Phrases you wanted to utter when confronted with a not so hot provider

Guys, have you ever had a date with a provider that was not so hot after you took of her clothes? Did you want to head for the hills after seeing her in all her splendor?

How did you handle the situation? Did you actually utter one of the following phrases?

• "Oh, gee, you have so many wrinkles!"
• You look nothing like your ad."
• "You'd be so pretty if you lost weight."
• "Huh -- I thought you looked younger with clothes on."
• "I like firmer butts and perkier breasts."
• "Do you have a refund policy?"
• "Uh, I gotta go now."
• "Let me go get my condom from my car"
• "I refuse to be the victim of bait-and-switch!"

Did she slap you? Or did you go all out and faked a heart attack?

Ive said, "This isnt going to work"

I bet you were something back in the 80's.

Do we wear the same pants size?

Have you ever thought about waxing?

How are your grandkids?

Would you care for a mint?

Would you mind taking a shower?

When do you get your new teeth?

Please leave the light off.

I don't think I need the whole hour.

Who was that walking out as I was about to knock?

You should remember me from when you taught me in 5th grade.

How did that happen?

I need to go to my car, I forgot my phone.

Photoshop really is amazing.

What NFL team did you play for.

You know Pookie really isn't so bad.

What club do you dance at?

Do you know Mr. Smith?

How long ago was he here?

--> Sorry, I don't do chicks with ankle monitors.

Did you eat the other girl?

When a provider advertises no smoking !
Did you just take up smoking or have you been standing over a burning trash barrel?

wow smh you guys are hilarious and mean all at the same time lol

wow smh you guys are hilarious and mean all at the same time lol Originally Posted by italia

I'm sure you ladies could have a field day with a thread like this.. LMAO

Well if you try to sell chicken salad don't fill it with horse shit.

That is when I wish the big ugly pimp would bust out of the closet so I have a reason to get the hell out.

I thought I had posted this one. Hope I never have to use it.

I hope that's a gun in your pocket and not from being glad to see me

Well normally I'd stick around but the opera needs their fat lady to sing so you're free to go.

Are the pictures on your website, your daughter's?

Were your pictures taken before the turn of the Century?

I'd like to hear what the ladies would like to say to some of us guys! Like:

Did you say you had a reduction operation on your penis? I'm having trouble finding it!
Would you mind shaving, brushing your teath and taking a shower before we proceed?
We better stick to doggie, I don't think I can get my legs around your hips!
I'd love to suck your balls if you'd shave your junk! (I actually had a girl say that)
Did you say you've been cleaning fish this morning?
Have you ever thought about taking up another hobby?

You should remember me from when you taught me in 5th grade. Originally Posted by capitan1962

I don't know man...that one is actually a fantasy!