Funny post. 7 types of guys at the club

7 The newbie

Young men, there will inevitably be a time where a trip to the strip club is your first. Some, like myself, describe it as paradise. Others say it’s like a land filled with milk and honey. Either way, cherish that moment. You’ll be nervous, you’ll be afraid to stare, but fear not young lad. The price of admission gives you the unalienable right to ogle at your leisure. Pretty sure I saw that in the Bill of Rights.

6 The bachelor party
No bachelor party is complete without a heavily inebriated trip to a gentleman’s club. This group is impossible to miss. They travel at least 10 deep and nary a one of them is sober. Often times the bachelor is thrown on stage amidst a throng of strippers and you’ll see more of him than you’d ever hoped for. Moreover, if all of you leave together and somehow make it back to the hotel alive, consider it a miracle.

5 The A-holes that bring women
Shame on you, shame on all of you who have ever considered bringing a woman to our domain. If by chance, your wife ever asks you if she can join you at the strip club, the first word out of your mouth should be “Divorce”. Plain and simple. We go to see half-naked women and get away from our significant others. The last thing any of us want to see is your stupid wife/girlfriend in her mom jeans telling you not to ogle.

4 The wife beater
Inevitably, you’ll run into this guy almost every time you walk in to a club. He parades around in a wife beater or tank top in the lame hopes that his tatted up arm will catch the strippers attention (as if the ladies care about anything but money). Listen buddy, I came to see scantily clad strippers. Is it too much to ask to throw on a t-shirt, perhaps even a polo?

3 The creepy dude who comes by himself
It’s ok to stare, it’s even ok to gawk at the women. But when the bouncer comes over because you poke, prod, and fondle every stripper that walks by you and otherwise scare the hell out of the rest of the patrons, that’s a problem. Thankfully, these types of guys travel by their lonesome, so kicking them out without causing too much of a scene isn’t a problem. Here’s an idea buddy, rent a **** and go to town. Keep the creepy stuff to the sanctity of your own home.

2 The business suit guys
For some reason, this type of guy was often associated with horny Japanese businessmen. But as time goes on, others have picked up on this popular fad. Whether you make $200k a year or even $20k, dressing the part at the strip club helps in getting extra special attention from the ladies. Because surely, a man in flip-flops and shorts doesn’t nearly have the same, how shall we say, je ne sais quoi, that a man in fine Italian silk has.

1 The sports watcher
Unfortunately, we’ve all been there. A buddy has a bad week and he drags you (although, not much convincing is needed) for a night of adult entertainment. By man law, you’re obligated to go. And while you love the ladies, you find yourself peeking at that basketball game that you dropped 100 bucks on. Don’t fret, this doesn’t mean you bat for the other team (not that there’s anything wrong with that). If this happens less than 10% of the time, you’re in the clear. Otherwise, your friends may have to question your loyalty.

Taken from below link. A boxing link

https://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=545260

I'm #3..

well, that is the closest number that describes me.. it's exaggerated as Hell, but still funny.

I remember being #7. I was really nervous my first few visits. Then I got fairly comfortable with a club, but was still nervous when I went to a new one. Then one day I got up the nerve to to try out BDD. I was terrified, because somehow, from reading online, I felt it had an intimidating reputation. After a few visits, something weird happened -- I became a regular, and it became like my second home. A long journey, but some of it still seems like yesterday.

I'm still probably #3. I've always gone by myself, but I hope I'm not too creepy.

#1. I was reeeeeeaaaaaallllll bad about that in the 90's. I went to the club one time that used to be on 360 and Abrams I think by the train tracks; I went in and literally told the manager I just wanted to watch the Texas Tech football game. He stuck me up in the corner and a waitress kept my Dr Pepper full.
The only difference is I do this by myself.

If you do it right in TX you’ll be happy being a 3!

I remember one night, many years ago, upstairs in Million Dollar Saloon. There was a women's volleyball tournament on the TV. The dancers were NOT HAPPY that I and another guy were watching the TV and not them.

In our defense, this was a championship-level tourney, and those girls were GOOD volleyball players.

Not enough choices. I don't see myself fitting into these categories.

#8 - The "I know the manager" guy - waltzes in, says he doesn't have to pay cover ("Leo" will vouch for me), tips a couple of bucks but never buys dances, bums a few drinks from other patrons he sits next to at the bar, then starts bragging he could take any of these dancers back to his place for free if he wanted to. (Mainly a pre-50s version of creeper guy).

#9 - The "rain" guy. Usually at the BYOB club after 2 a.m. Flat-billed cap, under 30, soccer shirt, sits at a table with three or four other dudes, with maybe one chick with fake eyebrows in tow. Drinks fireball shots, and will get up to throw a $10 stack of ones on a stripper's ass or on her crotch while she's spread eagle. He jumps around all night to Big Sean ("I don't fuck with you!"). In the end spends about $40 tops, but feels like he's running the club like El Chapo would.

#10 - the gawker - Spends most of his time wandering around where people are getting dances to see if he can catch some activity.

The loser.
A guy who can't get to VIP even when he puts Benjamins in his collar as bait.
Last time I was in a club (January), I told the manager it was my last time. He bet me double or nothing I'd be back. I haven't yet figured out what he's supposed to owe me.
Life is much better now.

#11 The guy who wants the stripper to be his wife - the girls laugh at him, though it does happen...

I remember being #7. I was really nervous my first few visits. Then I got fairly comfortable with a club, but was still nervous when I went to a new one. Then one day I got up the nerve to to try out BDD. I was terrified, because somehow, from reading online, I felt it had an intimidating reputation. After a few visits, something weird happened -- I became a regular, and it became like my second home. A long journey, but some of it still seems like yesterday.

I'm still probably #3. I've always gone by myself, but I hope I'm not too creepy. Originally Posted by billw1032

#12

What about the stripper boyfriends lurking in the shadows try to convince himself that his girls job doesn't bother him.

I’d add The Rich Old Man to that list. Has accumulated enough wealth that dropping $500-1,000 per day on a dancer just for conversation had no impact on his lifestyle. Is looking to overcome a sense of loneliness or make up for a misspent life of regret. Will tie up the hottest girls in the club all day and leave them with inflated sense of the value of their time. Usually have a limited run of several months to a year in the club before they completely vanish.

I’d add The Rich Old Man to that list. Has accumulated enough wealth that dropping $500-1,000 per day on a dancer just for conversation had no impact on his lifestyle. Is looking to overcome a sense of loneliness or make up for a misspent life of regret. Will tie up the hottest girls in the club all day and leave them with inflated sense of the value of their time. Usually have a limited run of several months to a year in the club before they completely vanish. Originally Posted by TomCollins

No, I just go to a different club for the variety.

Plus, I get tired of them after awhile. (I fuck them first, of course)