I feel dirty

I was wondering about opinions on a particular situation I find myself in.

I recently met a very nice girl. She and I laugh our asses off. We get along great! She's sweet, it makes me want to be sweet to her, and basically things are going so well that I am getting the butterflies in the stomach. That usually means two things. First I am actually interested in the girl, and second I am considering getting serious which just makes me want to puke the butterflies.

This young lady is only 22 to my 37. Normally I wouldn't even date that young. Nothing in common, they never heard of half the bands I like, never saw half the movies I love, etc etc. This is one amazing woman however. We relate to each other. She is mature beyond her years. Finally I have not been able to bullshit her.

Normally with a 22 year old its almost child's play to use the force to control their minds. This one... NOT.

Now........................

The problem.

She's a pretty big girl. I have always gone for spinners. I don't mind bigger women, but certain limits apply. Like if your belly is bigger than mine. Or of your boobs goto your belly button.

How the hell do I tell this chick. I love your brain now let's go start jogging. Do I slap doughnuts out of her hand and give her some granola?



I am trying to be funny to relieve my own tension. She really is wonderful which is why I would even consider this. But its such a problem that I may not be completely into sex with her. I dont wanna like picture AMY956 (who I so want to fuck) while trying to bang Mrs. Wonderful.

Ok let the flaming begin.

No flame here, but good luck. People are just too damn hard to change. Think of it this way...How hard is it to change something about yourself? Multiply the degree of difficulty by 100 as far as changing someone else. It's kinda one of those take-it-or-leave-it, as-is things.

NEVER, EVER slap a donut out of someone's hand. If you do it in front of others, they might join her in the beat down.

You could invite her to go jogging with you, but if she declines, don't force it. You could go on a diet, and she might join you. A direct approach might work, but it's never worked with me.

If you're going into it wanting to change her, I'm thinking it's going to end in frustration.

Good luck.

Dear ARN:
Sometimes changing someone can be difficult. Even if you pull it off they can sometimes wind up resenting you.

You may try to find some common ground like joining a health club or cooking healthy. It sounds like you feel she may be worth the effort.

Good Luck

If she's big at 22 then at 32 she will more than likely be huge. If you have a problem with her size going in it won't get better. All I can tell you is what I would do in that situation. Put her on the friend level and go chase a hottie.

If she's big at 22 then at 32 she will more than likely be huge. If you have a problem with her size going in it won't get better. All I can tell you is what I would do in that situation. Put her on the friend level and go chase a hottie. Originally Posted by Mr. Smith111

I like this good advice.

If she's big at 22 then at 32 she will more than likely be huge. If you have a problem with her size going in it won't get better. All I can tell you is what I would do in that situation. Put her on the friend level and go chase a hottie. Originally Posted by Mr. Smith111

First, Smith is right
Second, the age thing will never work in the long run. (but oh how we wish it could)

If she's big at 22 then at 32 she will more than likely be huge. If you have a problem with her size going in it won't get better. All I can tell you is what I would do in that situation. Put her on the friend level and go chase a hottie. Originally Posted by Mr. Smith111

First, Smith is right
Second, the age thing will never work in the long run. (but oh how we wish it could)

For me if they don't remember Room 222 that's okay but when they look at you funny when you mention Gilligans Island they are just to young. But that's just me..

Yeah this sucks. Yall gave really good advise.

Thanks.

Yeah I can't do it. I am gonna have to put her in the friend category. I really wish we hadn't hooked up last night. Thank goodness all we did was Oral. I think I am going to be real real busy this weekend.

Maybe AMY856 will help me feel less dirty. NOT

Oh shit, you already got some head from her. The friend thing may be hard to do now. That may have been a really big deal for her. I hope it all works out for you.

There's nothing wrong with having another friend with benefits. Just tell her you are not looking for a relationship right now. If she is cool with that, then great. If not, then just move on.

If she's big at 22 then at 32 she will more than likely be huge. If you have a problem with her size going in it won't get better. All I can tell you is what I would do in that situation. Put her on the friend level and go chase a hottie. Originally Posted by Mr. Smith111

I say cancel that turd Dr. Phil and replace him with Mr Smith. How can you argue with logic like that...

I say cancel that turd Dr. Phil and replace him with Mr Smith. How can you argue with logic like that... Originally Posted by Jimmiwad

LMAO. Thanks JW

I'm sorry, I've been there myself. Dated a woman for a while because she was everything I wanted...outside of the physical. I just wasn't really attracted to her physically and the sex sucked (and not simply because of the lack of attraction on my part). Ultimately, I walked away (although if I'd found the hobby sooner, maybe...). We're still friends...in fact she's one of my best friends (I hope she never learns what the real reason was!), and I'm still playing the field.

I don't understand why the physical matters so much if you say she gives you "butterflies", and then you follow with all the positive aspects of her until it gets to one thing...her weight.

Are we really that superficial? With all due respect, maybe you need to take a hard look in the mirror and tell me what you see now and what you predict a few years later when she's in her 30's and you're in your 50's. It's unfair women are graded on only the physical appearances, when we can look at the character of a man. I think it may be worth giving this girl a chance, she may end up being more than you ever imagined.

I know you were probably looking for male advice, but it's a shame that everything was negative and no one took your best interest to heart. I wish you good luck in whatever decision you feel you can live with.

Smith and Company's advice is correct. Heather's assesment is also correct. Men in the hobby, by and large, are superficial and make decisions largely the physical. The superficiality is good for provider job security.