What are the rules in the hobby world for going out?

For example:

Going to a day spa that offers couples massage, going out to eat, going to a movie, an event, etc.

Are the men supposed to pay for time during the date? How much? What do

you guys/men think about this?

To the women, is it a bad idea to go out and get to know people in this kind of setting?

I'm just curious about what peoples experiences have been.

If the provider invites I assume it is free and for fun with no intimate contact. If I invite, i assume I am going to pay for her time. It has not happened to me much and outside of Loving Kayla I would not really want to do it again. kayla is special.

Well, I have been out for dinner, drinks, dancing, lunch, movie, etc. and whether I have done the inviting or my guy has done the inviting, I consider it NOT BCD so it's off the clock.

What I enjoy is BCD time BEFORE the said "time out" then going somewhere, ESPECIALLY to eat because (for SOME reason) I usually have quite an appetite! I just have to schedule those appointments as the last of the work day...

Oh yeah, sometimes I have even paid for the meal, movie, etc...

I have done dinner's out and lunches with a few ladies, a couple of the ladies, we would go out to dinner or lunch off the clock and then go back to their place for some BCD time. The time at lunch/dinner was off the clock, and the BCD time was at the regular gift amount.

I have also gone to lunch with a few ladies that wanted the regular gift amount during the lunch time as well.

For me I guess it depends on the lady, if she is someone that I am really wanting to see, spend time with I have no problem paying the regular gift amount for lunch/dinner as long as it is not drawn out for a couple of hours.

So I gave this some thought and I have a few more feelings about his. I think that as men, even though we know we are paying for services, we are a world apart from providers. Here me out. First off, these girls are very special and beautiful. We all have our choices on who we see and some girls may be one guys cup of tea and another guys nightmare. Nevertheless; this is a business for them. I am not married but I do know this: Women have it easy when it comes to figuring out men - Cater to our ego and show affection. We are pretty simple in the grand scheme. We are visual creatures. Women are auditory. We are turned on by what she is wearing and women are turned on by what we are tellling them as it pertains to how special they are. Why do you think the only piece of lingerie for men is a g_string with an elephant trunk on the dick side. Nevertheless; I digress...My point being, some of the women here are very special and I am sure they have guys they truly enjoy seeing or spending time with. I am sure there are others that are not good looking, perhaps hairy or bad skills. They still see them, this is their business and I think for us guys we have a harder time detaching. We walk away thinking their was a connection but that is really a successful business transaction on her part. She made you feel special and you will be back. You possed no threat and she did her job. I have tremendous respect for the girls here because I could never do it; No matter the circumstances. I can rarely see the sme girl more than a few times because I cannot separate the feelings. I am not an MP guy because the setting terrifies me and the volume prevents me from getting excited. I am also not a full service guy because I...Well that is my business. My point being, if there is an invite to a non sexual encouter, I think you may have bonded. Take her up on it but do not expect any side dishes. If they should occur I think you should discuss what that entails finacially. I do not think she would find it offensive. I moved to Dallas in 05 and my company put me at an extended stay at 635 and 75. You know where I am going with this. I had never hobbied but it was so obvious at this hotel I started asking questions. One day I just knocked on this girls door and told her I was new to Dallas, knew nobody and lonely. She hooked me up, sent me to ASPD and the rest is history. The funny thing is, I met some great people online and in person. Kayla and I share something cool in common but other than that I really try to keep a UTR presence. I do not review ever. Never, so I have to pay for the access. I do not feel bad about that, and many of you have helped me in making decisions about girls. Nonetheless, I like it when what you speak of happens. I means she likes you outside of the hobby, you touched a nerve so to speak and she is onsidering you as more than a client. I hope you can deal with it with a level head. Me, I have a difficult time with it. I get atttached and tend to become emotional. As an example, there are girls on this site I will never see because I know that I could not leave it at one encounter. Carrie Hillcrest, Natasha Fame, Karina Taylor etc. I know based on thier postings that I would like them beyond the hobby. I know that is weird, I am weird but I am safe, I understand Nitwitboy and I know which girls provide a fun time and that I wil not fall for. Sorry this was long. It is a great thread started by Suzel.

I am curious what Suzel looks like.

I think the provider needs to set the guidelines and be clear up front. Very clear.

Ask any good provider that has been around a while how much fun it is to deal with the guy who mistakes good service for true love.

For example: Are the men supposed to pay for time during the date? How much? What do you guys/men think about this Originally Posted by Suzel

The way I handled that was as follows: First, I always booked multiple hour appointments. I paid for time, so I did not purchase ``dinner date packages.'' Second, when I felt like the session was done and it was a good time to leave, I would offer to take her out for a late lunch or dinner. There was almost always some time left. If she wanted to go, I would pick up lunch or dinner, but I would not pay for addional time to cover the time spent eating. I left it up to her to go or not with whatever additional time was needed to be off-the-clock. Usually, that meant at least some of that would be her time. I don't mind eating alone, so it was her choice to join me or not. However, I would never have expected a provider to go somewhere without compensation. Almost always, she would go, probably because I had already paid for 2, 3 or more hours of time.

Allow me to reiterate Monkmonk's point: Money is the difference between good service and true love. Keep them separate by charging something for the non-BCD time.

I like dinner date packages, and I expect to pay an extra hundred bucks, give or take, for the two extra hours or so of chatting, eating and flirting that precedes BCD. I'd be very suspicious of a provider that offered that extra two hours for free, and I'd simply reject as uneconomical a provider that wanted to charge me her usual BCD rate for eating and drinking wine on my dime.

I don't necessarily agree with having non BCD time at "no charge" is being an uneconomical provider.

I have gentlemen who I consider friends that I actually enjoy spending time with. Are they married? Yes. Are they fun? Yes.

I have gone to movies where I let my "friend" buy the tickets and popcorn. I don't like attending movies alone so I don't see that as uneconomical at all. I have been to lunch or dinner where I let my "friend" pay the tab. It's not really all that fun to eat alone either.

At the same time, I have paid the way before too. Of course, I would do that whether it were a client or a girlfriend.

The bottom line is this: If I didn't have the time NOR the desire to go "out", I would not go. If I didn't enjoy the company of the person, I wouldn't go either.

Everyone is different and everyone has their own reasons for doing things. My work hours are what they are. My off-the-clock hours are what they are as well.

One time I invited a gentleman to join my girlfriend and I to go hear a particular band and he accepted. We had a blast! A few drinks, a few dances, LOTS of conversation. About halfway through the evening, I told him that, by my calculations, he had spent about 3 hours with two of us so he probably owed me about $1K. We ALL laughed and laughed about it! It was all just FUN!

I can see where you would get the impression you have, Sarcastro but don't think we are ALL that way. Like I said before, I would rather have the BCD activities BEFORE anyway. THAT kind of makes it a bit easier too because neither party is tense any more.

Just MY thoughts here but I usually march to the beat of a different drummer!

--v

Vnurse, I would make an exception for you simply because I admire your drama-free, no-nonsense approach to the hobby as revealed through your posts, and I'm sure you could make the true love/good service distinction. But there are many providers that aren't as grounded, level-headed and drama-free (and that's probably a gross understatement), and therefore I would be leery of "free" time.

The "uneconomical" part was directed at those few providers that insist that all time be charged at BCD rates, even if they're drinking my cabernet and eating a steak that I paid for. I simply won't pay BCD rates for those activities.

I see nothing wrong having dinner with someone to get to know them at no charge......hell, we all have to eat! LOL! In fact, I've had dinner with several gentlemen for that very purpose and when it came to BCD, we were both more relaxed and enjoyed each other to the max!

But, let's not forget that there are some men who might take advantage of this arrangement and never go through with BCD! I've never had that happen to me, so make sure you are upfront about your time and what is to be expected!

I have been to lunch with some ladies after the BCD activities. It was a spur of the moment and it was off the clock. I did pay for the meal, but I am a guy and would feel like a slug if I let a lady pay when I did the inviting.

Also it wasnt the first visit with them either. I prefer to see the lady more than once. The first time is for me the uncomfortable feeling of what to do and not do...similar to a first date. If I feel a bond, to me makes an awesome session but I know that it is 99% of the time business. I can personally say that I have bonded (as friends) with one provider in the past and we go out to the movies, drinking, clubbing after the session and I will book as her last session of the day.

I believe that I've had meals (and drinks if lunch or dinner) with only about 3 ladies since I started this online stuff a little over 7 years ago. It was always understood by me up front that it was off the clock with these ladies. I think that the lady needs to take the lead if non BCD time is involved between the lady and me.

Sarcastro, thank you very much for the kind words! I always say "if I want drama, I'll call my daughter". LOL!

Tell you what...if you ever get to Fort Worth, give me a shout and we'll "do" lunch! Who knows? Maybe before OR after we do lunch, we can DO lunch!

If I ever get down Houston way, I'll let you know for sure!

I have had many great non-BCD experiences with provider friends. Several have offered to buy drinks after a particularly enjoyable session--I never let them pay, but appreciate that they are offering their time for free. I'm sure part of the reason is to enhance the experience for me and get me to come back and see them, but I don't care--it works. Other times, I have made the offer of dinner, or even of overnight/travel arrangements. Generally, I think the non-BCD time should not be free, but provided at a discount, especially if tied into a multi-hour session paid for at the full rate. For instance, when I am in CA, I usually stay in the Newport Beach area, which is quite a distance from LA and the valley where most of the girls are--I always schedule a 2-hour session and offer dinner at a discounted rate, just to make it worth the drive for the lady. As an old guy, a session before dinner, dinner to re-charge and relax, followed by an after-dinner treat, is a wonderful way to maximize the experience.