How strict is to strict?

Hi there ladies and gents. I'm just curious on your feed back

How strict is to strict on the rules a provider sets?

Example: When I have an appointment, I only give my general area of where I am and I wont give my addy until him leaving his location. Also, just to be discreet, I ask the guys to call when they get close and I will give them my room number. I do this, to prevent any unneeded hanging around the parking lot.

Well, today, I had a guy totally ignore my request. Shows up 15 early and lurks around the parking lot. At this point, I'm going to high alert. Boundaries are set for a reason and when you start ignoring them from the get go is never a good sign. I let him know, it was not cool to do that and that I asked for discretion (it's for US both). Needless to say, he didn't attempt to apologize or explain and I didn't end up giving him my room number. A total waste of time for us both.

So, do you think that is to strict? I've learned from the past that when a guy shows he is not that concerned about your discretion, he isn't going to be that concerned about how he treats you.

So, in your book, when is strict being to strict?


For the record. He did have a p411 with a few okays.

How did he know where to "hang out"? Was he five minutes early or 15 or 30? Your rules don't seem too strict as long as you are clear about when it's OK for them to be at your incall. If you don't want them to be in the parking lot prior to the appointment time, just tell them so they can lurk somewhere down the street.

need a little more information to answer best.. I can say that often a Guy will show up early to scope the parking lot.. he is looking out for his own safety, assessing risk, looking for strange people like Pimps wandering around, people going in and out of rooms (perhaps yours?).. in this case, it doesn't reflect on you and your wish to be careful, he is trying to do the same..

He was 15 mins early and when I asked him if he was in the parking lot, he didn't reply right away.

5 mins, early, I would have been a little irked but 15 mins of hanging around a parking lot is super shady in my book.

need a little more information to answer best.. I can say that often a Guy will show up early to scope the parking lot.. he is looking out for his own safety, assessing risk, looking for strange people like Pimps wandering around, people going in and out of rooms (perhaps yours?).. in this case, it doesn't reflect on you and your wish to be careful, he is trying to do the same.. Originally Posted by Chung Tran

That's understandable and I have zero problems with a quick drive through to check it out. The lurking is what I have a problem with.

I won't see a Provider who tells me to drive to an intersection, has me text her from there and then she gives me the building address. Then I suppose I have to text you again from the parking lot to get the room/apt number? Nope.

Just give me the complete address a couple hours before. You won't see or hear from me until 5 minutes before our appointment, when I text you I'm here. Not much you ladies can do about the early arrivals, except don't text your room number until 5 minutes before.

For me personally, I wouldn't have a problem giving someone like you my addy a couple hours early because you have a very long history on the board but when it is someone with very little history, I tend to use use more caution.

Lurking in my parking lot for 15 mins is NOT cool in my book.

There is no policy too strict as it is your body and comfort level. But, in the situation you are talking about, if you give your location ahead of time and he arrives in the parking lot say 15-20 minutes or more before the session is suppose to begin, stands beside his car or even walks around and lurks, that is good info to share with other providers in the ladies area.

However, if you give directions out 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, then obviously, the session itself is not going to start on time. I have arrived way before time on many occasions, and when I do, I usually go to the c-store in the area and get a drink or something and wait about 10 minutes before time and go back to the parking lot, letting her then know I have arrived and wait in my car for her to give me her room/apt number.

IMO, the time does not start when he gets out of his car or knocks on your door, it starts when BCD activities begin and ends when BCD activities are over. The dead time of chatting beforehand then again showering/getting dressed and chatting afterwards does not count towards BCD time either. If he ends it and leaves before time is up, that is on him.

He had my addy before he left his location. I asked him to call me when he got close to get my room number because I wanted him to be discreet. I figure the less time spent in the parking lot, the better for us both. :-)

Discretion and safety is the name of the game for us all.

Maybe just tell us not to get to the location before 5 minutes prior (or less if that's your preference)?

I won't see a Provider who tells me to drive to an intersection, has me text her from there and then she gives me the building address. Then I suppose I have to text you again from the parking lot to get the room/apt number? Nope.

Just give me the complete address a couple hours before. You won't see or hear from me until 5 minutes before our appointment, when I text you I'm here. Not much you ladies can do about the early arrivals, except don't text your room number until 5 minutes before. Originally Posted by Prolongus

+1 Pro....you summed it up nicely, sir.

I take into consideration driving time ESPECIALLY if its an unfamiliar address / part of town (and in Dallas-Ft Worth that can include many other variables: considering the time of day, traffic congestion due to construction, accidents that create unforeseen delays, etc, etc). My pet peeve is Being Late for anything....(including a session with a hottie).

That said, there are times I may end up arriving well ahead of time...no big deal imo. Knowing where I need to be (hotel, apartment complex, home, etc) is paramount, IMO. I've no issue with waiting in my car should that be the case....just relax, listen to some jazz and just wait for Bingo Time. But the notion "I'm lurking in the parking lot" is almost laughable.....can't imagine how that represents anything other than the mere fact I showed up 15-20 mins early to my designated location.

I personally don't think it was too strict, just being discreet with the situation. Chung brings up some very good points, but if were talking about meeting a VP at a private incall or a good area that not known high traffic at certain times of the day, discretion is a must for me. You'll always have nosy neighbors or random people that live there in general, notice someone lurking around or sitting in the parking lot, that they never seen before and find it suspicious and that can bring trouble. So I would want to blend in and look more as a visitor meeting a friend rather than a client meeting a provider. If he had your addy and got there that early, he should have just drove around and kill those minutes till he call you and got the room number. Just my opinion though.

I prefer the old fashioned two call system rather than an address.

I don't like giving my address to providers who'll no doubt have it in their phone if stopped, so why would I expect them to want their address in my phone?

I would give a near by address close by before giving the real address or set the rules before so the clients know ahead of time.and not sitting waiting for a room number.

When I had my last apartment incall, I would guide gents in from the nearby C-store.. not due to concerns over my address, but my apartment complex was massive and easy to get lost in without good directions...even then, some gents would miss the turnoff.

But beyond that-- I've never really had an issue with this.