Am I a Complete Dick?

I've been married for a while, my wife waited for me during the military, staying faithful and saving money while I was deployed, (infantry) I love her with all my heart, however, I cannot get her to unleash her inner sex goddess. I have bought her sexy outfits, lingerie, a beautiful $300 dress from white house black market, I'm on my way to becoming a lawyer, we don't have children, I'm very good with money, I buy her flowers, everything she wants. We both work our asses off, she works about 50hrs a week, I work around 45 a week plus school full time. She is going to support me while I go to school, and get into law school. However, she only wants to be held. She seams like she can live without sex, I threw away the lingerie and the dress I bought for her over a year ago, after 7 years of marriage I have never received a bj, I try to tell her that I really want a sexy strip tease the way the strippers do in the clubs, and that she is completely amazing and the most sexy girl I have ever known, but I get none of that. I hate to think about cheating, but I really want a sexy provider to give me a few good hrs of something I have never experienced. Any advice?

Is she on the pill? I have a buddy who had the same predicament. After both of them got their plumbing fixed she became an animal. Good luck man!!

I was gonna say yes, but Confucius say: Man who live in dog house too long soon find cat house!

Bottom line is you have a lot to lose if you get caught. Is it worth it?

First, relax. It's normal to want what you are describing. Very normal. But let me be the first to say that if you are worried about cheating and "hate to think about it" then you owe it to yourself and to her to pursue every possible solution to the problem first.

Rango is steering you in the direction of a medical checkup. Good idea. Perhaps there is an systemic reason for her low libido. Can you tell her you understand her lack of drive and ask if she would be willing to see a professional to seek help? Convince her that you want to do everything possible to help HER as well as get your own needs met. She may be struggling with this more than she's telling you she is.

If she is struggling with insecurity and you seek satisfaction elsewhere, when she finds out about it you can kiss your marriage goodbye.

In sum, decide this day what is more important: your marriage or your own needs and desires. Only you can make that choice. If you've already given up on the marriage, then welcome to ECCIE! We can help you here! If there's a chance for you to help her--and yourself in the process--then go to it. Only you can make the choice. And I know you'll do the right thing.

Good luck and all the best,

JDN

I cannot get her to unleash her inner sex goddess. I have bought her sexy outfits, lingerie, a beautiful $300 dress from white house black market, I buy her flowers, everything she wants. Originally Posted by jason0313

For the civilian ladies, cleaning the kitchen or hiring a maid will get you more sex than buying that stuff (which is for YOU anyway, except the flowers).

If she's working 50 hours a week, there's no time for her to soften into her femininity. She can't go from full-on work mode (i.e. non-sexual) to sex kitten instantly. It takes a few hours transition time....to lounge, bathe, relax, breathe....not cooking/cleaning/doing laundry and then changing into lingerie to perform a strip tease!!!! You're making sex just another item on her "to do" list.

Get a divorce before you start cheating.

a) It will be less hassle in the long run.
b) You won't have to lie, sneak and worry about being caught.
c) You will treat her with the respect and dignity she deserves for putting up with your worthless ass all these years.
or
d) Get her ok, if not approval before you do this.


Otherwise.. delete your account and move on. This is not a marriage counseling service and you are in need of that. This is also not a place you as a married man want to get caught frequenting, even if you haven't got your dick wet in someone here yet. Look through the posts of jerkoffs getting caught and scrambling to erase their posts, delete the paper trail and or the wives calling providers etc. This can be you... if you do not learn from their lesson.

Good luck.... in whatever you choose you will need it.

It could be that she is just extremely submissive. My ex was like that. It did not take me 7 years but it did take about 7 months to figure out that she wanted to be taken. I would come home from work, grab her and bend her over any room in the house. After a few sessions like this, she admitted she was scared of not pleasing me and was very submissive and it turned her on for me to do whatever I wanted. It can't hurt, she may only give you a bj if you force her and demand it. But it may turn her on more than you.

come see me and dont tell her nothin. where you at?

Divorce her now. You will not somehow 'get happier' as you spend more time with her. If anything, it will get worse. You only have one life to live and you've ended up with the wrong person. It doesn't mean that either of you is a bad person, it just means that you aren't meant for each other. Counseling won't help, it will just try to help you accept less than you want.

Do not let your wife support you as you finish law school or you will pay it back many times over in the divorce settlement. Much better to get a loan to pay for law school.

Cut the cord now and move on. There are many, many women out there who are compatible with your desires. Find one of them and live happily ever after.

L4L

1. what honey said.
2. what blue said.
3. kinda what dave said.

4. um...what i think is that if you're gonna fuck around, a hooker is a LOT more forgivable then a civie. Civie equals total betrayal because it's really hard to re-establish any kind of trust again. Hooker = perv seeking sex. If she's not meeting that need...well, she's gonna have to blame herself at some point for it. It's not 110% your fault. Especially if you give her ample opportunity the way HoneyRose described.

and believe me - sexy clothes does NOT equal sexy time. just because we are both home from our busy schedules at the same time doesn't mean we are gonna do the nasty...don't put that kind of pressure on us.

...go out in the yard, fuck around with the dogs...(for more than five minutes without staring at my tits or ass and expecting something)...and without pouting. Seriously. it's such a turn off. I'm sure there is more but it's late and I'm tired..i'm sure you've heard that one already.

after 7 years of marriage I have never received a bj Originally Posted by jason0313

I call bullshit! No guy in his right mind even thinks about marrying a gal that refuses to give a bj, especially an infantry soldier!! Not in today's world, not even 7 yrs ago.

If you did let her get away with that, you allowed her to set the terms against you from the beginning. Oh, and btw, she's getting it somewhere so stop fooling yourself. You better catch her in the act now before the divorce. It will go better for you. Start looking at your best friend first then her workplace if it's not one of your friends.

For anybody that thinks that's too blunt...he's already here contemplating seeing an escort, he might as well hear it straight.

johnjohn..good points!

why does this come to mind?

marital bliss?

tntangie...love it

Seriously?

She has shown her love and devotion for all this time and is willing to work 50 plus hours a week so you can finish school? And if that's not enough, you expect her to perform as a sex goddess for you? Does she cook and clean for you while you are studying?

Have you tried to just hold her like she wants? You think she may interpret your gift giving as a bribe for sex and doesn't want to play that way?

If you do get a divorce can I get her number?

Just saying....

Coming to a whore board for marital advice is like going to a bar for alcohol counseling.