How to keep those nards fresh...

  • Sami
  • 11-03-2013, 07:41 PM
I didn't know they made stuff like this

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A8OGM5A/

Read the reviews.. I copied and pasted the first one below.

Keep those nards fresh, June 7, 2013
By
Thomas J Kelly



Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Fresh Balls Lotion The Solution for Men - 3 OZ tube (Health and Beauty)
This product is great. I'm a male prostitute I need my genitals to be fresh at all times. Nothing turns a paying customer off more than a pair of acorns that reek like, well..... that reek like you're a male prostitute. I work mostly with older ladies who enjoy the company of an guy who has confidence that his bojangles smell clean and presentable. This product does that. Before I used Fresh Balls my giblets stuck to my leg and would smell like burnt plastic and garbage juice. My sales were terrible and I thought I would have to quit the biz and move back in with my parents. (My dad is an extremely successful male prostitute so this is even more embarrassing.) I tried everything from cologne, to Lysol, to actually washing them and nothing seemed to stop the stink. I bought Fresh Balls as a last ditch effort to save my career. Holy heck did it work! My marbles are clean, fresh, and ready to go at all times. No longer do I have to worry that if I pick up a Jill (what we call female customers in the biz) at the dollar store by my condo that my balls smell sour. They don't smell sour. They smell great. You don't have to be a male prostitute to buy this product. It works for everybody with a sack that wants it to smell like a summer breeze. My sack smells like a summer breeze. A summer breeze that will have sex with you for money. Thank you Fresh Balls!
rootscoot's Avatar
Lmao. That is great.
Learn something new everyday...so nards is plural for nad (s)?

He could have just dipped them burnt plastic smellin nards in some slightly boiling vinegar and been done with it.
Hysterical.

Company name is Happy Junk LLC. Hilarious.

Gotta get me some of those Dude Wipes advertised at the bottom.

Thx OP. That was a good laugh.
LnH
  • Sami
  • 11-03-2013, 09:41 PM
I think I'm gonna get some of those dude wipes and fresh ball lotion, to offer the guys. If I could hold a straight face

Hysterical.

Company name is Happy Junk LLC. Hilarious.

Gotta get me some of those Dude Wipes advertised at the bottom.

Thx OP. That was a good laugh.
LnH Originally Posted by LoveNHorny
This is awesome. I'm now just a few short days and a postal delivery away from being a male hooktard. The money's gonna be comin' in this direction from now on, ladies.
That's gonna gimme the edge I need to succeed!
Hercules's Avatar
I use that stuff (and no I'm not a male-prostitute). It came highly recommended by a men's health magazine too. However I will say that it doesn't dry as fast as they claim ESPECIALLY in a hot steamy men's locker room. Imagine the looks you'll get when standing there in your best sumo wrestler pose with the boys hanging low, covered in white lotion being fanned with a hand cloth.
corona's Avatar
Some bikers have been using this stuff for years! http://www.amazon.com/Anti-Monkey-Bu...ey+butt+powder

Nothing worse that totally sweaty balls when riding your scoot!
LOL Sami, How did you find that..