I suppose I can see in an odd way what you are trying to do, but the way in which you are going about it will probably lead you nowhere good. The assumptions you are making are extremely inaccurate and bound to ruffle at least a few feathers. We are not paper dolls. We are people. Stop trying to put us in a little box just to help yourself make sense of us. But, since I'm here anyway... here are my answers/opinions.
What are their fears and concerns?
Umm, I'm terrified of clowns, the dark (more specifically, what might be
in the dark), small spaces, spiders, and people in costumes through which I can't see their eyes. Hobby-specific fears are that I will be raped, robbed, invited to the police station, not click with a new client, pass gas at a really inappropriate moment, etc. That list could go on for days.
I think that providers are risk-takers to a much higher degree than most hobbyists.
I doubt that anyone that has met me would describe me as a risk-taker. I'm paranoid about my business. I think more hobbyists are bigger risk-takers than you really considered. I, for one, am not risking a nasty divorce with a very hurt and angry wife, nor would I be putting any children in the middle. Seems like quite the risk to me. Hobbyists are also taking a risk of getting robbed or escorted to a police vehicle. Just saying.
I would also say that providers are better able to detach themselves emotionally from their customers than customers can. How do you do that?
Are you asking how I can resist falling in love with everyone I see? Umm, easy, I left that intention at home. Do I care about my clients? Sometimes. Sometimes I care very much. The difference is I put on my big-girl panties when I set the appointment and decided to respect the boundaries of the arrangement. I don't see why that's difficult.
How do you ladies do it? Is it natural or an acquired talent?
Seems pretty natural to me. I didn't have to learn how to respect my clients' boundaries. I knew from the beginning that it was expected. And also something I expect from my clients. Again, I fail to see why this would be difficult.
Personally, I try to build rapport with providers when I find ones that provide good service, but secretly, I fear that providers see all customers as throw-away commodities and if that is true, it would explain a lot.
Perhaps you need a break from the hobby? I'm sure this is true for some, and not true for others. To make it even more complicated, I think it's a little bit true and false for me. Clients I don't like/click with a
re expendable to me, because if I continue to see them, they will burn me out, and then I cannot enjoy the time I spend with the clients I like. That's just not good all the way around. If you are seeing girls that make you feel like a dust rag, and you don't like it, maybe it is time to find new girls.