What would yours say ? lol

Guys if you were in our shoes and you had to write an ad to attract us ladies to call you what would it say, what all would you include in it ?

Lets have a good time with this !

Ladies if the shoe was on the other foot and you were the one looking what would you want to see in the guys ads ?

Best 30 seconds of your Life

cOmE sEe mE fOr A gReAt tImE

Toys are great (Transformers, Thundercats, GI Joes)
Domination ... At madden 2011
Submission ... of my resume to as many companies as possible, because I'll need extra income after this ad.

I'm not a clock watcher! (Because I can't tell time)

I can't say exactly everything our time will include, but I'll just say it involves a shake weight, a shamwow, and a blind chicken that sings mariachi. The chicken has a new album coming out soon on amazon.com titled "el pollo no can see-o"©

Hurry, Call now. I'll be retiring weekly and randomly, so book a session before it's too late!

You know why I always keep the beer in front of my poker chips? Because I lick her in the front and poke her in the rear! Every hands a winner at my casino. Call me and I'll push it all in.

I will keep mine simple like BJ:

7 inch tongue and I breath through my ears.

Just fuckin call me.

Simple normal text. Be truthful in advertising.

my ad:
40 year old white male, I am not Ken so you dont have to be Barbie; I am very good at pleasing the ladies from my magical tongue to my thick mantool. You will feel like you are the one and only when with me. I am BFE (BoyFriend Experince).
my stats: 6'0" 240lbs 9.5" tool
my rates:
30min - $80
1 hr - $120
longer times can be negotiated.
First time clients if not satisfied a refund of $30 will be given.

No pain, potty games, no recieving anal, females only

[current pic attached]

email or call 682-555-xxxx to schedule your time with me

{end of my ad}

the stats are not real stats...they are used to protect the not so innocent.

Im the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Just call me and you wont regret it.

OMG, I cant stop laughing you guys are to much but I love it.....keep them coming.....

but wait where are the damn photo's and they better be current....lol

OMG, I cant stop laughing you guys are to much but I love it.....keep them coming.....

but wait where are the damn photo's and they better be current....lol Originally Posted by fawn

Oops, sorry, i forgot to include a picture.

Here is a picture of my tool:




It's very current, and comes with a great warranty.

And as far as my rates, I've been getting ten dollars, but I'm willing to negotiate.

OMG, I cant stop laughing you guys are to much but I love it.....keep them coming.....

but wait where are the damn photo's and they better be current....lol Originally Posted by fawn

Hey there! I am back in town your F&*K bunny**** JUST for the weekend I am running a special!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HH I pay you 150 roses, H I pay you 200 roses, trips to the Greek isle, Toys OK, NO RUSSIAN, DATY/DATO world champ, CIM ok....Hurry I book up fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Gal leria area***** I am thick NOT BBM
Fawn you know I look just like my avatar

Junior Samples Studs...where 6pk abs have slid south and become a 12pk belly...

Real BBM (Big Beautiful Male) 5'8" 2sumthim lbs. I wish I knew my tool size, but cant see under my gut. Simply put Im a male cougar...specializing in women with bad eyesight, or a drinking problem.

My Services:
Total BFE(I think), MSOG...even after Im asleep, Greek(I luv Baklava) Hell, I'll even buy!

My Incalls are 150..hr...outcalls 400hr (the escalade sucks gas)

i have been told I look like Kevin James, with a little Peter Brady mixed in & if that doesnt make u wet, ur either lyin or dead!!

If its not me its free!!!(no pic added)
So CaLl Me aT 555-three-7-two-blahblah

Its me are its fear I meen free! / Upsell Location.

I may get hammered for this, but you want the truth. I have always disliked the adds that say," I am horny as hell and need a man".
The way I figure if a women is horny and needs a man then I should'nt have to pay. I like the adds that say what she likes and wants to do to me, but I also dont like to grafic. I know I may be a little different. But I dont like reviews that are titled "so & so can suck a mean cock or is a slut. I am just from a different school that thinks it is very degrading to talk about women like that. And I know what some are saying, well the ladies on here are hookers or providers. It still does'nt matter to me what a lady does for a living. I just dont think they should be degraded like that.
I like a lady to be respectfull, I dont cuss much and I dont like being around people who do. Theres an old saying my granfather use to have , trash in your ears, trash out your mouth. And I think it is true, it will tell me alot about who that person is and what type of people they associate with.
My favorite adds are always written a little sexy and classy, not trashy and slutty. LOL.

Nice guys keep them coming. This is very entertaing . Lets see more photos.

I know all that would catch my attention would be something intitled DATY ...........

An ad that will catch my eye would be:

Stamina for hours and I proudly take the blue pill.....I offer unlimited mustache rides. Weeeeee!