Owner of a lonely heart

Valentine's Day is Friday. When it comes to love, I am an eternal optimist. I am a few years away from closing out my 20s and as I reflect on the last decade of heart holidays I realize: VD lacks originality! (No pun intended )

I thought it would be fun to compile a list of memorable date ideas from holidays passed. The good, the bad, the ugly. Let's get juicy! (Pun intended)

Okay, I will start:

A few years ago I was casually dating a guy in my building. It was not serious and "dating" is really a generous replacement for "doing". Our three month tryst happened to fall over February 14th and we decided to spend the holiday doing what lovers do: dinner and drinks. How boring! Now, I am a fairly adventurous gal and I wanted to add some zest to an otherwise innocuous Hallmark Holiday. I watched this erotic flick once where a couple engaged in smoshing. (Sloshing? The smearing of food, namely chocolate syrup and whipped cream). It looked like a fun idea, so I purchased the necessary sugary substances and geared up for some messy smashing. I will let your imaginations fill in the blanks but let me give you one small piece of advice: there is a reason XXX stores sell "sex safe" chocolate and edible creams. Hershey's chocolate sauce is not a sufficient body oil and Reddi-wip is not a good substitute for lube. Have you seen Varsity Blues? The whipped cream bikini is only good in theory.

OK, here is something else that is better in theory than practice: red satin sheets. When I arrived at my lover's abode on this particular Valentine's night, I noticed a faint, red glow coming from her bedroom window. Promising, I thought, even if it did give off a bit of a vibe of Amsterdam, or Times Square in the '80s. Anyway, when things started getting heated, we discovered that while getting it on on satin sheets might seem very erotic, staying on those satin sheets is nearly impossible. A few determined thrusts, and we finished the evening on the floor. Fortunately, we both have good senses of humor... and heal quickly.

Try satin sheets on a full wave waterbed! SUICIDAL! :-)

My ex-hubby earned mucho points when he arranged to have a chef offering in-home dinner prep and service the Valentine's following our son's birth which occurred the day before Thanksgiving. It would also be the first time we made love since that auspicious occasion. (Sound woefully familiar, Folks?) I was nursing so the convenience of being able to dress up a bit without worrying about public friendly yet baby accessible concerns or interruptions allowed me to relax and actually enjoy the heated attentions of my sex starved mate. The chef even returned to put away leftovers and clean up, and my mom was across the street at my friend's place with the kids to allow us privacy.

Gifts of a new naughty nightie and scented candle set the stage for our first romantic interlude in over six weeks. It was funny that I felt like a virginal schoolgirl! Lol. (Feeling that right now, actually!)

The REAL surprise, though, was when the ceiling fan above our bed fell, unexpectedly crashing barely a foot away from our legs!!! OMG!!! Good times... :-)

Smart planning on a budget: $150
Reactions to hearing the grand FAN-ALI: PRICELESS!

You had to know that was coming! Lol

P.S. The satin sheets lesson was during high school. I got my mom's king-size waterbed when she moved out of town complete with satin and other sheet set. I could never keep the damn pillows from slipping and sliding off the bed. Drove me NUTS! Bad idea! :-)

Lucky Lovers Liaisons 2U!
XOXOX

I can't say I have ever rolled around on satin sheets, I'm a flannel sheets kind of girl. I did have a chewing gum issue once. Oral sex and Trident is NOT a fun combination, and that time it wasn't me that got caught in a sticky situation

Klovve your back?

Wow been awhile post some new pics girl

How have you been long time no see

^^I am a bit thrown by your handle! Might I know you as someone else? I would love to post photos, but I don't want to be labeled a thread starter but what the hell - I never cared before!

I can't say I have ever rolled around on satin sheets, I'm a flannel sheets kind of girl. Originally Posted by klovve

Flannel sheets are freaking great for the kind of weather we've been having. You can climb right into bed without having to warm things up first. 8 }

^^I am a bit thrown by your handle! Might I know you as someone else? I would love to post photos, but I don't want to be labeled a thread starter but what the hell - I never cared before! Originally Posted by klovve

Hell fat chicks post new pics why can't hot chicks start a new ThreAD TO

FAIR IS FAIR RIGHT

WAIT TIL THEY SEE MY NEW VIDEO BAHHAHAHAHAH


Check your pm's

I can't say I have ever rolled around on satin sheets, I'm a flannel sheets kind of girl. Originally Posted by klovve

Well, see, that's the thing, you can't really roll around on them, only slide!

Try satin sheets on a full wave waterbed! SUICIDAL! :-) Originally Posted by Kit-4-Kat

Having once owned a full wave waterbed (I think we're both really dating ourselves here, does anybody actually buy those things anymore?), the visual has me spitting wine on the keyboard. Waterbeds really weren't good for two people to begin with, I can only imagine what would happen with satin sheets: every time your partner moved, you'd slide to the edge and crash into that damn wood frame on your way to the floor!

How did you put sheets on a water bed? I don't think I have ever seen a water bed. Do they have special sized sheets? Like maybe extra deep pocket?

Side note - Sweethearts should come out with a limited, Hobby Edition candy. Each heart could have an abbreviation. It could then become a bedroom game. Just a thought..

How did you put sheets on a water bed? I don't think I have ever seen a water bed. Do they have special sized sheets? Like maybe extra deep pocket? Originally Posted by klovve

Yep, special sheets with deep pockets, and the fitted and flat sheets were often connected at the foot end so that you didn't have to try to tuck the flat sheet under the water mattress; ever try to lift a bag full of 250 gallons of water?

Side note - Sweethearts should come out with a limited, Hobby Edition candy. Each heart could have an abbreviation. It could then become a bedroom game. Just a thought.. Originally Posted by klovve

You can always order customized Sweetheart candies: http://customcandyhearts.com/. Let's see: BBBJ, K9, Cum Yet?

My favorite Valentine's memory makes me sad because she isn't around anymore, but its great to see you posting again klovve!

sixx

How did you put sheets on a water bed? I don't think I have ever seen a water bed. Do they have special sized sheets? Like maybe extra deep pocket?

Side note - Sweethearts should come out with a limited, Hobby Edition candy. Each heart could have an abbreviation. It could then become a bedroom game. Just a thought.. Originally Posted by klovve

NIce Fratelli... could do M&Ms too but they aren't cheap. Too late for Valentines but maybe Sweetest Day in the fall.

I would love to post photos, but I don't want to be labeled a thread starter but what the hell - I never cared before! Originally Posted by klovve

Hey, you've already started the thread, might as well go all the way and post the photos! And I'll second what Sixx said, it is good to see you posting again.