You get a provider pregnant now what??????????

VictoriaLyn's Avatar
This is completely hypothetical.....

You and the lady get it on and life happens and she ends up pregnant.....How would you as a hobbiest prefer her to handle it...

Tell you and you take it from there

She not tell you and she handles her business they way she needs to..Ie raise baby on own ....

Also if things go wrong and she losses it before she had a chance to tell you

Does she stay silent or tell you anyways?

again this is completely hypothetical my wondering mind just wants to know

I am talking a super low volume lady who can pinpoint without question
H o l y Sc h i t t !!

(gulps)

Pray that she deleted my contact info and then guest my hobby account.
LOL. No, I'm kidding, but D A M N !

My immediate question would be, how could she be absolutely sure who the father was followed by what she wanted to do?

If I was to be the father and she was going to have the child, I'd definitely want to know about it sooner rather than later.

I mean, imagine her coming to me years later with a teen-age child in-tow expecting us to immediately fall into the father/child role. Not only did I have nothing to do with the child's early years and upbringing --not to mention what's been going through the child's mind over the years--we'd now have to cultivate some sort of relationship. All of that wasted time wouldn't be fair to anybody and it would be wrong on many, many, levels.

Aside from the legal aspects,
Texas law says that both parents are responsible for supporting their children. Just as the mother is responsible for the child even if the pregnancy was not planned, so is the father. This means that once the court determines the identity of the biological father, the man must help support his child.

There's also expenses: pre/post-natal care, insurance, retro-active child support (monies owed for past child support X number of years; I believe it's capped at 4 yrs in Texas), etc. etc.

And the biggie; there's a moral obligation. The child doesn't have a father in it's life.

If I'm the father, let me know ASAP and we'll decide the proper course of action.


But, and I can't emphasize this strongly enough...
H o l y S c h i t t !!



sixxbach's Avatar
well a paternity test is first. im not the only one could be the father. then well you have to man up. its her choice like any other situation
ANONONE's Avatar
Why was she offering bareback?
If you got her pregnant, it's a moot point.
Baloney Pony's Avatar
Howdy, Folks!

Better than 6 cups of coffee, lemme tell ya!


Think I'll just clean out the garage today, instead of hobbying...

Wayward's Avatar
When paTROLLing ANONONE did you ever run across a thread about a condom breaking, coming off or only being about 90% effective when used as a primary form of birth control?

VictoriaLyn I would want to know and sooner rather than later, this is not something you should have to deal with alone. There may not be a great answer at this point, but you should at least talk about it with who ever might be involved.

Just between you and me, could it be a certain 'quiet talker'? "Completely hypothetical....." of course we would not want to make all the Austin indies jealous.

Termite seems to have gotten the handle on it all with

H o l y Sc h i t t !!
As for me, I had a vasectomy in 1976. I have been shooting blanks ever since!
Carl's Avatar
  • Carl
  • 03-14-2010, 08:16 AM
I could get a girl preggers even using a rubber. I have jizz like Houdini!


Hell, just finding my dick is like trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
If you got her pregnant, it's a moot point. Originally Posted by Termite
True.

My knee jerk thought would be to not tell him and do what I need to do. Live by the sword and all. But after thinking about it for what, a few moments(?), it would so much depend on the person who was the biological father.

Besides, there would also be the issue of the father saying, "You're not fit to be a parent with what you do. I'm taking custody." It could happen and then what?

Elisabeth
Miss Sophie Bella's Avatar
I hope everyone here thinks of this exact scenario the next time they're in the voting booth and are encouraged to protect women's reproductive freedom. Choice is a beautiful thing, friends. So is The Pill.

But, just for the sake of conversation, let's assume a provider is not on hormonal birth control and she conceives. Barring a positive paternity test, I think it's reasonable for a gentleman who has been having protected intercourse with her to assume he's not her only sexual partner and that there are other potential sperm donors in the picture. Asking him to assume responsibility as a parent is a very tall order. Like Elisabeth, I would be reluctant to inform clients of my situation and would be more inclined to deal with the pregnancy without their input if I ever found myself in that position.

This board has seen lengthy discussions about the risks in the hobby as they pertain to being "outed" and the privacy of our personal lives. The regular risks implicit in sexual behaviors have been discussed far less. Very, very interesting...

Just between you and me, could it be a certain 'quiet talker'? "Completely hypothetical....." of course we would not want to make all the Austin indies jealous. Originally Posted by Wayward
Oh no he di'ent!

"quiet talker"=Whispers???

TFF!
Fancyinheels's Avatar
Why was she offering bareback? Originally Posted by ANONONE
Ditto, but sometimes condoms fail, ya know. Stuff happens.

Personally, I also would most likely not make it public and consider it a side effect of the profession and my responsibility. What can you do to figure out paternity without a DNA test after the baby's born NOT to disrupt several gentleman's lives for 9 months with the possibility of unplanned parenthood? (Yes, I'm aware of amniocentesis, but that has risks to mother and fetus.)

What happens then depends on many factors. At my age with my medical background, I would not even consider carrying a baby to term with the high incident of birth defects among "mature" mothers. Twenty years ago I might, and I would have retired from providing immediately. I have kind of wondered how those working girls with children handle the inevitable questions from their curious kids. "What do you do for money, Mama?" "Everything."

Hmmm, speaking of medical backgrounds, there's an argument for pinning down daddy if you decide to have the baby. You may need to know what you'll be dealing with in terms of chronic illness and family health history.


Interesting, this thread peaked my curiousity so a little research I did...the CDC breaks condom failure into two categories: user failure (inappropriately applied condom or not using a condom 100% of the time) and method failure (actual failure of the condom). They do focus on the first year that "couples" use condoms as a form of birth control and the statistics drop after year 1.

Method failure of male condoms is uncommon. In fact, it is estimated to occur among only three percent of couples using condoms consistently and correctly during the first year of use. To help individuals understand this estimate, Contraceptive Technology explains that "only three of 100 couples who use condoms perfectly for one year will experience an unintended pregnancy."2

It goes on to say that "if each [of these 100 couples] had intercourse at the average coital frequencey of 83 acts per year, then 100 couples would have intercourse a combined 8,300 times a year. Three pregnancies resulting from 8,300 acts of condom use is a remarkably low pregnancy rate (.04 percent) when calculated on a per-condom basis."
rekcaSxT's Avatar
The first thing you do is call the Maury show and tell them the situation. Then you proceed to test 10 different guys. With each one you increase the nonsensical percentae of how sure you are that THIS guy is the daddy. (One Thousand % sure, One MILLION % sure, One BILLION %) Then after each guy is revealed as "Not The Father", you run behind the stage and cry, meanwhile the guy jumps around saying "yeah! yeah! yeah!".

Ok, that was a joke. But I am a proudly vasectomized (is that a word) man. I decided years ago that if I wanted kids I wanted to adopt since I was adopted. So I got the snip!

Whomever is in this situation right now, you or a friend, good luck.