A little help please....

Hello,
I dont know how best to get over the hurtle of provider references. Seems you cant get a screening without atleast 2 prior references in less than six months and there lies the dilemna. I have met probably a dozen ladies over several years. One from Eccie,two from Eros and several from BP, but none in the last six months.
I did a review on one lady here even though I found her on Eros. This provider was exceptional in appearance and service.What I soon learned is that a new reviewer is going to get crucified on Eccie if he has no prior review experience or help. In my only review here I was a bit protective of details of services,only trying to protect my providers privacy after all she had given me no free rein to publicize her business on the web.Soon the attack dogs smelled blood and I was laughed off the review board,still have not been back there.

As for provider references I have none from the last six months and can get any if no one will see me.......catch -22.
Surely there is a way to see a quality provider to suit my needs and with great reviews in the South Houston area.
Please advise,Rioseco

There are some providers that are "newbie friendly." It will say so in their ad or profile usually. However, most will want some sort of verification; so be prepared for that. If I were in your shoes, I'd post something in your local Houston forum pages. Newbie friendly providers will likely step forward. Good luck.

Well, my first thought is why post this on the national board? The Houston board is extremely active.

My second thought is to sign up for p411. It's a service that does a verification on you. Then you can message providers through p411. You'll likely still have to go through more individual screening if your situation is as described. But afterwards, each provider you see can verify you, and it will stick even if she leaves the business. Soon enough you won't have to go through additional screening other than having the provider verify your references.

I do understand. I've given out my personal info to more people than I'm completely comfortable with, but it is important for the provider to feel safe.

As far as getting references, you could always ask one of the girls you have seen if they would willing to be a reference for you. Not all girls will require your references to be current, but don't assume a girl will remember you if you haven't seen her in 6 months.
The other option would be to join one of the verification services, like P411 or room service 2000. I think they are definitely worth it if you are a newbie or if you travel. I have been hobbying for a few years, and I still use P411 all the time. I find it easier to use it rather than rely on some girl actually answering a reference request.
As far as getting crucified for writing a review, I have not had that experience. Read some other views, or some of the sample reviews or review guidelines to get a better idea of what makes an acceptable review. And don't count on the fact that you are on here and have written a few reviews to mean you are verified. That doesn't mean anything to many providers.

P411 is the only way to go....

https://www.preferred411.com/index.cfm

As far as getting crucified for writing a review, I have not had that experience. Read some other views, or some of the sample reviews or review guidelines to get a better idea of what makes an acceptable review. And don't count on the fact that you are on here and have written a few reviews to mean you are verified. That doesn't mean anything to many providers. Originally Posted by TheDoc

I've seen plenty of people get crucified on the Houston forums, and it's primarily for the reason you just cited. The person submitting the review wants the free credit, but they don't bother reading the guidelines for how to submit a review. There's always a skepticism in the hobbying community from a first time reviewer as well, with the suspicion they're submitting it more as a form of advertisement for the provider rather than an accurate portrayal.

The main mistake I see people make --- and frankly, it's a common mistake on any internet message board --- is that people want to dive right in, instead of taking a look around first. Eccie.net provides an unbelievable amount of content (an almost overwhelming amount, frankly), but you have to be willing to read.

Take the original post, for example. I don't have any extensive experience in hobbying, but just by reading this message board I already know that many providers aren't going to see me without references, how to go about getting references, what's the best way to compensate for a lack of references, what's the best screening service to get (it's p411 in Houston, and it's not even close), and a lot of other information besides that.

I get that we all lead busy lives, and reading a lot of crap to get the answers we want isn't everyone's cup of tea, but this really is a pretty common question.

I just typed in "how do I get references"

and this link popped up:

http://www.eccie.net/search.php?searchid=21308380

Just follow some of the relevant threads, and the same answers we're providing here are all over the place.

Which doesn't mean I begrudge the original poster asking his question. I don't. But it is an indication of what the issue probably was with his review, and why he was crucified. He didn't read enough to know what his audience was looking for, or what the reception might be if he didn't provide it.

Thanks to all for your contribution.As for posting this message here........I did not know how to find the houston board. Believe me the last thing I wanted was to be talked down to or preached at. Yes I have done some research but obviously I dont have all the answers. If I had it all mapped out alone and knew all the whens and hows I obviously would not bother good folks like yourselves,

Downloading porn is your best bet.

Thanks for nothing Pyramider !

Oh, don't worry about Pyramider, he just gets cranky when he hasn't seen enough taint. But, I think you've been given lots of good suggestions in this thread. Happy hobbying, and stay safe.

Thanks for nothing Pyramider ! Originally Posted by rioseco

You're welcome. I always try to help.

Here's what I know. I don't like your posts on this thread, rioseco.

pyramider is hands down one of the funniest posters on this site, but you haven't taken the time, or don't have enough of a sense of humor, to recognize it.

As for posting this message here........I did not know how to find the houston board. Believe me the last thing I wanted was to be talked down to or preached at. Yes I have done some research but obviously I dont have all the answers. If I had it all mapped out alone and knew all the whens and hows I obviously would not bother good folks like yourselves.

This is just a whiny post. I'm assuming you found the Houston board to submit your review, and your history shows comments on two others. This site isn't tough to navigate at all. You "did not know how to find the Houston board?" I find it tough to take you seriously.

When you say you've done some research, I would say your research, as far as this site goes, is piss poor.

It's not a matter of bothering anyone. You're not bothering anyone. People want to help. The whole philosophy of this site is "the more the merrier" --- whether it be providers or hobbyists. It's designed to help each side be comfortable with the process, and find one another to meet each other's needs. That's all it's for.

What I am saying is that I've been on this board for 2 years less than you have. I have less hobbying experience than you do. Why am I giving you any advise? The only reason is because I've put more time and effort in actually understanding this site and the dynamics involved. I'm no expert. Far from it. But I know more than you, when I shouldn't.

Lastly, if you don't want to be "talked down to or preached at" just put a modicum of effort into your participation on here, whether it's regarding reviews, or how to get with a provider when you don't have any references.

Oh, and try out p411. That should be the most important thing you've gotten out of this.

I've said this before and will say it again, most providers rely on their gut instinct when deciding to see a client or not. Even if you have 4 references from recent dates, a certain provider may decline. On the other hand, a provider may see you with zero references and little if any screening other than what her intuition tells her. This is not just my opinion. It is what I know for a fact after talking with half a dozen or so reliable providers (both on and off ECCIE).

I know some providers will vehemently object to what I'm about to say, but I know this approach works because it is what I did when I first re-emerged into the hobby scene. When I re-entered hobbying, I was only use to agencies. The whole concept of Indy providers on the internet was completely foreign to me. By total accident, I stumbled onto ASPD. I was visiting Texas and looking to find an escort. My Google search directed me to ASPD, I joined up and perused the ads. I found an escort that I liked. She wasn't an Indy-- more of a UTR agency girl. There was no screening. I just showed up at her location. I had fun. I kept that contact info with me as I was stumbling around this new-found world of internet providers. The next time I wanted to play, I was confronted with girls asking for references and stuff like that. I had no clue. The only thing I wanted was to play. I set out and did my research. I contacted a lady and struck up about a 4 week conversation with her on and off certain boards. When it came time to actually book with her, the awkward moment of references came up. I told her that I really didn't have any references other than the girl from Texas. That contact was month's old, out of state (by 1,000 miles), and probably not the most reliable of sources. When I told her that, she said that she really didn't need any references because she could trust me based on the nearly month long back and forth conversation that we had. After I saw her, she told me that she would gladly be a reference in the future. I thanked her for that. She also told me afterwards that she relied more on her intuition than the word of some other provider.

A few years later here on ECCIE, I got into several on-going threads and messages with a certain provider whom I wanted to see. We must have been involved in dozens of threads over the course of several months. When she was touring my area, I booked her. When booking her, I asked if she needed any references. By this time, I had seen plenty of providers and giving a references would not have been a problem. She point blank told me that I didn't need any references. She trusted me based on our interaction her on the ECCIE forums. Later, when we were together, she told me the same thing the other provider told me-- she relies more on a gut feeling when screening a guy.

Why am I saying this? I say it because there are ways to book a provider without references. It is a combination of being yourself on the boards over a period of time and gaining the trust of the provider(s) you want to see. I think trust and reputation go a lot further than a random reference. I think it is human nature to go with one's gut. Besides, I personally find asking for a references to be the easy way out. Here's one thing to consider. How often will a provider actually give a negative reference? Better question, how often does a provider really remember the client she is supposedly giving a reference for? I think a lot of the time, those asked for references will say "yes" automatically without really even giving any thought to it.

It's a dangerous game out there man. And reputation is key, if you've got no street cred then you need to get out there and put in WORK!! Get your weight up and THEN you can play in the big boy pool

Thanks to all well intensioned advisers and yes I will try to do better, I am sorry that I posted on the wrong board. It will not happen again Since then I have found the correct site..If I offended Pyramider then I apologize,I did not realize his intent was only humor. I am not the best at computers and websites but I do try.Still I find myself unfamiliar at times. The opinion of some gentlemen here is well accepted and some I dont give a damn to hear.
As for you Proudof Texas you can fuck off. Your insults and comment are not well intended like the other replies and it shows you to be the real asshole that you are. I find you to be a rude arrogant prick of a human being and dont care for your sarcassim and insults, so go fuck your self !