An Undignified, but well deserved, rant.

A Rant,


First and foremost I want to thank the average gentleman I see that this rant does not pertain to. If you have not treated me in the fallowing way or have already made amends for such treatment this rant is NOT to you. This rant is for all the ladies that do NOT wish to be treated in this fashion and whom are generous with their time and their real selves.


Second and by no means less important, I want to state that I am well aware of what the hobby entails. I am very aware of the obvious expectations between an agreed engagement.


Here is where my rant begins......


Lately I have had several unpleasant experiences due to my generosity of time and self. When I set forth to offer my self as a companion, and not a persona but rather my real self, I expected hiccups. I did my due diligence by clarifying in every possible way what kind of companion I was and what sort of gentleman I sought. I made it even more clear I was highly selective and my selection process was never meant to be found insulting. It is there for a reason. It is there to prevent the fallowing.


When you donate your funds for my time and arrange a two hour engagement, any time given over top of that is mine to give. My time is precious, I value ever single minute of yours and when I ask you return the favor I do not mean in a monetary fashion. Either way, if I choose to spend further time with you after the allocated time, this does not mean we are still on “your dollar” we are now officially on “my time”


Example: You graciously offer me an evening of a two hour engagement and ask if I would be interested in your company further at dinner and perhaps some entertainment after. I appreciatively agree. I am aware entertainment, dinner and the more intimate affair will not fit into a two hour slot. You should be as well. So after that initial two hours saying things such as “No you can't pee, I paid for this time it's my hour” even if said jokingly (and loud enough for the table next to us to hear) will be taken as an insult. It's rude. It's crude and it most certainly does not make me feel like a treasured companion so much as the whore you ordained to offered to wine and dine after the fact. And IF you feel the latter....do NOT ask me for my company. Taking it a step further to comment (again as loud as you can) “I have never had a prostitute make me jump through so many hoops before” has now doused any feelings of warmth or gratitude I may have been feeling prior to our dinner.


Example 2: I find your company enthralling so when asked out on a non intimate evening of entertainment I agree non gratis. Only to find out later there was far more expectations than just dinner and a movie. No not just find out..... I get a text meant to inspire guilt for my lack of ability to keep the non gratis engagement.


So often I hear and read of gentlemen complaining that their companion goes for the theme “get them in, off and out” Just a random suggestion here.... Don't treat the ladies like a whore and they wont treat you like a john. The few ladies that try to break that stigma are not going to last long if they are continuously treated like a toy that was bought. That is how the tainted, cold “prostitute/whore” is created. Believe it or not gentlemen, they don't start that way. They start wide eyed and either scared or excited. They have dreams and aspirations. They either are looking to feel beautiful, fill their wallet, or just want to have non committed relationships with all the perks (such as help with the bills) without having to get married. Look around, at least half of the escort populace could, if she chose, have a wealthy husband and commit to a life of monogamy and/or sleep with the pool boy.


If you want that kind of experience, there are ladies out there that PREFER that method. There is nothing wrong with wanting a quick nut, a long nut, a whore, a prostitute, a submissive partner or even wanting to objectify someone. THERE ARE LADIES FOR THAT! Believe it of not there are ladies for just about every passing fancy. Some women LOVE to be treated like an objected and verbally humiliated in public. DO YOUR RESEARCH. Have more than one girl in your stable! The best part of this hobby and certainly the reason I was drawn to it, is that you are not limited to one. You are not committed to a single arrangement. I am not knocking likes, preferences or fetishes. I am simply saying not every girl likes every preference, but every girl is HUMAN! I don't go to a nail salon and expect to get waxed without researching or at least asking first. I certainly don't get pissed if they don't offer it. After all I went their to get my nails done, getting waxed was a bonus. I don't go to a seafood place and ask for Asian food, I don't stand in the smoking section and complain about smoke.


And for goodness sakes, if she does not specify porn star experience do not expect a non stop marathon. Give a lady a 20 minute break at least. Those parts down there are fragile!


Moral of this rant...

• Do your research, read everything you can find and select based on your preferences. Your spending enough money to buy a watch, car, diamond, and in some cases a house. You wouldn't invest a dime over a 100 outside of the hobby without doing research on it first.
• If the lady is being generous with time, at least be a gentleman. That does not hurt your wallet or pride to treat her like a human being
• If you don't know the answer, if you cant find the answer...ASK THE QUESTION FIRST!!!
• Unless she specifies objectification and humiliation......don't abuse her generosity of spirit, heart or time. Hell Just don't do it unless she specifies it's something she wants or likes
• Just because you paid for it, doesn't mean you own it.
• Don't expect a tired woman to remember perfect punctuation at 1am when she is tired and ranting.

End of undignified rant, by all means feel free to offer your opinions and arguments.

Bad day, hopefully tomorrow is better for you.

That was not undignified whatsoever it was very well written and thought out excellently I want to Thank you so much for taking your time to write this I'm sure many others feel the same thing.

So after that initial two hours saying things such as “No you can't pee, I paid for this time it's my hour” Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

Good heavens.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I also tend to be a bit more flexible with the public time I spend with a gentleman. I generally plan for some extra time for socializing to begin with even if we are going no further than the patio of my incall. I learned rather quickly that there are hobbyists who will try to take advantage of you.

I've had to reprimand someone for their behavior a few times before. They know they aren't following the standards of behavior they should be. Once you call them out on it, the men tend to rectify their behavior. If they don't, at least you found out the ugliness of their souls before they insinuate themselves more into your hobby life. Granted, this is easier for me since my personal brand (and personality in general) seems to be a bit more feisty than yours. I've never seen you be anything but gracious so I can certainly see how you can be caught in this situation.

My suggestion is to get up and walk away immediately when a man behaves badly in public. Go to the restroom and text/call him to ask if he is ready to treat you with respect. Do not make a scene. Don't stalk out of the room attracting attention with your ire. Remember, you have to respond immediately or the cause/effect won't imprint fully on their puny minds.

Saying things like that is just a power play on their part. They WANT to belittle a woman so far out of their league normally so they can feel better about themselves.

If you need a better day after your ordeal make one. As long as it comes from a completely honest place, there is no shame in contacting an ATF to talk and let him remind you what a wonderful, intelligent, and beautiful woman you are. Of course your RW friends know how great you are and can cheer you up, but there is something particularly cathartic about a hobbyist soothing away the sins of a past client.

Just my .02

Since I am Extremely Average and your rant does not pertain to average gentlemen, I found it meaningful, yet amusing.

However, I was kind of distracted by your insistence upon using the word "fallowing" instead of "following" and I'm pretty sure you don't know the difference between "gratis" and "non gratis".

All in all, the rant was a solid B and as undignified as advertised - can't wait for the next one!!

Lately I have had several unpleasant experiences due to my generosity of time and self. Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

Then stop being generous with your time and self. Tricks aren't mind readers, so if you're not leaving, or kicking them out as time expires, they're going to stay, because they take your inaction as a sign of acceptance.

It's crude and it most certainly does not make me feel like a treasured companion so much as the whore you ordained to offered to wine and dine... Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

It seems that part of your problem is that you think there's a difference between the two...there isn't. A trick pays for your time. If he chooses to also pay for dinner, then he's being a generous host. If he asks for separate checks, so be it. You're only as "treasured" as he deigns to make you feel, because, you are in fact a whore that he offered wine and food to.

I find your company enthralling so when asked out on a non intimate evening of entertainment I agree non gratis. Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

I stopped there. When whores and tricks mix business with pleasure, there needs to be VERY clear boundaries that are discussed beforehand. You obviously don't have a concept of that, and that lack of understanding will always lead to bad things.

Just a random suggestion here.... Don't treat the ladies like a whore and they wont treat you like a john. Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

Again, the expectation that there is a difference between what you do and what every other hooker in the world does...there isn't...and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll stop ranting about things that happen to you in the hobby...

The most disturbing part to me was the last word. You obviously expect your clients to not be "johns", and instead be "gentlemen" who will "treasure" you as a "companion". Tell me Jaycee, how EXACTLY do you screen guys to make sure they're not johns? Just askin'...because I think I must have missed the "Are you a john?" question on my P411 profile.

Start treating this business like a business, and you'll have far fewer headaches.

Clients will always take advantage of providers who blur the lines between business(paid) and personal(free). After all, they aren't able to take advantage of the providers who are all business(paid upfront, in full, no misunderstandings possible).

Stay safe out there.

Always,
Gina

Hey Gina...did you guys add a "Are you a john?" question to our profiles while I wasn't looking?

I think I like you Jaycee! Out of my price range, but you're very attractive. As you so correctly point out, there are guys and gals that just want to poke and go! There are also other guys and gals who want a more complete experience. The secret is to get the right people connected. The secret is an ability to communicate what one wants and expects by both parties. Pretty simple really. However, I've really been pretty surprised at how few really understand this simple truth. Doesn't have to be confusing. As a guy, I'm not going to compromise what I'm looking for. I see no reason why the ladies should either. So, good post!

Since I am Extremely Average and your rant does not pertain to average gentlemen, I found it meaningful, yet amusing.

However, I was kind of distracted by your insistence upon using the word "fallowing" instead of "following" and I'm pretty sure you don't know the difference between "gratis" and "non gratis".

All in all, the rant was a solid B and as undignified as advertised - can't wait for the next one!! Originally Posted by Ed Highlight

As I said, 1am ranting has never had a positive affect on my grammar.
I am aware gratis means free. Sadly despite a well versed vocabulary I have always stumbled over the word following. It is my personal writing Achilles heel.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I also tend to be a bit more flexible with the public time I spend with a gentleman. I generally plan for some extra time for socializing to begin with even if we are going no further than the patio of my incall. I learned rather quickly that there are hobbyists who will try to take advantage of you.

I've had to reprimand someone for their behavior a few times before. They know they aren't following the standards of behavior they should be. Once you call them out on it, the men tend to rectify their behavior. If they don't, at least you found out the ugliness of their souls before they insinuate themselves more into your hobby life. Granted, this is easier for me since my personal brand (and personality in general) seems to be a bit more feisty than yours. I've never seen you be anything but gracious so I can certainly see how you can be caught in this situation.

My suggestion is to get up and walk away immediately when a man behaves badly in public. Go to the restroom and text/call him to ask if he is ready to treat you with respect. Do not make a scene. Don't stalk out of the room attracting attention with your ire. Remember, you have to respond immediately or the cause/effect won't imprint fully on their puny minds.

Saying things like that is just a power play on their part. They WANT to belittle a woman so far out of their league normally so they can feel better about themselves.

If you need a better day after your ordeal make one. As long as it comes from a completely honest place, there is no shame in contacting an ATF to talk and let him remind you what a wonderful, intelligent, and beautiful woman you are. Of course your RW friends know how great you are and can cheer you up, but there is something particularly cathartic about a hobbyist soothing away the sins of a past client.

Just my .02 Originally Posted by SA Angel

Your advice is wonderful, thank you. The latter part I already employed, however the former I will keep in mind in the future.

That was not undignified whatsoever it was very well written and thought out excellently I want to Thank you so much for taking your time to write this I'm sure many others feel the same thing. Originally Posted by SknyDiva

Thank you, I was never much one for ranting. I prefer to engage in a good debate, but unloading a mass of complaints has always made me feel a touch undignified. This time I couldn't simply let it go. My hope was by casting it out there, at least those that prefer to practice like myself might find their next gentleman a little hesitant about such behavior. And as many good psychologists would say....It never hurts to feel validated when one is feeling upset, hurt or in pain.

Bad day, hopefully tomorrow is better for you. Originally Posted by rrabbit6926

Thank you, though this is more an accumulative thing. I only offered two examples. I could have offered at least 10 had I not felt the rant was growing too lengthy. I would say this is more a bad month. I was lucky enough to have one gentleman come in and make "kiss my boo boo's" as it were, making the month all better.

I think I like you Jaycee! Out of my price range, but you're very attractive. As you so correctly point out, there are guys and gals that just want to poke and go! There are also other guys and gals who want a more complete experience. The secret is to get the right people connected. The secret is an ability to communicate what one wants and expects by both parties. Pretty simple really. However, I've really been pretty surprised at how few really understand this simple truth. Doesn't have to be confusing. As a guy, I'm not going to compromise what I'm looking for. I see no reason why the ladies should either. So, good post! Originally Posted by Hermosa

Thank you Hermosa! That was what I was trying to convey. I appreciate the confirmation and added thoughts.

Start treating this business like a business, and you'll have far fewer headaches.

Clients will always take advantage of providers who blur the lines between business(paid) and personal(free). After all, they aren't able to take advantage of the providers who are all business(paid upfront, in full, no misunderstandings possible).

Stay safe out there.

Always,
Gina

When I returned to the hobby, I promised I would do it different. I promised myself I would release the tight hold of business with both hands (but keep one hand on it, of course) Because I did not want to become hardened. I did not want to be the rigid business woman whom focused purely on the wallet. Primarily because that is what burns me out quickly. I know the risks which is another reason I consider the rant undignified. On one hand... I can't open the door's and windows and not expect someone to attempt to sneak in and rob me. On the other, if I keep them all closed I will never experience fresh air in the house or feel a perfect breeze. As I am not one for outside the hobby dating, my analogy could continue on with, leaving the house to feel this breeze is not an ideal option for me. However I do make it crystal clear in every profile, every ad, and the whole of my website what it is I offer and what I expect in return. I am not seeking love out there. Just passion and compassion. Generosity and friendship. I have goals and I intend to meet them. Which requires me to keep at least one hand on the business side. Some men don't want that rigid business woman. My Original post meant to point out that, behavior such as what I experienced leads to advice and actions taken to become more of that business woman. In worst case scenarios it leads to a more tainted and aggressive business woman. Not a bad thing individually, however it does remove that extra variety of another type of service available for the masses.

Then stop being generous with your time and self. Tricks aren't mind readers, so if you're not leaving, or kicking them out as time expires, they're going to stay, because they take your inaction as a sign of acceptance.

It seems that part of your problem is that you think there's a difference between the two...there isn't. A trick pays for your time. If he chooses to also pay for dinner, then he's being a generous host. If he asks for separate checks, so be it. You're only as "treasured" as he deigns to make you feel, because, you are in fact a whore that he offered wine and food to.

I stopped there. When whores and tricks mix business with pleasure, there needs to be VERY clear boundaries that are discussed beforehand. You obviously don't have a concept of that, and that lack of understanding will always lead to bad things.

Again, the expectation that there is a difference between what you do and what every other hooker in the world does...there isn't...and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll stop ranting about things that happen to you in the hobby...

The most disturbing part to me was the last word. You obviously expect your clients to not be "johns", and instead be "gentlemen" who will "treasure" you as a "companion". Tell me Jaycee, how EXACTLY do you screen guys to make sure they're not johns? Just askin'...because I think I must have missed the "Are you a john?" question on my P411 profile.

I saved you for last because I have read a plethora of your writings and am well aware our views differ so vastly that not even a solar system could fill in that space. I have noticed that you do not accept, allow, or consider any view outside of your own personal view. In regards to this hobby and arrangements anyway.

I screen gentlemen through research. If there is little to be found via the world wide web, I request a meet and greet. I read their profiles, their posts on eccie, their facebook and/or twitter if the information is provided. I ask questions. No screening is full proof. If it was, we certainly wouldn't be having as many terrorist issues.

As for the rest of your thoughts on my rant, you have the right to your own opinion. And though I may disagree with your thoughts, I would defend your right to have them and speak them as you see fit.

In your world sugar babies are 20 and naïve. Escorts are hookers that are meant to be catering, warm bodied, masturbatory toys. And, as I am sure you are aware, there are women that fit your definitions. You and I both know, you would no more seek a date with me than I would accept a date from you.

A Rant,


First and foremost I want to thank the average gentleman I see that this rant does not pertain to. If you have not treated me in the fallowing way or have already made amends for such treatment this rant is NOT to you. This rant is for all the ladies that do NOT wish to be treated in this fashion and whom are generous with their time and their real selves.


Second and by no means less important, I want to state that I am well aware of what the hobby entails. I am very aware of the obvious expectations between an agreed engagement.


Here is where my rant begins......


Lately I have had several unpleasant experiences due to my generosity of time and self. When I set forth to offer my self as a companion, and not a persona but rather my real self, I expected hiccups. I did my due diligence by clarifying in every possible way what kind of companion I was and what sort of gentleman I sought. I made it even more clear I was highly selective and my selection process was never meant to be found insulting. It is there for a reason. It is there to prevent the fallowing.


When you donate your funds for my time and arrange a two hour engagement, any time given over top of that is mine to give. My time is precious, I value ever single minute of yours and when I ask you return the favor I do not mean in a monetary fashion. Either way, if I choose to spend further time with you after the allocated time, this does not mean we are still on “your dollar” we are now officially on “my time”


Example: You graciously offer me an evening of a two hour engagement and ask if I would be interested in your company further at dinner and perhaps some entertainment after. I appreciatively agree. I am aware entertainment, dinner and the more intimate affair will not fit into a two hour slot. You should be as well. So after that initial two hours saying things such as “No you can't pee, I paid for this time it's my hour” even if said jokingly (and loud enough for the table next to us to hear) will be taken as an insult. It's rude. It's crude and it most certainly does not make me feel like a treasured companion so much as the whore you ordained to offered to wine and dine after the fact. And IF you feel the latter....do NOT ask me for my company. Taking it a step further to comment (again as loud as you can) “I have never had a prostitute make me jump through so many hoops before” has now doused any feelings of warmth or gratitude I may have been feeling prior to our dinner.


Example 2: I find your company enthralling so when asked out on a non intimate evening of entertainment I agree non gratis. Only to find out later there was far more expectations than just dinner and a movie. No not just find out..... I get a text meant to inspire guilt for my lack of ability to keep the non gratis engagement.


So often I hear and read of gentlemen complaining that their companion goes for the theme “get them in, off and out” Just a random suggestion here.... Don't treat the ladies like a whore and they wont treat you like a john. The few ladies that try to break that stigma are not going to last long if they are continuously treated like a toy that was bought. That is how the tainted, cold “prostitute/whore” is created. Believe it or not gentlemen, they don't start that way. They start wide eyed and either scared or excited. They have dreams and aspirations. They either are looking to feel beautiful, fill their wallet, or just want to have non committed relationships with all the perks (such as help with the bills) without having to get married. Look around, at least half of the escort populace could, if she chose, have a wealthy husband and commit to a life of monogamy and/or sleep with the pool boy.


If you want that kind of experience, there are ladies out there that PREFER that method. There is nothing wrong with wanting a quick nut, a long nut, a whore, a prostitute, a submissive partner or even wanting to objectify someone. THERE ARE LADIES FOR THAT! Believe it of not there are ladies for just about every passing fancy. Some women LOVE to be treated like an objected and verbally humiliated in public. DO YOUR RESEARCH. Have more than one girl in your stable! The best part of this hobby and certainly the reason I was drawn to it, is that you are not limited to one. You are not committed to a single arrangement. I am not knocking likes, preferences or fetishes. I am simply saying not every girl likes every preference, but every girl is HUMAN! I don't go to a nail salon and expect to get waxed without researching or at least asking first. I certainly don't get pissed if they don't offer it. After all I went their to get my nails done, getting waxed was a bonus. I don't go to a seafood place and ask for Asian food, I don't stand in the smoking section and complain about smoke.


And for goodness sakes, if she does not specify porn star experience do not expect a non stop marathon. Give a lady a 20 minute break at least. Those parts down there are fragile!


Moral of this rant...

• Do your research, read everything you can find and select based on your preferences. Your spending enough money to buy a watch, car, diamond, and in some cases a house. You wouldn't invest a dime over a 100 outside of the hobby without doing research on it first.
• If the lady is being generous with time, at least be a gentleman. That does not hurt your wallet or pride to treat her like a human being
• If you don't know the answer, if you cant find the answer...ASK THE QUESTION FIRST!!!
• Unless she specifies objectification and humiliation......don't abuse her generosity of spirit, heart or time. Hell Just don't do it unless she specifies it's something she wants or likes
• Just because you paid for it, doesn't mean you own it.
• Don't expect a tired woman to remember perfect punctuation at 1am when she is tired and ranting.

End of undignified rant, by all means feel free to offer your opinions and arguments. Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

I understand and thanks. You are 110% correct. Some people don't know how to do their homework and even some of the women believe we are all the same "thing" and our mindsets should all be exactly the same concerning how we provide. There is and never will be only one way to behave or expect to be treated, as evidenced by the varied and many different opinions and behaviors about any subject matter on this board. The world is not black and white and it never will be. Some folks appear to have lost their compassion which concerns me greatly for them.

Continue doing what you do and never lower your expectations of others as some seem to have so readily done. You'll do just fine, just turn up your spidey senses as they will serve you well, and soon you won't have to deal with those, who not only would take advantage, but will reciprocate generously by throwing in their lack of gratitude and disrespect right on top of your generosity pie, and then they will ram it down your throat. You showed a great deal of restraint by not walking out after the first disrespectful comment the client made. I would have ended things right there and then. I don't tolerate that kind of treatment, and no one has to, regardless of what anyone who thinks less of them self or all the ladies, will tell you.

It's crazy the things people say and do in order to shut down those who would shine the tiniest light of compassion, generosity or decency. Or, even just those who prefer to attract like minded. Unfortunately, your light also attracts those who know not what they do, who they are, and even those on a mission to put your light out. Maybe because they can't get their own light to shine or something. Never lower your expectations or accept you are fated to mingle with less than the type of individual you prefer. You don't have to do a darn thing. You and your expectations are perfect just the way they are!

I completely understand where you are coming from. I also tend to be a bit more flexible with the public time I spend with a gentleman. I generally plan for some extra time for socializing to begin with even if we are going no further than the patio of my incall. I learned rather quickly that there are hobbyists who will try to take advantage of you.

I've had to reprimand someone for their behavior a few times before. They know they aren't following the standards of behavior they should be. Once you call them out on it, the men tend to rectify their behavior. If they don't, at least you found out the ugliness of their souls before they insinuate themselves more into your hobby life. Granted, this is easier for me since my personal brand (and personality in general) seems to be a bit more feisty than yours. I've never seen you be anything but gracious so I can certainly see how you can be caught in this situation.

My suggestion is to get up and walk away immediately when a man behaves badly in public. Go to the restroom and text/call him to ask if he is ready to treat you with respect. Do not make a scene. Don't stalk out of the room attracting attention with your ire. Remember, you have to respond immediately or the cause/effect won't imprint fully on their puny minds.

Saying things like that is just a power play on their part. They WANT to belittle a woman so far out of their league normally so they can feel better about themselves.

If you need a better day after your ordeal make one. As long as it comes from a completely honest place, there is no shame in contacting an ATF to talk and let him remind you what a wonderful, intelligent, and beautiful woman you are. Of course your RW friends know how great you are and can cheer you up, but there is something particularly cathartic about a hobbyist soothing away the sins of a past client.

Just my .02 Originally Posted by SA Angel

I agree with most everything from both posts but this statement I don't. Isn't feeling your out of some ones league belittling them also. It now becomes a pity fuck. So who is doing a power play now? Just food for thought.

I agree with most everything from both posts but this statement I don't. Isn't feeling your out of some ones league belittling them also. It now becomes a pity fuck. So who is doing a power play now? Just food for thought. Originally Posted by burkalini

Have you SEEN Jaycee's showcase? I rest my case. Granted buxom redheads are my kryptonite so I may be biased.

Now of course there are men who only try to play games like that because of the insecurity in themselves. They feel bad they "had to pay for it" so in retaliation they lash out. That's just immature and childish. But in Jaycee's case I feel safe sticking to my original statement.

SA Angel's advice is super solid. I'm very sorry to hear about your experiences Jaycee. I'm sexually submissive behind closed doors. And in public I generally tend to be demure and amiable. Yet I have no tolerance for men treating women with such disrespect. And as much as I love consensual verbal degradation or humiliation during playtime, the consent aspect is crucial. It sounds like that dude was using the fact that he had money to book a couple hours of your time as an excuse for his piss-poor attitudes about providers. And likely women in general, whether or not they are sex workers.

My suggestion is to get up and walk away immediately when a man behaves badly in public. Go to the restroom and text/call him to ask if he is ready to treat you with respect. Do not make a scene. Don't stalk out of the room attracting attention with your ire. Remember, you have to respond immediately or the cause/effect won't imprint fully on their puny minds. Originally Posted by SA Angel