This may go all over the place so bear with me.
There are lots of women on this site who fully embrace being slutty and have no issue with being referred to by a long list of terms we all know.
Then there are the women who in the profiles, ads, and other posts on the boards, demand to be respected.
Those same women who demand respect will then engage in many acts and in their reviews at least speak and are spoken to in a manner that seemingly disrespectful.
I think this is where there is a disconnect between some hobbyists and those ladies. Can't a lady act dirty?
A hobbyist reads another review where hobbyist said to the lady, "get on your knees and suck my cock, you nasty slut." Then he reads that she said to the hobbyist, "Shove your hard cock up my ass..."and " I'm such a dirty whore, I wanna taste...."
He also reads a rather plain sensual GFE review from the same provider. He needs to ask respectfully to disrespect her?
Also, take for example some of the gonzo porn out there. Are the female performers who do gangbang, bukkake, DP scenes not respected by male performers? Is the question rather if any male performers in those scene respect their female counterpart? They both seem to be having fun.
The same performers do "classy" porn too, for lack of a better word.
Should women feel disrespected in the dirty scenes or the dirty sessions when it's all just to fulfill a fantasy?
How do we communicate a dirty desire without offending providers?