfilled sexual desires?

OK hobbying has been mostly great looking back, but now I'm starting to realize the great mind blowing sex and fetishes offered really don't exist outside paid for sex work. Now I'm worried, because I can't find a S/O in civvy life that's sexaully gratifying with what I like. Most normal civvy women aren't into all the great sex and particulars you can get in the hobby world. I'm sure there are a few freaks in the sheets civvy women out there, but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. I don't know how I can find them. Is the only way out of this is to date, settle down with, or marry a provider or pornstar or former one? It's so fun, but I didn't think I would need to see and pay for an escort for the rest of my life lol. Am I doomed to a life of boring bland sex for the rest of my life without the hobby?

Try fetlife or you just have a personal problem.

This reminds me why the P4P adage that time with erotic service providers actually costs less than long term romantic partnerships is so true.

Hmmmmm...I haven't found that to be true. Now, first night with a civvie girl you aren't going to say "bend your ass into a pretzel and meow "PAPI" to me...but over time you can get what you want"

Most girls have a desire to get a bit freaky, you just have to work up to it over time.

Me being fairly vanilla, I just haven't seen it be much of a problem. AND there is the civvie benefit of clock really NOT being in play.

so I try hard to balance my play between hobby & civvie...not looking for a SO & I consider that a benefit.

Try fetlife or you just have a personal problem. Originally Posted by FirePhoenix

I'll try but I didn't see too many currently active people, especially females in Texas in general., even in the major cities.

This reminds me why the P4P adage that time with erotic service providers actually costs less than long term romantic partnerships is so true. Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

I wouldn't be surprised haha, but do you really wanna go through the hassle of setting up an incall/outcall every night? I guess I could try the sugarbaby thing, find a very open one, and see if something long term and more normal can develop from that.

Hmmmmm...I haven't found that to be true. Now, first night with a civvie girl you aren't going to say "bend your ass into a pretzel and meow "PAPI" to me...but over time you can get what you want"

Most girls have a desire to get a bit freaky, you just have to work up to it over time.

Me being fairly vanilla, I just haven't seen it be much of a problem. AND there is the civvie benefit of clock really NOT being in play.

so I try hard to balance my play between hobby & civvie...not looking for a SO & I consider that a benefit. Originally Posted by Toyz

You got a great benefit if you are fairly vanilla and not even looking for a SO. Maybe I can learn to be happy with vanilla sex, but it's gonna be a big step down lol. Yeah the clock is a annoying too, you can't just do stuff for multiple multiple extended hours or all night long most nights, that would bankrupt you fast lol. Eventually people start questioning what are you doing with your life, when you always show up with no SO ever. It's like what are you doing seeing hookers? You never have a love interest around lol. Hope you're right about the over time thing.

Providers have discovered something that not all RW girls have. I can't answer your question objectively, but I do know that sexuality tends to be a lot more complex in the female psyche than it is for men. Your psyche will likely catch up with you and then you could decide later what would work for you. Some intrinsic exploration on the matter, the why's and why nots, may help. Looks like for now you've found the most convenient (and IMO the smartest) way to get your personal desires fulfilled with no strings attached or need to be reciprocate of the other person besides cold hard cash. And yes, fetlife would probably be your second best bet.

You got a great benefit if you are fairly vanilla and not even looking for a SO. Maybe I can learn to be happy with vanilla sex, but it's gonna be a big step down lol. Yeah the clock is a annoying too, you can't just do stuff for multiple multiple extended hours or all night long most nights, that would bankrupt you fast lol. Eventually people start questioning what are you doing with your life, when you always show up with no SO ever. It's like what are you doing seeing hookers? You never have a love interest around lol. Hope you're right about the over time thing. Originally Posted by galaxon00

Vanilla is a subjective word Galaxon. From what I've been told, most of us are fairly basic. I said basic, not boring...every position, every room, public sex, car sex, an occasional "damn did we get drunk and do anal"?. , some light bondage and spanking for fun type vanilla. That sort of vanilla. not just Kiss/Head/Missionary.

And I've been married and in committed relationships...never say never, but just not motivated by that right now. I have different women for different pleasures. Got my hiking chick, my movie chick, my concert chick(s)...so you can cobble together the BEST of a SO relationship without the negatives. But it does take a lot of work.

Disseration over...sorry its the coffee talking.

Now, jade and other girls for hire will try to convince you that you have to stay "in hobby" for all your erotic and erectic desires...but its just not true.

They are handy...and serve a purpose though, I agree.

The really freaky shit I'm not into

Every Thursday at the Hideout Fetlife have meetings make an account with Fetlife go on Thursday from 9pm to 12am. Make some new friends. Believe you find what you are looking for once the drinks are flowing. Galaxon00

Providers have discovered something that not all RW girls have. I can't answer your question objectively, but I do know that sexuality tends to be a lot more complex in the female psyche than it is for men. Your psyche will likely catch up with you and then you could decide later what would work for you. Some intrinsic exploration on the matter, the why's and why nots, may help. Looks like for now you've found the most convenient (and IMO the smartest) way to get your personal desires fulfilled with no strings attached or need to be reciprocate of the other person besides cold hard cash. And yes, fetlife would probably be your second best bet. Originally Posted by JadeRose

Thanks for all the advice. I love the hobby and I'll keep at on fetlife too

Vanilla is a subjective word Galaxon. From what I've been told, most of us are fairly basic. I said basic, not boring...every position, every room, public sex, car sex, an occasional "damn did we get drunk and do anal"?. , some light bondage and spanking for fun type vanilla. That sort of vanilla. not just Kiss/Head/Missionary.

And I've been married and in committed relationships...never say never, but just not motivated by that right now. I have different women for different pleasures. Got my hiking chick, my movie chick, my concert chick(s)...so you can cobble together the BEST of a SO relationship without the negatives. But it does take a lot of work.

Disseration over...sorry its the coffee talking.

Now, jade and other girls for hire will try to convince you that you have to stay "in hobby" for all your erotic and erectic desires...but its just not true.

They are handy...and serve a purpose though, I agree.

The really freaky shit I'm not into Originally Posted by Toyz

OK cool I get it I didn't mean vanilla as a slight, just yeah more basic haha. Wow you got a chick for each different activity you wanna do around ATX haha, nice. That's a lot of phone numbers I like both the hobby and RW stuff, It'd just be nice to have a non transactional option on the table when it came to sexual stuff I like, but I'll keep looking. I do both, and mix and match, both worlds. I even like bringing providers to public civvy stuff like concerts, I don't know if many providers saw my request thread for that, but yeah I need a +1 to go see Drake next week in Austin, got tickets already, and maybe Kanye and ACL after that, because I have no SO lol.

Every Thursday at the Hideout Fetlife have meetings make an account with Fetlife go on Thursday from 9pm to 12am. Make some new friends. Believe you find what you are looking for once the drinks are flowing. Galaxon00 Originally Posted by BadBoyForLife69

Thanks I'll do that

Funny I am at the very beginning stages of trying to get my SO of 20 yrs to open up her "menu" if you will. She's pretty vanilla and its going to be a tall order to turn her into what I want. Right now the biggest challenge is just trying not to use hobby language lol. Wish me luck.

Sorry OP, you have it exactly backwards, in reality, It's the future domesticated life that will ruin lobbying and sexual fulfillment.

It is an inescapable fact for 90% of men, so there's no need worrying about it.

A provider, even a girlfriend to an extent knows she's got to give something to get something, a wife, thanks to the legal system knows she doesn't have to give a damned thing to get half, end of story.

If you doubt it, try telling your favorite provider that she's gotten all the donations from you she's going to get and see how ready she is to set another appointment.