Joke

First thing Adam said to Eve:
Better stand back,I don't know how big this thing gets!

This may be well known, but here go's:

Did you hear about the guy that takes Viagra and Iron Pills? Every time he get's a hard on, he spins around points north

Did you hear about the guy who was half African-American and half Japanese?Every December 7th he used to attack Pearl Bailey.

Q: How does a prostitute know when she's been raped?

A: The check bounces!

(Courtesy of my BGF, who constantly ribs me about my career-path!)

What do you do when an escort says,"give me eight inches and make it hurt."
Do her twice and steal the envelope.

What do you do when an escort says,"give me eight inches and make it hurt."
Do her twice and steal the envelope. Originally Posted by Lookin4

I envy you guys who can do her twice to make eight inches. I'd have to do her 4 times. At the very least.



Cheers,

bcg

What did Tiger say to his wife just before she hit him with that golfclub?
"Baby I just wasn't cheating.I was just trying to find out what par was for that hole!!!

Viagra is given to males in nursing homes. Why you ask? To stop them from rolling out of bed.

Joke deleted.Too hard to understand.

Mr. T. B. Bechtel, a City Councillor from a Sydney suburb, was asked on a local live radio talk show,
just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists. His reply prompted
his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.

HIS STATEMENT:
'If hooking up one raghead terrorist prisoner's testicles to a car battery to get the truth out of the lying little camel shagger will save just one Australian life, then I have only three things to say,'

'Red is positive, Black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet.'

A married couple with kids old enough to start being enquizitive about sex decided to have codes when interested in love making. His dick was known as, "dirty laundry," and her kitty was known as, "washing machine."

One evening while watching tv, the husband and wife got in to a heated discussing about the show they were watching to the point that the wife didn't even talk to him for a good hour. Once she was talking again, the husband assumed all was well and asked, "can I put my dirty laundry in the washing mashine tonight?" She replied sharply, "the washing machine is broken" and stormed off to bed.

Later on that evening the husband went to bed, turned his back to his wife and started to go to sleep. The wife feeling sorry about her outburst touched her husband on his shoulder and said, "you can put your dirty laundry in the washing mashine if you like." The husband turned to face his wife and angrily said, (drum roll please) "I've already done it by hand."

Mary and Earl met in the retirement home. At the age of 88 and 90 they decided to get married. The staff at the home gave them a night in a local hotel. That night in their room Mary went to the bathroom came out in a sheer gown and Earl said I'll be right back as he went to the bathroom. Time passed and Earl was in there for quite a while.
Finally he came out and Mary was standing on her head. "Mary ! What are you doing?" he exclaimed. Mary stated "Well if you can't get it up- maybe you could just drop it in."

An young diner was setting at a booth when he heard the couple next to him say.

wife said " honey, You see that field, does that bring back any memories?"

Husband-- " Yes darling that was the first place we made love over 50 yrs ago on that fence "

They both grin then he hears them giggle and decide to go rehash memories in the field. so he follows them and ducks down behind a bush. He Sees the couple walk over to the fence, take off all of their clothes.

The man lifts the lady up onto the fence and they procced to have the best most invigorateing sex this guy has ever seen. after about 45 min they hop off the fence and lay down in the tall grass.

About ten minutes later they get up and put on all their clothes and start back toward the diner.

The young diner then steps from outside the bush and apologizes for the intrusion on their moment. He tells them that was the best sex he has ever seen. And asked them how after 50 yrs, do they keep the sex so vibrant and passionate.

The older husband replies. " Well son, we have been married for a long time. 50 yrs ago we made love on that same spot. but back then the fence wasnt an electric fence. "

A woman woke from a deep sleep and reached for her husband...he was not in bed. Thinking this was odd she got out of bed and started looking for him....she found him in the kitchen with an empty bottle of gin and he had obviously been crying...she asked him what he was doing....he responded by asking his wife if she remembered that remembered back when she was 16 and he was 18...the night her father caught them making whooopied....she replied of course i do - that was the night we got married...he responded with an affirmative and guzzled the last drop of gin....she asked what that had to do with him being drunk and depressed....he responded - well that night your dad told me that if I did not marry you right then right there - he would make sure I was prosecuted and would spend twenty years in jail........she gave him a puzzled look and he went on to say.....today would have been the day I got out of jail!

How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same,but the dishes pile up.