10 years ago today, I stood in front of a cheap wooden door, in a dingy building, trembling with fear. I never forgot the date, because I was terrified someone woildndo something to tease me, and I was such a nervous wreck, I knew I couldn't handle it. 18, half child and half young adult. So much I didn't know about men, sex, relationships and myself.
4 names and a decade later... Here I am! Sitting at an airport in the Carribean.
The internet was in it's infancy, so indies were few. Print ads were still a main basis for the gents. Many ladies still gave each other referral gifts, as a sign of appreciation for recommending a gent to her. Agencies ruled. Review boards were far fewer.
I remember GFE had nothing to do with sexual acts - it meant she was sweet, warm, kind, didn't make you feel like just another client. Amazing how things change!
I got involved naive, I was expecting to have the experience I do today - and soon learned it could take years to get what I desired - but I got there. Afterall, I was committed for life and had all the time in the world to figure out how to do things in a way that felt comfortable and enjoyable.
Many thought I'd retire in under five years, my hopes were unrealistic, that I would get tired, frustrated, jaded and quit. Yet here I am, having had accidentally stumbled upon the very life I dreamed of so long ago.
In part it's a wonderful feeling, that I didn't lower my head and play by the rules everyone insisted on, it's a nice feeling to pave your own unique journey.
In part the months leading up have been full of solemn reflection. And for the first time, doubt.
The last 4 years I celebrated with my best friends from elementary school, who remember sitting on a swing set, hearing me talk about being a call girl with men I adored traveling the world. This one I celebrate with a gent who has been close and precious for many years - in fact, I broke the most rules and erased the most boundaries with him - he's been a wonderfully bad influence. The first year I celebrated my anniversary as a Companion, was the year I met him.
Allow me to send a thank you, to those who have made this path life affirming, joyful and safe. To the friends who I have met, even if our contact and time together fluttered by quickly. There has been much goodness, even amongst the fleeting moments of heart ache and shadow.